Are there psychological explanations for our fetishes?

[StlKj]

What we are attracted to in a relationship is more of a pattern behavior than a fetish. People often do feel attracted to others in their adult lives based on unresolved issues they may have had from growing up, but then, many choose mates similar in some ways to their parents even when the relationship with them was drama-free. Those individuals are often just attracted more to the healthier aspects of their familial relationships, as opposed to being drawn more to the dysfunctional qualities which we in adulthood are often still trying to heal or complete.

A fetish is more of a sexual desire/compulsion for one particular thing, whether it be an act, an object, or a body part. You might want to start your reading with this page from wikipedia.org:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fetishism.

 

[gsdx]

Desiring older men is not a fetish. It is a preference.

Squirting whipped cream on your crotch and masturbating is a fetish. Being turned on by a pair of size 14 feet is a fetish. Having a spontaneous orgasm whilst looking at unshaved armpits is a fetish.

Most fetishes come from past experiences and past experimentation. Either something happened that you enjoyed or you thought of something which might feel good and you tried it and enjoyed it.

Trying to figure out the psychology behind a 'bubble butt' fetish is just as difficult as trying to figure out the psychology behind cannibalism or necrophilia or murder for sexual pleasure.

 

[Horschallen]

You are doing just fine.

 

[roguehunter]

i love older men, not because of any other reason then thats who i am attracted too. i dont like guys younger then 45, i cant say why its just me. i wouldnt get hung up on the why's, id rather enjoy time with someone i love, then be with someone just because people dont think its "normal".

 

[Andreus]

im sure that there are psychological explanations for EVERYTHING we do

doesnt mean that they are bad or unhealthy in anyway

we are creatures of our environment

whats wrong with that?

 

[metta]

I have always found it interesting that most people with tattoos and piercings (not including ears) have been sexually abused. I wonder what the explaination for that would be.

 

[timnmostud]

Like most thing sexual it is almost futile to try to find an absolute answer to any of this. There may be some connections that appear to be true, when in reality, we really don't really understand that much about human sexuality. Fetishes, though, are interesting. I have known some people who have some that were clearly connected to something they were exposed to early in their sexual development. Then it sort of became connected to sexual pleasure to them. GSDX said it pretty well. So who relly knows? And in the long run, does it really matter? The best we can do it try to find someone accepting of us and our quirks and someone who's quirks we can be comfortable with. The rest of it is really no one's business outside of that relationship.

 

[G-Lexington]

Unless your fetish is either damaging, or else extremely difficult to fulfill, I don't see the point in attempting to find the "root cause" of it. People don't seem compelled to explore why some people like horror films or romance novels or Italian food. They're just allowed to enjoy what they enjoy.

I'm gay. Maybe it's because I hate my mother (I don't) or I was abused by a female growing up (I wasn't) or what have you. But really, who cares? Can't I just fuck guys?

Lex

 

[Soilwork]

Wow.

you're even trying to make SEX boring.

Just enjoy it. Who cares why you do?

 

[Shepherd 2]

You can always guess that there is a psychologist who would lilke to analyze. But the first post hit it on the button. It is not a fetish for a young person to have a relationship with an older man.

 

[timnmostud]

Wow.

you're even trying to make SEX boring.

Just enjoy it. Who cares why you do?

Exactly! Why is really of little importance. It is what it is and that is pretty much that. Even knowing why would change nothing. I don't know why I like a lot of things that are not sexually related and I am no more interested in figuring out why I like green anymore than spending time trying to figure out why I like men!