Are Straight Men Automatically Sexier Than Gay Men?

[mcbrion]

Life must be led according to one's consciousness. Ironically, this is not the image I had intended, but I can't see how to remove it, so it'll have to stay. Not meant for Rocky; it was an image I used about DT.

 

[Rocky]

Again, when you ask people for comment in public, don't complain when you get what you asked for.

Where am I complaining??? I keep seeing this mantra repeated in this thread, as if you think I'm complaining. You just want me to complain.

Neurotic behavior defends itself in some classic ways, in order of escalation:

I'm saying it's alright to lust after straight guys all you want, without feeling like you're practicing internalized homophobia, and I'M the neurotic?!

You want to be a woman, not because you are TG and your heart is telling you that you're a woman; but because you want straight men to want you.

You're wrong. That's not what I said. I don't want to be a woman. I said I wouldn't have minded being a woman if I had been born one.

I am not traipsing around all day longing to be a woman so straight men could come after me. At least, not most of the time.

Why do you want straight men to want you? Because straight men are attractive and gay men aren't.

I said a lot of gay men I've met aren't as attractive as straight guys, not all of them. But still.

But you aren't wishing HOT men were bi so you could fuck them, you want to be wanted by STRAIGHT men, who only want women, who would cease to be attractive if they ever wanted you.

That's not true. I never said they become automatically unattractive. Although, they might lose a few points, but I'll take less points if it means they want me.

You are breezing around pretending it's just a thing, but it isn't - it's an implicit admission that you don't find yourself attractive, you don't want to be who you are, and are fixated by something you can't ever have because you have accepted in your mind that gay men are lesser.

True, I don't find myself that attractive that much anymore. True, there has been a part of me that's not found the gay part of me attractive.

But this is the curse.

It isn't that I can't find gay attractive at all. I have and can. It's just not a lot. A lot of gay guys act a certain way that I don't like.

People get pissy with you because that's an insult to all of us.

Well, that I can understand.

They want you to wake up an think about WHY you feel any of this, why aren't you wishing hot straight men were gay?

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. It depends on the fantasy. Straight men usually act different, and that's sexier.

To me, sexuality is largely a psychological game, not some PHEROMONE thing, where gay guys give off stronger pheromones than straight guys. Did you ever think that maybe I'm not attracted to the gay pheromone because of BIOLOGY? Maybe I'm built to lust after heterosexual male pheromones.

Look, I don't expect you to do anything but ignore

Surprise!

because you aren't going to listen until you're ready to hear it - no one who went through this was any different. Gay men that never did, are only going to hear the insult.

I'm terribly sorry if you're insulted. It's not your fault. It is my history of being around some gay guys who repelled me. But not all! I repeat - not all!

Here is the nub of it. You will never be happy with yourself until you resolve this issue. You won't hear that either I suspect, so if you take anything at all away from this thread, just start asking yourself why, why do you feel the way you feel?

I'm sure I have more work to do on myself. But I am absolutely not going to feign interest in guys if they don't do something for me. I personally do not need to have constant sex with all kinds of gay men to fulfill my life. I live happily - to a degree - more in the world of fantasy.

But this acting like straight men are typically not desired by gay men.... what WORLD are you living in? Look at the threads around this forum. People making fake porn out of straight wrestling stars, actors, politicians, you name it. I myself contributed a damn Dan Aykroyd thread. Gay men simply love lusting after straight men, and if this isn't obvious, I don't know how to make you see it. True, they may make fakes and such where the sex involves gay sex, but that still doesn't change the fact that they're still fantasizing about heterosexual men.

I find lusting after heterosexual men perfectly healthy, and if there's something about heterosexual men that is better than gay men, I wanted to hear about it.

But you guys just act all insulted and say I'm practicing internalized homophobia.

I am insulted that you think something's wrong with me.

 

[TX-Beau]

Where am I complaining??? I keep seeing this mantra repeated in this thread, as if you think I'm complaining. You just want me to complain.



I'm saying it's alright to lust after straight guys all you want, without feeling like you're practicing internalized homophobia, and I'M the neurotic?!



You're wrong. That's not what I said. I don't want to be a woman. I said I wouldn't have minded being a woman if I had been born one.

I am not traipsing around all day longing to be a woman so straight men could come after me. At least, not most of the time.



I said a lot of gay men I've met aren't as attractive as straight guys, not all of them. But still.



That's not true. I never said they become automatically unattractive. Although, they might lose a few points, but I'll take less points if it means they want me.



True, I don't find myself that attractive that much anymore. True, there has been a part of me that's not found the gay part of me attractive.

But this is the curse.

It isn't that I can't find gay attractive at all. I have and can. It's just not a lot. A lot of gay guys act a certain way that I don't like.



Well, that I can understand.



Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. It depends on the fantasy. Straight men usually act different, and that's sexier.

To me, sexuality is largely a psychological game, not some PHEROMONE thing, where gay guys give off stronger pheromones than straight guys. Did you ever think that maybe I'm not attracted to the gay pheromone because of BIOLOGY? Maybe I'm built to lust after heterosexual male pheromones.



Surprise!



