Are you happy being single?

[eastofeden]

I would be interested to know how many here who hold the view that relationships mean loss of freedom have actually been in a relationship of some duration compared to those who have been mostly single. The latter would be like being on the outside looking in, while the former could come from being burned, I guess.

Perhaps it boils down to this: if you are happily partnered, you wonder why anyone would want to be single and if you are single, you wonder why others don't see relationship as too confining to allow for personal happiness.

I have held (and lived) both positions. The three relationships I had prior to this one I definitely experienced a loss of freedom and I had to struggle with holding on to my identity...to be fair it was already fragile and not their fault though at the time I wanted to blame them....

I loved being single....and those relationships probably taught me more about myself and other people than anything else in my life so I would begrudgingly experience them all over again because they led to to where I am today....they also helped me to really appreciate the times when I was single and I could have seen myself staying single my whole life ...very happily I might add.

....now I have a man (26 + years) who I don't just love unconditionally...I really like him too. For me..that is THE key. Everyone has different keys I suppose. I can say today I have more inner freedom than I have ever had BECAUSE of him...we have an amazing chemistry and I do believe we are soulmates. It IS alot of hard work though.

The thing is...there are many paths to bliss and some people maybe are meant to be single...and happy...and fulfilled. You can't fit a circle into a square and you shouldn't try. I personally have never even considered that being in a relationship is in any way superior to being single...I think this thread is the first time it has ever entered my thoughts. I have, however, considered a relationship a nightmare based on my experiences when I was single...I never had a desire for a relationship ironically...they just happened.

 

[geloge]

I didn't take it as confrontational and I was not trying to respond as if you were. Sorry if it came across that way. Typing words is just so inadequate at times. I understood what you were saying and know that what you feel is not uncommon.

Since I quoted you in a previous post and then you wrote #58 I thought maybe it could seem like I was fighting your opinion. I didn't take your answer as confrontational either. I just wanted to make it clear

 

[Beachguyj]

I'm fine with it, but I would be happier to have someone in my life who loved and cared about me.

 

[72-Jay]

I'm getting old (40), and I'm perfectly ok with being single...not 'happy' or 'sad' simply ok with it, just doesn't bother me.
That said it may well because I have no idea what being in a relationship would be like since...
I've never been a relationship or dated or been even close with anyone.
There are times I think I'd really like to have a boyfriend.
Other times I want to remain single (and I pretty much assume I will end up being so forever)
I often daydream about having a sorta-boyfriend..just someone to cuddle with & kiss but nothing more (no sex/etc)
Really don't know a part of me wants love, another is very much afraid of it)

 

[sixthson]

You are single and free now. Could you tell me some of things you are doing right now that you couldn't do if you were in a relationship, rather than just the things from the future?

 

[Rusty Crown]

NO! yet i'm a person how doesn't like people but i'm craving to squeeze someone between my arms and take care of him for almost the whole year (

 

[refujiunderground]

NO! yet i'm a person how doesn't like people but i'm craving to squeeze someone between my arms and take care of him for almost the whole year (

Also could you rate how my english was in this post, please?

not bad at all. not bad at all. insecure about your grammar?

 

[Rusty Crown]

not bad at all. not bad at all. insecure about your grammar?

Thank you! Yes I'm insecure about my everything actually