You're very qualified to post your opinion. Your desires are as valid and as real as any experience. Good for you for desiring to be versatile as it will give you opportunities to give and receive all the best pleasures that men's bodies can offer.
Receiving on your back, for your first time, will be an intense and amazing experience. Nothing is more submissive than to lay back, pull your legs back, and present your hole in a way that gives him complete control. You can't push onto the cock or run from it, you're at his mercy and you give him your trust. The connection is wonderful, you look into each other's eyes, you feel his hands holding your legs or caressing your ass or your cock. You can mix it up with your legs, pull them right back or they can go over his shoulders or wrap around his body to draw him closer to you. An amazingly intense part of the whole experience in this position, because of the angle of penetration, is the feeling of his shaft inside you as it strokes your prostate on each in-stroke, and it seems to feel really deep. You feel his lust and strength inside you and you feel complete. Missionary is a beautiful connection.
You're right to want to experience it first as the receiver, and then give it as the top, knowing what the receiver is feeling. In this way you'll grow into a passionate lover. When you have his legs pushed back, his willing hole raised and ready for your hard dick, you press and push at first gently then more firmly as he relaxes and dilates to accept your male strength inside him, your connection will be stronger for knowing what he is feeling.
You should stop saying that you have a desire to be fully gay, and simply accept and be happy that you are fully gay. You think it, have the desire and attraction to men, and not to women, you're gay. You don't need to have had sex to make it any more real. Good on you for being and accepting who you are and for what makes you happy.
Please keep us posted. I look forward to reading about your first experiences
You should stop saying that you have a desire to be fully gay, and simply accept and be happy that you are fully gay. You think it, have the desire and attraction to men, and not to women, you're gay. You don't need to have had sex to make it any more real. Good on you for being and accepting who you are and for what makes you happy.
Thanks to all that have responded to my crazy posts. I should respond to all and I try to because I appreciate all the input in this journey. Sometimes there is not as much interaction here but I am truly grateful for those that take their time to give input. Though it says I joined here in 2022, it’s been longer than that. I joined a number of years ago and did not post for awhile. It took me a good while to get the nerve to post pics. That in itself was a bit liberating. Though I delegated my account and lost all those pics. Dang it. I tried to run from it for awhile but I found myself coming back and rejoined and posted some new pics.
Yes I’ve thought about all of this forever, so I think I know what I want. I know I know what I want. It’s been crazy vivid in my mind from childhood probably early than it should’ve been. But, it’s as if I’ve already had the experience. I know that sounds crazy too. But, everything was in my mind and fantasies without ever talking to anyone about it or ever even seeing porn. I didn’t know what gay guys thought about or did. Nor did I think I was gay. But I still somehow knew the things I wanted. All in fantasy all of my fantasies were about cocks and eating cum and fucking and being fucked and kissing deeply.
I thought it was all taboo and thought something was wrong with me. And that was very young and all throughout elementary school, junior high and high school. It never went away it just got stronger. I never told anyone or even had any opportunity to share it with anyone. I wish I did . Lol. But when I finally watched porn, straight porn, I was looking at the man and fantasizing about him and not her. When I found only cock pics on the web I could not believe how it made me feel. And that was just pics. The more they looked like mine the more my mind just swirled, my stomach would get weak and my body would shiver and my mouth would get dry just thinking of sucking cock.
I didn’t think that was normal to feel like that. But I wanted it and so desired it. Then finding gay porn…I realized that everything that I’ve always fantasized about is everything gay men did. In a way I was surprised , but nothing surprised me really because it’s everything I’ve always wanted. What was surprising is that how can I want so deeply all of full sexual things that I knew nothing about. I was a kid. A kid shouldn’t know this stuff. No birds and bees were thought about, I was too young for the birds and bees when those desires were already dominating my thoughts.
Sorry, off base I guess, but when I found and watched gay porn it was the deepest emotional feeling I’ve ever imagined, just watching all of the things I’ve already yearned for for all those years was truly mind boggling and eye opening. I’m not sure how all of that can be so natural, yet I’ve never acted on it. Trust me, I’ve wanted to badly, but there has never been that opportunity in my world.
So, I have made progress in realizing what I want and making an effort with a few apps and a dating platform. But, nothing yet. One meet up with one guy that did not go anywhere, but I think it was a huge steppingstone. Maybe the next one will be even a bigger step towards finding that someone.
Sorry to be so long winded. But, your last statement that I quoted is something I have struggled with. Yes, I do desire to be fully gay. That is also a big step for me to finally admit it to myself and to be here talking about it. I am happy that I am finally crossing this bridge. It’s been a long time coming and the desires are real and I want to share those desires with another man instead of just having the desires and keeping it bottled up inside. I know that and have accepted it in my mind and my heart and my soul.
And…Yes, you are correct, I think it. I obviously have the desire and I am attracted to men, NOT women. I guess my mind has said I need to have actual sex with a man to finally admit that I am truly gay. Though I have known it since I was a kid. Yet, I conformed to society and had the traditional heterosexual relationships and was married to a beautiful lady with a great relationship.
Even through that, I never stopped thinking about my true desires. I have been single for awhile now and have had plenty of time to reflect on the obvious . It is clear to me who I am and who I have always been. I’m ready more than ever. Maybe a bit in denial my whole life. You think? I guess I can say, YES, I am fully gay. I’ve really never had any other deeper desires and I’ve always known it. It does feel good to say it and to admit it is true. I’ve just been reductant to say it…So, I am gay, just unexperienced. I’ve just never had the opportunity to share it. I can’t wait to enjoy those desires to the fullest and I hope it is sooner than later. I will be good at it and I have a lot of love to share
I’ll keep you posted. It’s been a bit discouraging on the apps and website dating platforms. Maybe I’m missing other opportunities to be around other like minded guys. Not into flaunting it either. It’s kind of a personal thing. Just having someone to talk to in real life would be a good start. Having a jackoff partner would be awesome, lol, but I want to make sure I’m safe. One step at a time I suppose…
Thanks again…
