Anyone else think...

[asu1117]

Bisexuality is needlessly confusing?





I mean, in some ways, it's really simple. We're attracted to both genders. But is the attraction equal? Which gender do you prefer sexually? Emotionally?






Not to mention that if you ever enter a committed, long term relationship you essentially have to give up half of your sexuality?






And to top it off, we get stigma from both sides of the fence. A gay man saying bisexuality doesn't exist is no less offensive than a straight one saying homosexuality is a choice. Of course, all the gay men that pretend to be bisexual when they first come out only feeds the ignorance.






Rant over.

 

[sixthson]

This is a topic that always turns into a dog fight, which is too bad since intelligent, mature discussion would likely help us understand each other.

Having said that, I have always been glad that I was not bisexual and just as happy that I am partnered to a man who is not bisexual, either.

 

[jizzinmypants]

I agree with original poster but at the end of the day, I am a guy that is attracted to PEOPLE (meaning men and women) and the act of sex in general. I find both sexes desirable emotionally and physically. I don't think it needs anymore explanation or justification.

 

[bankside]

I would be happy to be bisexual,* though that wouldn't change the relationship I have with my guy.

I think it would be a lot easier if bisexuality meant "equal attraction."

The trouble comes from straight or gay people who have been burned by bi people who just weren't into it as much as they were.

I think "bi" people who aren't capable of equally being with men or women emotionally, sexually, etc, should call themselves something else.

Maybe quasi-bi. Or heteroflexible. Or homoexperimental. It would clear up a lot of confusion and heartache.

But "bi" should be reserved for people who truly can experience the full range of sexuality, from lust to love, with someone regardless of gender.





* actually, now that I think about it, being gay probably saved me from a bad relationship with a woman that I would probably have gotten trapped in if I had been bi. At least for a while. So in practice it would not have worked for me even if the theory is good.

 

[EJMichaels]

...Not to mention that if you ever enter a committed, long term relationship you essentially have to give up half of your sexuality?...

Well, yes and no. I know what you mean, but a non-bi person in a LTR has to give up all the people who aren't the partner. Doesn't a gay man in a LTR stop trying to get other men? It's not much different if bi, except that you might give up twice as many people. Or, if you're lucky, your partner is cool with a little messing around on the side, especially if he gets to be there.

Perhaps the issue is wanting BOTH as compared to being able to love EITHER.

And I agree with Bankside about the term not fitting all degrees of bisexuality. There have been other posts on this, such as those by Flexuality who proposes several categories for people attracted to both sexes.

 

[easyroad]

Bisexuality is needlessly confusing?





I mean, in some ways, it's really simple. We're attracted to both genders. But is the attraction equal? Which gender do you prefer sexually? Emotionally?






Not to mention that if you ever enter a committed, long term relationship you essentially have to give up half of your sexuality?






And to top it off, we get stigma from both sides of the fence. A gay man saying bisexuality doesn't exist is no less offensive than a straight one saying homosexuality is a choice. Of course, all the gay men that pretend to be bisexual when they first come out only feeds the ignorance.






Rant over.

I sympathise with your concerns, except with number 2.

The whole pont of a long term relationship is that they're both faithful to each other. And from what I heard, bisexuals are just as capable as anyone else to be monogamous. So if you're not ready for that responsibility, then don't enter a long term relationship. Simple as that.

 

[asu1117]

This is a topic that always turns into a dog fight, which is too bad since intelligent, mature discussion would likely help us understand each other.

Having said that, I have always been glad that I was not bisexual and just as happy that I am partnered to a man who is not bisexual, either.

I wasn't trying to start another crazy bisexual dogfight, that's why i put it in this forum instead of hot topics, lol. In slight hopes that people could talk about it with some intelligence and poise.

I think "bi" people who aren't capable of equally being with men or women emotionally, sexually, etc, should call themselves something else.

Maybe quasi-bi. Or heteroflexible. Or homoexperimental. It would clear up a lot of confusion and heartache.

But "bi" should be reserved for people who truly can experience the full range of sexuality, from lust to love, with someone regardless of gender.

Maybe we should all just take use Kinsey scale and refer to our sexuality as a number rather than homo, hetero, or bi.

 

[bankside]

I wasn't trying to start another crazy bisexual dogfight, that's why i put it in this forum instead of hot topics, lol. In slight hopes that people could talk about it with some intelligence and poise.



Maybe we should all just take the Kinsey test and refer to our sexuality as a number rather than homo, hetero, or bi.

yeah, that would be a lot better. i have a few issues with kinsey, but that would be a lot better.

 

[mark08]

Bi to me is being as attracted PHYSICALLY and EMOTIONALLY to BOTH genders. A gay man experimenting with women or a straight man experimenting with men does not make them bi.

For example, if a married straight guy has been with 25 women in his life and decides to try giving head to a guy, how does that suddenly make him ''Bi''? It's not like he would go out with the guy, etc. At most you can call him 25:1 straight:gay ratio.

Same thing for a gay guy putting his penis in a vagina to try it out, sure it's fun and feels good, but if he feels no real attraction towards the girl he's still gay, not bi.

Sticking feathers up your ass dosen't make you a chicken.

 

[Female]

I agree with original poster but at the end of the day, I am a guy that is attracted to PEOPLE (meaning men and women) and the act of sex in general. I find both sexes desirable emotionally and physically. I don't think it needs anymore explanation or justification.

Marry me?

 

[LikesDudes2]

That's an interesting point about a gay man experimenting with a woman. It's like if a gay guy does that, well, he's still gay no matter what. If a straight guy experiments with a guy, then you get thrown to the other end of the spectrum forever, regardless of what you do.

 

[EJMichaels]

... It will always be a challenge for anyone but heterosexuals to deal with societal "norms" (and I use that term very loosely) but the important thing in my opinion is that you yourself know, accept and embrace your own sexuality without needing to put labels on it. Put it this way, if you're a square peg, it just means working a bit harder to fit into a round hole, but it doesn't make it less satisfying once you succeed.

^ I normally wouldn't invoke the peg and hole image to make a point, but it's quite "fitting" here.

For the same reason, I love mark08's "Sticking feathers up your ass doesn't make you a chicken."

 

[mark08]

That's an interesting point about a gay man experimenting with a woman. It's like if a gay guy does that, well, he's still gay no matter what. If a straight guy experiments with a guy, then you get thrown to the other end of the spectrum forever, regardless of what you do.

Exactly, strong double standards.