Are These Kind Of Bisexuals Doomed For Life?

[DennisThePennis]

How are they "settling for less" if they only fall in love with one gender?

Having crappy sex, cuz they are sexually more attracted to the other gender that they love.

 

[Piquechampion]

It's not crappy sex to them since they're having it with someone who they love.

Maybe it´s an illusion, society influenced, vision of LOVE that they have.

Dunno, all this guys who say that they jack off only to gay porn, and love sex with men, but then say that they only fall in love for women, seem to me that they are trying to fit in the mold of what society expects and/or dictates.

For example, I bet that in the Ancient Greece, many of the guys actually DID liked sex and loved their wives (hetero men), but as their society dictated that sex with their wives was only for procreation, and love was for the young boys, I bet they never did expressed their feelings openly...

Or without changing genders, like in the 18th century France, its was unfashionable (thus dictated by society) to actually love one´s wife, love was for the mistresses... those who did expressed love and faithfulness for thier wives became the ridicule of society...

dunno, just food for thought

 

[Kulindahr]

16 variaties!?

I better get going if I ever hope to collect 'em all.

BTW, I love the screen name -- how'd you choose it?

 

[Kulindahr]

dunno, just food for thought

Good "food", too.

Munch on this one:

when I want to stick my dick into something, it's either mouth or vagina. When I want my mouth on something, it's a penis or male body.

As I put it bluntly to a straight guy in a gay bar (with his gf), "My dick likes pussy but my mouth likes dick".

 

[dizzzy]

This is a great thread seeing as I can relate to option 2. I don't know if sexually I'm more attratced to guys. I'd say about even. Maybe a slight edge to guys.

I can get turned on by both with ease. But talking purely sexual, while a woman can get me hard and very much turned on, I do find when I am sexually into a guy I'm like ready to explode LOL.

But from an emotinal point I cannot click with a guy at all. It just doesn't feel right where as with women it does.

 

[Frafilippolippi]

I'm in a committed relationship with a woman and depending on how our sex life is going, the my sexual desire for men increases or decreases. So, when things are going great, my desire for men outside of our relationship is lessened, but unfortunately when things are not going well, my drive for gay sex increases, only complicating matters. Life is funny...

 

[Telstra]

In one of my threads I mentioned 16 variaties of bisexualities. Two of them seem pretty problematic:

1. Emotionally/romantically more attracted to men and sexually more attracted to women.
2. Emotionally/romantically more attracted to women and sexually more attracted to men.

Three people posted in that thread that they fit these categories and recently I received a pm about this subject from a guy who wrote me he had the same. He is confused and went to therapy to sort this all out. The problem with this is that with one gender you miss romantic feelings and emotional attachment and you miss the sexual excitement with the other gender. What do one do in these situations?

I believe that for every person there is a perfect matching significant other. I think it starts with being truly head over heels in love with someone. You will appreciate sex more with someone you truly love. I know this is easier said than done. Sexual needs are very important as well. Is there anyone in the same situation? How do you handle yourself in these situations? Does someone else has other useful suggestions?

Sexuality is complex. Discuss.

interesting ...

 

[Frafilippolippi]

Bearded Woof - that's always good to hear so I don't feel quite so lonely in my situation. Sometimes I feel like I have managed to get myself into the best situation in the world, and other days I do feel like I'm in a problem with no solution.

 

[ELAINE]

When you're in love with the person, it makes a big difference. I think if you are with a guy and want the sex to be as good as it is when your with a woman, and visa versa, you'll need to be honest and open with them about what you want and like, and you're partner would also have to be willing to please you the way you like too. There are some things that a man will do to a man but a woman may not be comfortable doing certain things to a man and so the man feels unsatisfied. If the man is used to being pleasured anally, then hopefully his woman can please him in that way too.

 

[timex752]

I'm in a committed relationship with a woman and depending on how our sex life is going, the my sexual desire for men increases or decreases. So, when things are going great, my desire for men outside of our relationship is lessened, but unfortunately when things are not going well, my drive for gay sex increases, only complicating matters. Life is funny...

exact same thing here. it's hilarious

 

[ed_g1978]

I'm in somewhat of a similar situation - but I do think it's more complex than a simple, one sentence label can convey.

I'm currently married to a woman (who knows I'm bi and who let me play around before we got married - as I let her). I love her to death. We have a wonderful relationship, we're partners in everything that we do, and we have a good sex life with each other. At the same time, I just fell into this relationship. Prior to it I had planned to date men exclusively for awhile. I had just finished a not great relationship with a woman and thought I'd take a break for a bit. It just so happens that during this period I developed a friendship with my current wife and it blossomed from there - something that I wouldn't change, no matter my cravings.

Onto the topic, I love my wife and we have good sex. But I miss dick. I miss it a lot. When I look at porn I'm pretty much always looking at the guys and I seek out porn with guys that I find attractive, more than women I find attractive. I'm not really sexually attracted to any other women, just my wife. But I'm sexually attracted to a lot of guys. I don't want a relationship with them, just the sex. I have a feeling, though, that were I in a relationship with a guy, the situation would be reversed. Overall I'd say I'm more romantically attracted to women and sexually attracted to guys (though not by a big margin), but in some ways that could also be dictated by the kind of relationship that I'm in now. If I'm getting more pussy, I want dick. If I were getting more dick, I would want pussy. I'm not sure it's because of an inherent division within me, maybe more my circumstances dictating my feelings.

Look, I know not all guys want to hear a bunch of whiny "bi's" complaining about how hard it is, but it is. At the same time, it's not really that much harder than someone who is gay or straight. I'm bi and I have a woman, but I want a man - I still have attractions outside of my relationship. It so happens that mine are of a gender different than that I'm married to. But straight guys typically continue to be attracted to other women and gay guys to other men. In some ways it's wanting what we can't have or the grass is greener... The unique thing for a bi guy is that most people don't understand our attraction and while we can be monogomous or cheating, just like gays or straights, when we are monogomous, we're missing something different than what we have - and in a way much more substantial than wanting a blond, bigger tits, or a bigger dick. It's rough missing out on essentially half of my sexuality, but for the time being I've learned to accept that aspect of my life in exchange for the marriage that I'm very, very happy with.

Anyway, for purposes of the discussion, that's my story. I've been a member here for a long time, just now planning to get a bit more involved. I think this is only my 2nd or 3rd post. I'm excited to be here and hopefully keep having some good conversation (and seeing some hot guys).

 

[954dude]

I can understand both variations, but no one in this world is doomed. There's a chance for everyone to find true happiness.