I'm terribly sorry if you're insulted. It's not your fault. It is my history of being around some gay guys who repelled me. But not all! I repeat - not all!



I'm sure I have more work to do on myself. But I am absolutely not going to feign interest in guys if they don't do something for me. I personally do not need to have constant sex with all kinds of gay men to fulfill my life. I live happily - to a degree - more in the world of fantasy.

But this acting like straight men are typically not desired by gay men.... what WORLD are you living in? Look at the threads around this forum. People making fake porn out of straight wrestling stars, actors, politicians, you name it. I myself contributed a damn Dan Aykroyd thread. Gay men simply love lusting after straight men, and if this isn't obvious, I don't know how to make you see it. True, they may make fakes and such where the sex involves gay sex, but that still doesn't change the fact that they're still fantasizing about heterosexual men.

I find lusting after heterosexual men perfectly healthy, and if there's something about heterosexual men that is better than gay men, I wanted to hear about it.

But you guys just act all insulted and say I'm practicing internalized homophobia.

I am insulted that you think something's wrong with me.

If all of this is just silliness, why are you reacting this way?

 

[Rocky]

If all of this is just silliness, why are you reacting this way?

Reacting what way?

What are you seeing? Give me your psychoanalysis on me.

 

[TX-Beau]

No, you will go back a re-read, or you won't. There is no point in further belaboring the issue. There are a whole lot of gay men who have this issue, and none of us got over it until we were ready to look at it, you want to know why this is a thing in the gay community? The answer is above, when you want to think about that, come find me.

 

[mcbrion]

Reacting what way?

What are you seeing? Give me your psychoanalysis on me.

Rocky, I'm chiming in here - just with a question. A matter of curiosity.

Have you ever been to San Francisco/the Castro district?

 

[Rocky]

Rocky, I'm chiming in here - just with a question. A matter of curiosity.

Have you ever been to San Francisco/the Castro district?

I have not. I'd like to.

 

[mcbrion]

Well, which part of the country do you live in now?

 

[Rocky]

Well, which part of the country do you live in now?

East Coast. South side. Far away from California.

 

[KaraBulut]

Reacting what way?

What are you seeing? Give me your psychoanalysis on me.

This is a support forum where advice is offered. You don't have to take the advice. But you should read and think about it. If you read through some of what has been said, you're arguing with the feedback that you've been given.

 

[jumpup2]

I consider myself straight, but curious only with a good straight friend. (We've only kiss experimented.) I find some guys attractive and sexy even. I know it's judgmental to say, but some women and men are attractive to me. I think it's very subjective, but some people are just really hot to me.

 

[Rocky]

I consider myself straight, but curious only with a good straight friend. (We've only kiss experimented.) I find some guys attractive and sexy even. I know it's judgmental to say, but some women and men are attractive to me. I think it's very subjective, but some people are just really hot to me.

I find some women sexually exciting. I discovered this after years of believing I was 100% gay.

As I said in an earlier post in this thread, I'm not so sure anymore that there's really such a thing as strictly gay. I feel very "post-gay" as a person. If that's the right description to call it.

I don't really want my sexuality, my sexual orientation, to define who I am anymore. Hence, I don't want to become strictly "one of the gays."

Sandra Bernhard, who I made a thread about, is kinda like this, too. She doesn't really believe in being a "lesbian" because she also sometimes likes men.

"Bisexual" isn't really an accurate description of me, either, but I've told a few people I was bi. But that makes it seem like I'd wanna be with lots of women, and that's not true.

I think a lot of "straight" men out there have gay impulses within them, too. I certainly do believe there are many straight men who'd do gay sexual activity.

I resent the gay label. I resent it because everyone thinks it's something you're born as, that you've gotta only like your own sex for eternity, etc.

I don't think I have some kind of problem. It's taken me awhile to get to this place, and I feel fine with it.

I just feel like the rest of the world hasn't caught up. I'm not expecting it to anytime soon.

 

[luckynumbah7]

Your definition seems off, bisexual doesn't actually include a definition of how often you're attracted - just that you are attracted. While a lot of largely-one-direction-oriented people don't count vague/little crushes or casual one-offs, you do. It's odd because when I count them, the logical term would be bisexual. Which you're refusing to own, much like you disavow gay. Could it be because both of those terms are meant to acknowledging homo behavior in the definition to the public-at-large?

I'm quoting here, "I don't really want my sexuality, my sexual orientation, to define who I am anymore. Hence, I don't want to become strictly "one of the gays." It looks like you've disavowed everything before you've even tried self-acceptance. I mean, become? Dafuq did you think you were doing earlier before you had that feminine crush, out of curiosity? It seems you're using the presence of a vagina as a get out of jail free card - it's not attractive. I promise no one with a cunt and self-esteem is going to be attracted to that, no matter what gender or sexuality combo they are.

Counterargument; there's a disturbing tendency for people to decide they 'don't need to label themselves' when that label has a negative connotation. This seems especially true for sexuality since it's deliberately-done behavior with an unchosen mental state. They don't like gay/bi/pan/what-have-ya because it isn't straight - there's nothing left with a positive connotation that includes everyone that they're attracted to so they choose nothing.

