Anyone else like me? Am I Gay turning Bi?

[nugmartin]

I have read a few stories where guys get more and more attracted to other guys as they get older. I have the opposite reaction. I always identify myself as gay. But after my last long relationship (8years) with a guy ended, I find myself more and more attracted to females.

I still find guys attractive. I do not generally look at women in a sexual way. I do however enjoy straight porn more than gay porn. I still need to look at the guys in straight porn tho.

I dont know, I am so confused. It is so strange to feel like this. I am not young anymore, I am 34. At this age you should know who you really are.


I have had a sexual experience with an ex GF back in High School, that was my only time. But I do find (sorry) vagina fascinating. It's hard to explain, I just feel like I want to feel it again. It's been 17 years since I had one.

Has anyone else felt like this before? Gay but wants to have sex with women? Not having a relationship with Women, just sex. Or in my case, I am actuallly more attracted to the genital than the actual females. Weird I know.

Thoughts? Sorry English is not my first language.
Thanks

 

[OTOMIX]

This better happen to me, I want children but how is it possible if you're not straight?

 

[evanrick]

yeah i can understand that - but men tend to think about other men more than women, unless they are straight.

 

[deksman2]

This better happen to me, I want children but how is it possible if you're not straight?

Adoption and artificial insemination (of a friend who would in this case act as a surrogate)?
Or you could even arrange artificial insemination at home without having intercourse with the girl (its doable, and can save you a lot of money in the process).

Those 2 remain an option if you live in a country that permits or has such procedures.

Personally, I cannot stand children a lot, nor do I want my own. I find it a pointless endeavor when there's so much to learn/experience in life on my own on a continuous basis (without being 'tied down' by caring for kids).

 

[cardinal2007]

I have read a few stories where guys get more and more attracted to other guys as they get older. I have the opposite reaction. I always identify myself as gay. But after my last long relationship (8years) with a guy ended, I find myself more and more attracted to females.

Thanks

I'm much the same way, for some reason I started finding women sexually attractive, and now a lot more sexually attractive the last few months, and I also used to consider myself gay for years.

To be honest I don't worry too much about labels like some people, I know people who would claim if you give a guy a blow job you can never claim to be straight, I think if a guy wants to only date women and call himself straight, or if a guy wants to only date guys and call himself gay, even if in either case they want to have casual sex with either sex, that is fine with me. People get too wrapped up with these labels, and some people want to make it an identity or a lifestyle.

Having sex with a woman will not suddenly make you straight, I think that is putting too much stock on casual sex, just like if a straight guy sleeps with a guy it doesn't suddenly make him gay.

Personally I started calling myself bi, because I prefer to think of this based on what your attracted to, but you don't have to do that.

As for not wanting to date women, I totally understand you there, I've been there too, I tried dating girls from 18-22 years old, I'm 31 btw, I never slept with any of them, and in hindsight those relationships really sucked for me. When I started dating guys after that it was like something really clicked, but relationships, and sex are different matters. So I admit that I am only viewing women as sexual object in that regard, sorry, but I can't see myself dating women, I don't think it is weird.

Either way as I would give advice to a straight guy curious about guys, the same thing applies, if you're single, you should just try to satisfy your curiosity, either you will like it, or not, but you will stop obsessing about it in your head, always practice safe sex though.

And yeah, a change in sexual attraction doesn't change who you are.

In my case I have a partner, so I just leave women in the realm of sexual fantasy.

 

[cardinal2007]

This better happen to me, I want children but how is it possible if you're not straight?

As much as I do believe in sexual fluidity I don't think you can guide it unless you're already bi, in which case I do think you're just messing with your head. Either way as much as I want a kid too, I wouldn't want to be straight, or even date women, and you don't have to be straight to even impregnate a woman (I do know of bi fathers on a different site), somehow my kid having a mother that I have to interact with seems to be a big downer for me, I don't really get along with women. I couldn't date a woman, much less have a kid with one.

