Anyone here in a gay marriage WITH kids?

[fallinlove]

Is anyone here married to another guy and has kids? If so how did you get the kids (surrogacy, adoption, with another woman in shared parenting)?

Did you always want kids? Or did your husband want it more?

 

[fallinlove]

Haha nobody??

 

[sixthson]

I am, but I got such negative feedback when posting about my children that I stopped saying anything.

There are married (to women) men here who have children and there are men here with ex wives with children, but it's extremely
rare any of them have ever said a word about them. I think being gay and having a family is seen as unsexy, which doesn't bother me, but at some point you just decide you don't want to bore people with your life story. Do you know how many times the topic of children has come up here and the most common response has been "Yuck, I hate kids"? Lots.

 

[rareboy]

Do cats count?

 

[freefall]

I got such negative feedback when posting about my children that I stopped saying anything.

Do you know how many times the topic of children has come up here and the most common response has been "Yuck, I hate kids"? Lots.

I admit I don't like kids but your stories are always reveries to my soul. Besides, what matters are the feelings of people with kids and not the others. I'm really annoyed (and sorry) that some people just couldn't keep their views to themselves and be happy for other people's happiness no matter what the source is. This is why we aren't allowed to have nice things.

 

[oakpope]

Please, Sixthson, flood us with your family's stories. I love them so much ! Being gay doesn't mean we automatically hate children ! When younger I thought it was impossible, and so locked my heart on the subject. But now, mainly via YouTube, I see I was so wrong. Gay families are amazing and a pleasure to watch (like Matt Dallas, his husband Blue and their child Crow, their videos brighten my days always).

 

[fallinlove]

I am, but I got such negative feedback when posting about my children that I stopped saying anything.

There are married (to women) men here who have children and there are men here with ex wives with children, but it's extremely
rare any of them have ever said a word about them. I think being gay and having a family is seen as unsexy, which doesn't bother me, but at some point you just decide you don't want to bore people with your life story. Do you know how many times the topic of children has come up here and the most common response has been "Yuck, I hate kids"? Lots.

Really? Where I'm from I know tons of gay people who are married to other men and have kids. Most of them actually have twins and they did it through surrogacy. Many also have kids through women who never got married.

It's actually becoming more and more common in big cities. Although it's quite rare in Europe still.

The cost to gave kids via surrogacy is insanely high.

I am surprised it's never spoken about here.

 

[wundersteve]

I do not have children. I wish that I did. I am 47. I am in agony, and I have been for many years. I always assumed I would have children, despite my attraction to men. This is a huge issue. I never imagined I would go through life without having children.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

I am, but I got such negative feedback when posting about my children that I stopped saying anything.

There are married (to women) men here who have children and there are men here with ex wives with children, but it's extremely
rare any of them have ever said a word about them. I think being gay and having a family is seen as unsexy, which doesn't bother me, but at some point you just decide you don't want to bore people with your life story. Do you know how many times the topic of children has come up here and the most common response has been "Yuck, I hate kids"? Lots.

Wow that's a shame. I think part of the repellent is kids are a reminder that we're living a non-traditional lifestyle. And some of it is just exaggerated, the same way guys will have this adverse reaction if you talk about vagina. Nobody is really THAT repulsed by it.

Anywho my guy and I have talked about kids, I'm in between the "I'm not ready" and "Is anyone ever really ready? Just dive in" stage. I don't have the typical American ego about wanting my child to have my DNA and surrogacy is expensive so we're probably going to adopt.

I personally think it's sexy when a guy is grown and responsible and his life isn't just about his own selfish pursuits.

 

[sixthson]

Wow that's a shame. I think part of the repellent is kids are a reminder that we're living a non-traditional lifestyle. And some of it is just exaggerated, the same way guys will have this adverse reaction if you talk about vagina. Nobody is really THAT repulsed by it.

Anywho my guy and I have talked about kids, I'm in between the "I'm not ready" and "Is anyone ever really ready? Just dive in" stage. I don't have the typical American ego about wanting my child to have my DNA and surrogacy is expensive so we're probably going to adopt.

I personally think it's sexy when a guy is grown and responsible and his life isn't just about his own selfish pursuits.

I'm surprised this thread has gotten 9 posts. Usually threads about children die a quick death unless it turns out to be an attack on how awful children are and the gay men who want a family. One JUBber even accused me of being self loathing because wanting a family was a "straight thing". You'll notice that even the JUBbers who have children rarely enter into a thread about them.

I never understood why it was so important to have a child who shared your DNA. Adoption is an incredibly wonderful thing. People will often say what a wonderful thing it is that you do for an adopted child. No, no, no and NO. A child is a gift beyond compare. I have always felt we were the blessed ones.

Surrogacy is very expensive. We didn't even consider it but not for financial reasons. Adoption is also expensive, sometimes outrageously so. It's can also be painful and a long process.

 

[sixthson]

Do cats count?

If you have kids, you can be sure that pets will follow. The best of all worlds.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

I never understood why it was so important to have a child who shared your DNA.

Ego. With a little bit of ignorance. American culture romanticizes procreation, not much thought goes into making babies outside of buying cutesy color-coordinated outfits, children are really just living, breathing accessories to a lot of people and an integral part of this is "It has to be MY child" my meaning not second-hand cuz who wants a second-hand kid?

Surrogacy is very expensive. We didn't even consider it but not for financial reasons. Adoption is also expensive, sometimes outrageously so. It's can also be painful and a long process.

Adoption is difficult but not impossible, one of my high school buddies and his wife just completed an adoption in October. Yeah it was a long process as well it should be, even with all the vetting and red tape there are lots of kids who end up in homes where thye're abused mentally, physically, sexually, used to peddle drugs, tortured, all the trappings that come along with someone having power over another person. The whole system, much like pretty much every-fucking-thing else in America needs some severe overhaul.