That's not a new, enlightened view - that's running. It's old, it's horribly insulting and it's obvious.

 

[luckynumbah7]

*I do feel the need to point out that grudgingly telling someone you're bi is not ownership. I'm certain grudging admissions don't count as an arrow towards self-acceptance, is the thing.

 

[Rocky]

Your definition seems off, bisexual doesn't actually include a definition of how often you're attracted - just that you are attracted. While a lot of largely-one-direction-oriented people don't count vague/little crushes or casual one-offs, you do. It's odd because when I count them, the logical term would be bisexual. Which you're refusing to own, much like you disavow gay. Could it be because both of those terms are meant to acknowledging homo behavior in the definition to the public-at-large?

I'm quoting here, "I don't really want my sexuality, my sexual orientation, to define who I am anymore. Hence, I don't want to become strictly "one of the gays." It looks like you've disavowed everything before you've even tried self-acceptance. I mean, become? Dafuq did you think you were doing earlier before you had that feminine crush, out of curiosity? It seems you're using the presence of a vagina as a get out of jail free card - it's not attractive. I promise no one with a cunt and self-esteem is going to be attracted to that, no matter what gender or sexuality combo they are.

Counterargument; there's a disturbing tendency for people to decide they 'don't need to label themselves' when that label has a negative connotation. This seems especially true for sexuality since it's deliberately-done behavior with an unchosen mental state. They don't like gay/bi/pan/what-have-ya because it isn't straight - there's nothing left with a positive connotation that includes everyone that they're attracted to so they choose nothing.

That's not a new, enlightened view - that's running. It's old, it's horribly insulting and it's obvious.

Once upon a time, when I was very young, I realized I had crushes on guys and that I preferred to look at their naked bodies. I took on the "gay" label because that's what it appeared to be. If you liked your own kind, you were gay. That's what the world said.

I don't have "feminine crushes." I just sometimes want to fuck a pussy. Sometimes I think it would be nice to find a woman, fuck her pussy, have kids, start a family, live a normal life.

My body is not incapable of having sex with a woman. My mind doesn't always want to, but that's just my mind at times.

It has nothing to do with being ashamed of being gay or bisexual. I've been a proud homosexual for many years. I've marched in gay pride parades.

I haven't liked a lot of the men I've dated, though. In fact, I was in a serious, long term relationship for many years with a guy. I wore a wedding ring and considered him my husband.

I still love men. I still love men's bodies. I still prefer them over women.

But if the right woman came along and enticed me enough, I might go "heterosexual" in a way. Or bisexual-heterosexual-homosexual, whatever!

Gay people, men and women, are all (well, most) equipped to have sex with the opposite sex. If a gay person wants to try sex with the opposite sex, they should be allowed to, provided, of course, that they're not cheating on somebody (unless that person doesn't care).

It's not meant to be insulting. And the truth is - it happens all the time with gay people. Especially lesbians, it seems. Did you ever see "Chasing Amy"?

Some people don't believe in labels. I think that's fine. I think it's progressive.

I think everybody has the potential to be bisexual. I don't really like the word "bisexual" for me because I don't want every woman out there thinking I'd be into them. But I might be into some.

I don't really like the word "gay" because then it's saying I have to only be with men, and if I want to be with a woman, I'm supposedly living a lie.

I think people shouldn't worry about labels.

Why limit your possibilities to just one way of being?

I think everybody's born with the possibility of being into (attracted to) both sexes. EVERYBODY. I think that's where homophobia comes from, in fact. Not that these people are secretly homosexual or hate homosexuals - I think they're scared of their own same sex attractions, even if they're also attracted to the opposite sex. I think everybody has it in them to like either gender.

Anyway, I really don't mind being called gay. It is the orientation I strongly feel attracted to. But if I want to be with a woman, I'm having a non-gay moment. And honestly, I've never been with a woman yet, so I don't even know how it would really go. I might not like it. I might like it a lot more than I imagined, though. We'll see.

I feel at this time that I'm open to dating either gender. I'd prefer a man, but a woman may not be bad. I guess that would be bisexual - I just don't really like that label at all, though, because to me it sounds like I'm attracted to all sorts of women and all sorts of men. I'm not.

Again, it's not meant to be insulting. If you're insulted, that's your issue. My issue is I just wanna live my life the way I wanna live my life. I wanna be me, whatever that is.

 

[Telstra]

maybe straight men are less demanding in terms of sex with another man?
Where gay men want all things like rimming, ass licking, fingering, kissing, fucking ... etc

 

[PalacePaul]

yeah, most probably straight guys only want their dick sucked. That would save the other guy a lot of work

 

[Rocky]

maybe straight men are less demanding in terms of sex with another man?
Where gay men want all things like rimming, ass licking, fingering, kissing, fucking ... etc

That’s true, too.

 

[KaraBulut]

yeah, most probably straight guys only want their dick sucked. That would save the other guy a lot of work

Or straight men are allowed to get away with not being fully engaged when they "let a gay guy blow them".

 

[jumpup2]

Since I consider myself straight/curious and have never had sex with a man I may not be qualified, When I'm around gay men and boys I flirt and flex more than I do with women. It may just be me.