I think I will probably end up doing adoption, unless I end up significantly wealthier than I am now, in which case I would end up doing surrogacy, I would end up raising the child with my partner.

I suppose there are ways of ending up with a kid without actually having to deal with the mother, but those are convoluted stories, like the mother dies when giving birth or soon after, or she loses custody for being unfit, but seriously no.

 

[nugmartin]

I'm much the same way, for some reason I started finding women sexually attractive, and now a lot more sexually attractive the last few months, and I also used to consider myself gay for years.

To be honest I don't worry too much about labels like some people, I know people who would claim if you give a guy a blow job you can never claim to be straight, I think if a guy wants to only date women and call himself straight, or if a guy wants to only date guys and call himself gay, even if in either case they want to have casual sex with either sex, that is fine with me. People get too wrapped up with these labels, and some people want to make it an identity or a lifestyle.

Having sex with a woman will not suddenly make you straight, I think that is putting too much stock on casual sex, just like if a straight guy sleeps with a guy it doesn't suddenly make him gay.

Personally I started calling myself bi, because I prefer to think of this based on what your attracted to, but you don't have to do that.

As for not wanting to date women, I totally understand you there, I've been there too, I tried dating girls from 18-22 years old, I'm 31 btw, I never slept with any of them, and in hindsight those relationships really sucked for me. When I started dating guys after that it was like something really clicked, but relationships, and sex are different matters. So I admit that I am only viewing women as sexual object in that regard, sorry, but I can't see myself dating women, I don't think it is weird.

Either way as I would give advice to a straight guy curious about guys, the same thing applies, if you're single, you should just try to satisfy your curiosity, either you will like it, or not, but you will stop obsessing about it in your head, always practice safe sex though.

And yeah, a change in sexual attraction doesn't change who you are.

In my case I have a partner, so I just leave women in the realm of sexual fantasy.

Thanks for your input. I am actually scared of trying it with a woman again. What if I like it and want to take it further. I am worried about what people around me would think. Friends and family. Especially family. When I came out to my parents, they thought it was just a phase. I came out when I was 21. My mum actually questioned my past girlfriends etc. Are you sure you're gay? She even broke down in tears. She's cool with it now. It is so strange........... sexuality is strange. I still believe that you're born gay. If I start having a relationship with a woman, my parents would probably think, see homosexuality is just a phase. Oh well, don't really wanna care too much about what others think.... see what happens

 

[Str8Top14701]

Go with what makes you happy. No one's sexuality is static. It changes with time, circumstance, health, you name it. Don't let the haters that think if you don't stay "100% gay" (whatever the fuck that means) you're betraying the whole gay cause and life. Don't me a traitor to yourself, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. It's not their life, and you don't live for their approval. See what happens. If you like it, fine. If you don't, that's fine, too. Life is too short not to be enjoyed!

 

[johnnyw]

How does a pussy feel on your cock?

- - - Updated - - -

Does vagina juice feel good?

 

[nugmartin]

Go with what makes you happy. No one's sexuality is static. It changes with time, circumstance, health, you name it. Don't let the haters that think if you don't stay "100% gay" (whatever the fuck that means) you're betraying the whole gay cause and life. Don't me a traitor to yourself, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. It's not their life, and you don't live for their approval. See what happens. If you like it, fine. If you don't, that's fine, too. Life is too short not to be enjoyed!

Yeah, thanks for the advice such a weird feeling.

 

[nugmartin]

Go with what makes you happy. No one's sexuality is static. It changes with time, circumstance, health, you name it. Don't let the haters that think if you don't stay "100% gay" (whatever the fuck that means) you're betraying the whole gay cause and life. Don't me a traitor to yourself, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. It's not their life, and you don't live for their approval. See what happens. If you like it, fine. If you don't, that's fine, too. Life is too short not to be enjoyed!

