Are ONLY women fluid with their sexuality?

[CShields]

I've always assumed that because most women are fluid with their sexuality and will gladly experiment or have a full on sexual and/or romantic relationship with another woman---the same could easily said for men. Men MUST be the same way, and yeah obviously some of that was wishful thinking...

But then I read somewhere that men and women have different brains, or different wiring. I assumed all this time it was just social conditioning that set men and women apart (and maybe to some extent that's still true). So if this is the case, does that mean sexuality among most men really IS black and white? Straight men are strictly straight and will never have a sexual thought about another man ever and gay men are strictly gay and will never have a sexual thought about a woman ever...unless they're bisexual? (If you're one of those people who thinks bisexuals don't exist, eww go away! You're clearly too ignorant to offer anything worth reading to this discussion ).

(And I expect I'll get many self righteous lectures from people here about wanting a to get with a 'straight guy', sure it's a fantasy but I assure you I don't actively pursue straight men and have no plans too)

 

[Rolyo85]

Women are not more fluid. There's no such thing as sexual fluidity. Your sexuality is somewhere on the spectrum and that's that. The only fluid thing is your awareness of it.

And in heteronormative culture, it's simply more acceptable for women to experiment, because men have to be all manly and shit.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

Women are not more fluid. There's no such thing as sexual fluidity. Your sexuality is somewhere on the spectrum and that's that. The only fluid thing is your awareness of it.

And in heteronormative culture, it's simply more acceptable for women to experiment, because men have to be all manly and shit.

I disagree. That's all I'll say

 

[medic1]

Is this not in the wrong thread?

As to your question: No.

 

[TX-Beau]

Yeah, "most" women are straight, it's only in straight porn that "most" women experiment.

Certainly plenty of straight men wish that were true.

Lots and Lots of gay men like to play fast and loose with the definition of straight. For obvious reasons. But consider, even if there is a "spectrum" that doesn't means that all people are evenly distributed across it. Most people are in fact straight, that's just obvious.

BUT BUT BUT I sucked a straight cock once - so the fuck what, there are tens of thousand you didn't suck.

 

[andy12]

I wrote a free book specifically on the sexual fluidity of males. In ancient Greece and Rome (but elsewhere too), men had sex with other men. Not 3% of men, not 5%, but a much larger number. They weren't merely tolerant of the few people who were same-sex oriented but the culture itself was oriented in that manner. No polls are available, but we know that of the first twenty Roman emperors, eighteen (or 90%) were reported to have had sex with other men. Other cultures around the world reported similar experiences between men. So what happened that 95% of men would say they're exclusively heterosexual now? Christianity. Same-sex was forbidden starting in the 300's and almost everyone is raised to feel that same-sex sex is gross or for just effeminate men.

Think of how uncomfortable most men are wearing speedos at least here in America. Well, in Europe when I was growing up, everyone was wearing them so no big deal. Sexuality is just like speedos: It's just social pressure and expectations. Innate sexual orientation, my ass.

 

[Rolyo85]

Right, so we can all just turn straight by force of will?

 

[mightbe]

Right, so we can all just turn straight by force of will?

Uh no? That's not what was said. Sexual fluidity isn't about changing orientation.

Imagine a guy who's a 5 on the Kinsey scale; we'll say he identifies as gay. He will have some attractions toward the opposite sex, but are mostly interested in sex with people of the same. That said, it could be that for a year, a majority of that person's sexual encounters are with women, while the next year that person has sex almost exclusively with men. Did the orientation change? No, of course not. Did their sexuality change? Yes, when using "sexuality" as a term roughly equivalent with [sexual] "behavior". Thus, "sexual fluidity" would describe behaviors seemingly contradictory to that person's sexual identity (though it could be argued that if he's had that much sex with women he should rethink that), but not to their orientation.

Of course, some 3s and 4s might say that they go through periods where one sex is more attractive than the other, and that they almost exclusively have sex with that (doesn't matter which). Alternatively, some will report little or no preference for one or the other, though their sexual history may indicate that the sexes of their partners were not equally distributed. That doesn't make them any more gay or straight; sexuality is just a word that describes behavior, not the innate orientation.

You can't choose who you love.

 

[andy12]

Right, so we can all just turn straight by force of will?

Not necessarily.

My book is mostly about how most straight men cannot have been born straight. This has to be the case if we see that in the ancient world, most men it would appear had no(ne of our*) qualms about same-sex sex. Genes/hormones/whatever do not change in a few centuries. Culture can and did. That culture "makes" people straight does not mean that straight men can by force of will change their sexual habits. It does mean that for "straight" men who are already open-minded or curious, informing them that they're not really born straight could perhaps lead to a greater incidence same-sex sex.

Where does that leave the gays or homosexuality? Well, the problem is that there is no one thing called homosexuality. If you just browse the table of contents of Homosexualities by Stephen O. Murray, you'll see that there have been multiple types of homosexualities, plural. In some cultures, you had relationships between men of same rank or males of a different, both masculine though. In North America, you had berdaches who were feminine men used like women; the top in this relationship wasn't considered different from other males. Under the modern nomenclature, all of these people would be considered "homosexual" now. So... can some of these people change? Well, maybe.

I've never understood how some gay men can have sex with dozens or hundreds of men of varying quality, yet if a vagina is attached, "Eww, no thanks." Really, that's the deal breaker? A lot of gay men are effeminate and end up with other effeminate gay men... but if there's a vagina attached, "Eww, no thanks." Those in stable relationships (gay and straight): would you ditch your partner if they magically sprouted genitalia contrary to their biological sex all the sudden? So how much of homosexual exclusivity is due to the hetero-majority's bigotry that segregates gays, for example?

*There were sexual taboos in Rome. A freeman being penetrated was looked down upon, although no doubt many did it.

 

[CShields]

I identify as gay, but I do recall having some attraction to a couple of women when I was very young. My sisters were obsessed with the Spice Girls and would watch all their concerts on TV and music videos and I'd tag along and watch with them. I remember Ginger Spice lying on the ground during a concert and doing some kind of snow angel thing and I remember feeling aroused by that, including when they did some song called 'Naked' (I think that's what it's called? Can't remember). I also remember having an attraction to Britney Spears. But at the same time...I remember being attracted to guys too and even had a massive crush on Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid. I also had a raging crush on Freddie Prinze Jr too. But as I got older I simply and strictly seemed only be attracted to men. I can recognize when a woman's attractive of course though, and I think I still have some of those opposite sex attractions (though they're small), like for instance I find both Jennifer Morrison and Lana Parilla from Once Upon A Time down right hot. I don't know, sexuality is weird. *shrugs*

 

[TX-Beau]

Hey, there's a discussion of this over in hot topics, which is probably a better forum for abstract discussions of sexuality in general. Trust me, this is a heated topic.

I used to have sex with women because I found men attractive - yup, weird.