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Are Threesomes Fun With A Lover?

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I had a threesome once. It was awkward. The guy and his bf were both tops and played together, but when I went over there the bf just wanted to watch and when the guy and I got into it he kept clearing his throat. He finally got off watching me suck the guys cock and left us alone.

I'm sure people have had better experiences, but I wouldn't do a threesome with two people that were in a relationship. Much better to get two of your fuck buddies.
 
My friend and his BF have had one or two threesomes, but from what he told me, neither of them were that enjoyable. I don't recall why he said the first wasn't enjoyable, but he didn't like the second because the cute friend of his boyfriend was a smoker and it really bothered him.

I'd say that threesomes must work under a strong pretense of understanding. You both need to truly understand that the third person is just, well, sort of a sexual object. If one partner fears that the other actually wants this other person, then it won't work. Likewise, if one partner suggests the threesome because he actually wants the third party, then it's probably not a good idea to indulge.

The bottom line is to talk to your partner. Explain to him why you feel uncomfortable with the idea. Maybe he can reassure you, but if he ultimately can't, you have every right not to consent to the idea and vote it down. If he's worth anything in a relationship, then he'll respect your feelings and won't press the matter.
 
my advice... tell him why you aren't interested in having a threesome...

If one party in a relationship is pushing for an "open" style relationship... and the other isn't good for it... than you're going to have serious problem....

I have no idea how long you guys have been dating but I would suggest telling him why you're apprehensive and making it known that you are uneasy about the situation... because you have every right to feel jealous... honestly... he's you're boyfriend why share him?

just my 2 cents.
 
I guess I prefer to be the third person in a 3-way, but I had one boyfriend who was very much into picking up a 3rd party to have fun with us. I always seemed to get the better of the deal when this happened because the 3rd person always seemed to like me better than Peter.

I had another boyfriend (when I was very young) that I wanted to have 3-ways with, and he really didn't, and so that did not work out well at all. We only tried it once, I think, and then I realized that is was a mistake. Both of you must want it in order for it to work.
 
So tell me have you and your boyfriend ever had a threesome and what was it like?
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I'm old fashioned, I don't even like watching porn with threesomes in it, I doubt that I'd be into it unless the two guys I was with were people that I loved in some way and we weren't dating each other. If I had a bf, I'd not want to hear of it at all. But that's just me.
 
When my BF and I were thinking of having 3-ways, we had a serious discussion first.

We decided, since we were already familiar with our own bodies and how they worked together, that we would always make the 3-way about the guest. Cater to his wishes, let him be the first to enjoy the things that only three guys can do together. We also decided that if the guest seemed to prefer one of us over the other, it would be no big deal, it was supposed to be all about him anyway.

For a few years we had several threesomes, and (because of our agreed upon approach) we never had any issues or problems. We did have quite a bit of fun though. :-)
 
Threesomes are only fun if you and your lover are in a open relationship, and you're not the jealous type. I would NEVER do a threesome because I'm a jealous type and I'm in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend.
 
luminum said:
I'd say that threesomes must work under a strong pretense of understanding. You both need to truly understand that the third person is just, well, sort of a sexual object. If one partner fears that the other actually wants this other person, then it won't work. Likewise, if one partner suggests the threesome because he actually wants the third party, then it's probably not a good idea to indulge.
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Says it all right there. And is why me and my bf have not had a 3-some yet. We haven't discussed it beyond just the initial fantasy we've both had. Maybe some day. Maybe not. We'll see. ;)
 
I've been the third with a couple before. It was a lot of fun actually, but we had ground rules from the beginning. I always knew I was the guest and that they were the committed couple. Looking back, it was very important to have that understanding from the get-go. I found both of the guys very hot, although in different ways. The hardest part for them was finding thirds that they both were into, since they had fairly different types. I'm still fairly good friends with them, but we don't fool around anymore. It was just time for all of us to move on past the sexual relationship I guess.
 
I agree with everyone who has said that for a threesome to work both partners should want it and should agree on some basic rules in advance. Even then, the outcome may be surprising.

My one and only experience was about 20 years ago. The guy I was seeing really had no interest in being monogamous. I was crazy about him and was okay with him sleeping with other guys. I was the one with whom he spent quality time (dinners, movies, weekends at home, etc.) and we had sex twice a day when we were together. He felt guilty when he’d been out and asked me what I’d been doing and I’d say I had watched some show or read a book. So he thought the solution would be a threesome. He talked about it for days a continued to say I wasn’t interested.

Finally, he showed up at my place with another guy. We all talked, listened to music, had a few drinks and when it was time for bed I said I would fix up the spare room for our guest but my boyfriend insisted there was plenty of room in my bed for the three of us. Anyway, we wound up having sex. To my surprise, I had a great time. My boyfriend, on the other hand, became very jealous. He had probably imagined himself the center of attention. Instead, the third guy, who was a fuck buddy of his, was really into me. Even, after my bf got dressed and said he was going home, the other guy said he wanted to stay the night with me. Of course they both left.

That was the beginning of the end. The next day, my bf called me in a rage. We saw each other for a few more months but it was never the same. It didn’t help that the other guy called my bf and asked him for my phone number, which started another round of jealousy.

My conclusion from that experience was: never again!
 
drhladnjak,

I liked and agreed with what you had to say on this topic, especially true for my BF and me was this---

drhladnjak said:
The hardest part for them was finding thirds that they both were into, since they had fairly different types.
Click to expand...

I'm sure this could be a problem for many other couples too.
 
LiveLaughDream said:
...but im scared that i'll be jealous of the other man in the bedroom, or not have fun.
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This is reason enough not to do it.

Threesomes are not for everyone, nor every couple. They aren't for us, really, although we've done one at least once and a five-some once. The 5-some was more like a mini-orgy, so that's really a different ballgame altogether.

Anyway, the 3-some works if all 3 of you are clear about what is and is NOT happening. And, it works best if you consider it a physical thing only.

I'm not sure we'd ever do it again. It was fun once or twice, but we got it out of our system and have a been-there/done-that attitude about it.

Good luck. You give two compelling reasons not to do it (jealousy and not fun). I'd listen to your instincts on this one. Believe me, no one will think less of you for taking a pass on this one!
 
I had a threesome with a lover once. We broke up immediately afterwards.
 
I've had several with mine. You need tobe honest about the whole thing and if it's not working for all parties - it's time to renegotiate and do it quickly with a minimum of fuss. Luckily, we have lots of fun and there has never been a problem.
 
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