Yeah, thanks for the advice such a weird feeling but I think I will explore it and follow your advice

 

[cardinal2007]

Well, I don't think you necessarily have to date women, if you just want sex just go for it, sure it is work, but you don't have to make it more than that. As for possibly liking it more, why don't you cross that bridge when you get there, if you actually do, which it doesn't sound like you do. A for your parents needing to know, do you tell them about every guy you see? I'm guessing no, and really they would think it is a 13+ year phase, I think you should relax, you can correct them if you want on the off chance it gets to that. You don't need to worry about every little what if, take life one step at a time and enjoy yourself, sleeping with a girl once doesn't make you straight and you're under no obligation to tell the world.

 

[AsianDream]

Go with what makes you happy. No one's sexuality is static. It changes with time, circumstance, health, you name it. Don't let the haters that think if you don't stay "100% gay" (whatever the fuck that means) you're betraying the whole gay cause and life.

I was exclusively gay till 3 years ago and am now BI.

I found that some gay friends didn’t like the idea that sexual orientation can change – but I’m quite happy with the idea that I was born bi-sexual – but just didn’t realise it. Some of my friends did view it as a sort of betrayal of the cause.

In my case it was the result of being persuaded to try a foursome by a male fuck buddy with a female couple who were very keen on the same fetish as us (Watersports). We all enjoyed it so much - it became a regular thing and has carried on ever since – though I’m away from home (Australia) working a lot of the time – and I do have two other local male partners.

I think being bi-sexual can be difficult if you’re not in some sort of either open or group relationship. Most of the bi guys I’ve known in the past have been in a relationship with a woman and just liked casual sex with other men. That could be just that finding casual male sex partners seems to be much easier than casual female ones.

I’m very aroused by both male and female genitals - also female breasts. But I find male asses far more sexy than female. Also meeting other people – it’s far more often men that I find sexually attractive than women.

 

[nugmartin]

I’m very aroused by both male and female genitals - also female breasts. But I find male asses far more sexy than female. Also meeting other people – it’s far more often men that I find sexually attractive than women.

That's exactly how I feel at the moment. Still find men more attractive than women.

 

[EdsonDotado]

I considered myself straight in high school, bi in college, and gay now. I could still enjoy sex with a woman, but that's no longer my first choice and I don't date women, so I consider myself gay.

 

[Str8Top14701]

No problem. If you have any questions you don't want to air out here, email me.

 

[Str8Top14701]

Glad you found what you liked. Sometimes it's about the person (people in your case, lol) and not just their sex. I have a few lesbian friends that like to hook up with me, and that technically makes them bi, since it wasn't a one-time thing, can't chalk it up to one night of too many drinks, etc. The running joke with some of them is that they're not bi, I'm lesbian@ LOL

 

[TimesGoneBi]

People change and evolve over time. your not the person you were ten years ago, or even five. When I first started realizing I liked guys too, I fought it. Because I was worried I would stop liking women. Or if I didn't stop liking women I would be fooling myself or being a coward or something. After having one side of myself telling me I had to be completely that, I was worried I would have to listen to the other side. But I was very very lucky to have found the right group of friends, guys and gals. And a great therapist. I sometimes wonder if my circle of friends and I weren't subconsciously drawn to each other cause we sensed we were the same underneath. But regardless, I was lucky.
The thing is, once I accepted I was attracted to guys, my libido increased. I was a little worried I was more into girls than ever before because I was slipping into denial again. But my lust for guys also skyrocketed. I later realized, my libido got a boost because it was finally free. I had been starving an aspect of my sexuality, so the whole thing was dimmed down. I was stopping myself from being a complete person.
So, my advice is LISTEN to yourself. We can't really fake to ourselves who we are attracted to. And we can't truly smother a part of ourselves completely, no should we try. What you decide to act on is completely up to you. But you can feel safe to be free inside your own self at least.

 

[mikey3000]

I have mety many men who were exclusively gay, out and proud for many, many years who, to their surprise, found themselves attracted to women. Several actually got married and have families now and are very happy. They still like men, but like women moreso.

I really do believe in the fluidity of sexuality.