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Are they or aren't they?

F

freakazoid

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Hi, I'm young and I'm closetted. There's this guy that I really want to make a move on, but I don't want to risk blowing my cover for nothing in the probable event that he's not gay or interested. There have been very subtle references in the past, but I still don't know for sure. So, what do I do? I don't want to straight out ask him because not only might it blow my cover, but he might also be closetted which would mean that he might deny it. Help, I really really like this guy. Thanks in advance.
 
good luck, it seems like the coming out forum is a literal. It's for coming out use and not staying in use.

to answer you question, if you want to stay closeted, just be the guy's friend and see if you see any signs from there. at some point you're going to have to blow your cover (hopefully you will ;) ) but at least you'll do it after you trust him enough to tell him. but rest assured, if you do this, you will probably like most of us and be a gay guy in love with a straight guy and will have to sort out that heartache eventually too.
 
Thanks! :) It's not that I want to stay closeted per se, but coming out unnecessarily could cause a lot of problems with my family, and my uber conservative teachers and so forth. However, I would be willing to come out to this guy if there is a chance that something could happen.

I guess I'll have to wait for a bit and see how things turn out and whether I'll be ready.


Any more advice would be much appreciated as well though! :)
 
Jeez.

Why not just ask if he wants to get together to watch a game or grab a show or a bite. In a casual way.

And then be casual. Become friends who hang out together first.

Than blow him.
 
I don't think you should be thinking about hooking up/dating a guy right now. Work on coming out first because IF this guy is gay, what's next? are you expecting a one-nighter? Because if you're expecting a relationship, I don't think it's fair that you're still in the closet.
 
This question comes up all the time.

There is no magic answer, no gayometer that will tell you.

You or he will have to come out first. It's a risk you have to take. Or not.
 
Think about your question for a minute. You're closeted. You're trying to prevent anyone from knowing that you're gay and/or interested in any other guy...but you want to be able to tell if other guys are interested in you, even if they're closeted. Sorry - it don't work that way.

Lex
 
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