Applications

[Sevos-CT]

I'm finishing my college applications for undergrad next year, about to move on to scholarship apps, and I can't decide whether or not to put something about me being gay in the "additional information" section. I'm still in the closet, but I've come to a point where I'm comfortable enough (comparitively to how I was a few years ago) with my sexuality. So far my plan has been to come out in college, but probably not beforehand. (It's easier for me to make changes in new environments, same reason why I have to go to the library to really study). Anyhow, the issue that I've run into is that I'm honestly not sure if putting that information on paper would help me or hinder me. I don't mind so much letting the college know since I plan to come out once I choose one anyhow, but I'm worried that I may be discriminated against because of it. On the other hand, it may afford me an advantage as it would label me as a minority (making me, arguably, a more diverse student). I also worry that if I do put it on the application, I may be questioned about my orientation, and there is no real way I can "prove" that I am gay; no one even knows but me. Any advice?

 

[thermodynamics]

If you think you've got a good shot of getting into the school/applications without listing that you're "gay", then I'd leave it out. But if you think it would give you the slightest edge (that you need to get in/scholarship), well then I'd flip a coin.

 

[propserity]

First, I would find the college's anti-discrimination statement. Many schools state that they do not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation, while others hint at acceptance without saying it explicitly, others try to ignore the issue altogether, and others come right out and say that they do not endorse homosexuality and will punish you for coming out or advocating "sexual immorality." You should be able to find their statements on their websites or in recruitment brochures/viewbooks. Obviously, if the schools that you are looking at fall into the latter category, you shouldn't indicate that you're gay. (In fact, you might want to reconsider even going there in the first place.)

Second, if you do mention being gay, I seriously doubt they will contact you to interrogate you on the issue. This time last year I was looking at law schools, and I had signed up with a "candidate referral service," and included the fact that I'm gay. I had many schools contact me because of that (well, my "numbers" were strong too, but many of the mailings played up how great the schools were for gay people, or how strong their anti-discrimination policies were). None of them asked me to prove it; few people are actually going to claim to be gay if they're not (DADT and a possible wartime draft notwithstanding). Once I had been accepted at various schools, several admissions offices offered to put me into contact with LGBTQ groups as a way of helping me to decide which schools to attend; I would say that those discussions were helpful. But, I was approaching this process from a different place from what you are: I had been out to friends for about 5 years, and to my family for about 3, so I was much more comfortable with telling people I am gay.

Finally, personally, I would rather be discriminated against before I get to a school than to get to that school and find myself surrounded by bigots who were only interested in making my life hell. I'm not saying that we shouldn't fight for acceptance and for our rights, but when you are adjusting to being out and to being in a new environment with new expectations, it can help to find a warm, nurturing place to be. If a school jumps at accepting you or offering you a scholarship because you're gay, then chances are they will try to make your experience as positive as possible.

 

[ladygrey]

Well,

I didn't tell you this but....

I definatly enchanced my application by adding my sexual orgrientation. And I ended up with 28,000 dollars in scholarships.

Now, I have killer marks, amzaing involement outside of school, and I'm a very gifted writer...but

it certainly helped.

I mean, every school whats to say "hey, we love all people"

So it's a cheap thing, but use what the Mother gave ya, eh?

 

[mocha_san]

I would definately put it. I recently applied to school and received quite a bit of money from scholarships. It depends on the school though, so make sure that they aren't discriminatory at all, since schools love to make sure people know they accept everyone.

 

[trawler69]

I think an important question to the above posts is did they get in because of or in spite of being Gay? If it was because of being Gay that is in itself a form of discrimination. I think the advice to lookup their sexual wossname policy is a good place to start.

 

[Danugh]

If you want GLAAD sponsered scholarship to college you would have to state that you are a gay male.

 

[propserity]

I don't think I got in the schools I did "because of" OR "in spite of" being gay. I think some schools did see it as a "diversity factor" that was useful in targeting their marketing; perhaps it was even used as a tie-breaker. While I don't think that someone who is less qualified but happens to be gay should be admitted over someone who is more qualified but not gay, if two people are roughly equally-qualified, the life experience that CAN come from being gay (learning to deal with adversity, seeing many common aspects of society from a different viewpoint, being willing to discuss an uncomfortable and unpopular subject rationally and diplomatically, etc.) should be taken into account.

 

[luminum]

I thinkif you can use it well, then it's worth putting int here. Simply stating that you're gay means little, but if you can incorporate it into an essay--like how being gay gives you this perspective about such and such or how your struggle with your sexuality helped you learn something about yourself--or something akin to that, I think it will reflect well.

I wrote an essay about my coming out experience to my school since one of the prompts was to talk about a situation where you were courageous. My parents forced me to change it before I submitted it (I'm still so ashamed of that) but I did leave the part where I started a GSA at my highschool on there at the last minute.

So if your sexuality is related to somethign you've done or something you can write about, then it's worht putting on there, no matter what happens. Any school that would discriminate because of this wouldn't be supportive when you went there, so I would send it in to a college that can prove that it would be supportive.

 

[Sevos-CT]

Thanks for the feedback so far, guys.

All of the discrimination policies of the colleges that I'm appying to include sexual orientation, so I suppose I'm safe in that field. The only college that I'm hesitant about attending based on gay-friendliness would be Duke; the reviews that I found on it seemed to oscillate between homophobia and tolerance. It was ranked as a top 20 gay friendly college in a recent GLBT college resource book, but it has also been rated as one of the top homophobic schools in the country. Otherwise, the colleges that I'm applying to seem to have decent communities.

For those of you who did include your orientation in your applications, how did you do so? My only qualm with writing an essay about it would be that I'm still in the process of coming out, so I don't have much to write about. A lot of what I've been through is rather personal, as well. I was leaning more towards the insertion of a small line in the additional information box.

As for the scholarships, the issue that I had with those was my still being in the closet. If I were to apply to some gay-only ones, I'd once again be worried that they'd doubt me. Either that or the fact that my activity in the gay community at my school is nonexistant. Do you think it would be necessary for me to come out prior to any possible interviews required by such scholarships, assuming I'm contacted?

Again, thanks for the feedback, it's appreciated.

 

[luminum]

I think that scholarships definitely want to promote someone who has already come out, since it usually means that they're promoting the ideals of the LGBT community (to live without shame and challenge others).

But for both the scholarships and the applications, being int he closet is also an important perspective that, if you're creative enough, you can spin into something compelling and interesting.

Like things you could explore are...

Why are you in the closet? Will you be out of the closet in college? If yes, why? If not, why? (That's a really interesting thing to explore.) Why do you think people are in the closet? What would make it easier for you or others to come out? What are you looking for in a college based on your closeted experience?

These are all ways to use your closeted perspective and explore yourself and what you want in life and convey that to a scholarship or an admissions essay.

 

[dunno260]

I don't know if the wrong person comes across it, you can really get punished. Anti-discrimination stuff is pretty light, its very hard to sue a school for discrimination even if they do. It doesn't matter what the official policy is (though if they have a non-discrimination policy, I would only consider it a plus).

I went to a private college prep school. Virtually everyone there was a very good students (had a few get in because of rich parents, but its like that at a lot of places). All of the minority students had an advantage in in the admission process (except for the Indians and Asians). We all knew it existed and it was the way things were. My roommate Freshmen year of college had lower overall scores than I did (SAT and GPA), had gone to a public high school, and got into several schools I was rejected from. He was also black. He was a smart guy, great guy too, but my scores were better enough that objectively I should have gotten into the schools he got into as well. Ultimately, we both followed the best scholarships to the college we both attended though, so I am not sure if it really mattered (well I would have gone to one of the schools he was accepted into no matter what the financial aid looked like).

Really, I think if you work in well enough so thats its a meaningful part of who you are, then I would do it. But if your just going to add "by the way, I'm gay" then I wouldn't do it. Straight people don't do that. But if you can use it to show its been something you have struggled with, had to deal with, whatever, then I would do it.

I didn't write an essay on my sexuality because I wasn't ready to do so, and I think it would have made for a very crappy essay. At that time, and somewhat so right now it would just be me moaning about how bad life is being gay and why wasn't the guy I fell in love with gay.


As for being out for a gay scholarship, I don't know at all. I would think that you wouldn't have to be. I would apply for them regardless, though if you do get one or more of them, I imagine the parents are going to find out, and that would be a pretty bad way of coming out to them.