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Are you happy when you're single?

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biguy69

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I had a very odd conversation with a friend the other night, I'm the kind of person who doesn't need to be in a relationship to be happy or feel good and have fun etc. but the conversation I had with my friend made me sound like a complete freak for that reason.

I got the "aren't you afraid you'll die alone?" question, and my honest answer was that it doesn't actually bother me because it's not something that important to me.
I'd rather die alone and happy than be in a relationship just for the sake of it.

I generally have at least 12 months off after each relationship as I'm just not out there looking all the time needing someone to be with.

So, do you always want a relationship, or are you happy when you're single?
 
i've never been in a relationship. i used to just torment myself on how miserable and lonely i was but i decided that now i WANT to be alone. i think if i can accomplish full happiness alone, that being single or in a relationship in the future will never affect how happy and unhappy i am. i think relationships are too inconsistent to let it be the prime focus of your happiness/sadness.

but like i said i'm still pretty sad about being alone. at the same time i wouldn't date anyone :/

i've been writing songs glorifying being alone rather than whining about how horrible it is. it's interesting that you should bring this up :)
 
umimherekinda said:
i've never been in a relationship. i used to just torment myself on how miserable and lonely i was but i decided that now i WANT to be alone. i think if i can accomplish full happiness alone, that being single or in a relationship in the future will never affect how happy and unhappy i am. i think relationships are too inconsistent to let it be the prime focus of your happiness/sadness.

but like i said i'm still pretty sad about being alone. at the same time i wouldn't date anyone :/

i've been writing songs glorifying being alone rather than whining about how horrible it is. it's interesting that you should bring this up :)
Click to expand...

i was in your shoes, you just need to get a stroke a luck. i met my first and last boyfriend from Maine and we'll be together soon. (this is after screwing around for a little while, too)

i think i might be the luckiest guy in the world, but then again he always says he is too... two jocks in love.

if you want to know anything else or any other way i can help, let me know
 
I've only been in one short relatonship, and after I got over it, i found that i was strangely perfectly happy not being in one. If one comes my way, I wouldn't mind it, assuming I liked the guy, but I'm not desperately sad when I'm by myself.

Relationships are about exploring someone else, not amplifying yourself. So if you need a relationship just to be happy, then there's something wrong with how you see yourself.
 
While I've had relationships, good and bad, I don't define my life that way. When I reflect on past relationships, what I see are periods of my life when I was feeling vulnerable or physically "needy" or the other person was feeling that way. Relationships are a two-way street. If you're not growing together, it seldom lasts. A relationship also means working at it everyday, not just when you are both in a good mood but EVERY day. Unless I run into someone who I absolutely can't live without, I'm ambivalent about it and actually VERY happy being single. Being single CAN change the landscape of people around you. For example, my friends who have partners often tend to socialize only with others who have partners. I think that even happens in the straight world where "marrieds" tend to gravitate towards other marrieds and "single" becomes suspect. Those social nuances notwithstanding, I for one, need to be READY to enter a relationship. At the moment I'm not and that is fine for me. Yes, it can be lonely at times when you want to share with someone, but being single can also be a good time to get re-acquainted with yourself as a person. In doing so, perhaps the next relationship will be better for it...and more lasting.
 
Antares said:
I'm not really happy being single but I've never known anything else either. People suggest that perhaps I'm one of those people that are happiest in a relationship and when I finally do meet someone I'll be a happy person.

Others say that I have to be happy and comfortable being me before I can be with someone else.

I really don't know what to think right now.
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Think about what is best for YOU right now. That doesn't mean your feelings can't change in the future. They will. If you really don't know what to think, that simply means you are not ready at this time. Nothing wrong with that. Being in touch with yourself and the feeling of confidence that sends to others is when you will be "ready" for a relationship if you want one. It should happen naturally, not a forced or pre-conceived act. Be happy with YOU. That can be contagious!
 
I've been single before and happy to say that when I have been I don't go around looking for a relationship or whining that I have no one - I don't force these things to happen, they just do and that's been happiness for me. I'm pretty self-confident and independent enough to hold up on my own. I am in a happy relationship now, but if that should end - sure I will be sad, but it's not going to be the end of the world for me -- I will continue forward as I have always done.
 
LOVE LOVE LOVE being single.

I don't like feeling bothered, or obligated to do things. I don't like having other people in my space, but I must say that the company is sometimes really nice. I think I might be getting closer to seeing someone right now, and I'm not sure if I want to do it. I'm not sure if I'm the relationship type.

Single's the way to go!
 
I'm 26 yo and never been into a serious relationship till this year, and to tell the truth, never missed it.

But after falling in love for the first time and seeing how having someone by your side can be great, it gets harder to accept the fact that you're alone...

I've broken up with this first guy for about a month and a half now and it's been dificult to get back to my previous single status with the same peace of mind I used to have...

A friend of mine says that once a heart of ice melts (she used to say I had one) it's hard to make it freeze again. I'm starting to believe her... :(
 
Interesting, I thought I was weird for saying that.
Most of my friends, gay or straight seem to constantly be sleeping around in a desperate attempt to find someone to make their life complete. I just find it really shallow personally, especially sleeping with your best friends ex... That I find just plain fucked up.

I am very independent and most of my relationships have failed because I'm not supportive enough etc. but I'm not someone to give sympathy to an attention whore who wants me to big them up and massage their ego.
That may sound really harsh, but I don't go around whining and depressed if I've had a bad day at work and I equally won't put up with it from someone else unless there is good reason.

Perhaps that's why I'm single. Lol.
 
I'd guess that most people would probably be unhappy if their single, nothing wrong with that, it's just a fact of life. I haven't been in a proper relationship yet but I think that there is lots more out there than a relationship could offer. Family and friends for example, you can't just replace them like a bf (well i can't lol) They will always be there for you, no matter what happens. At the moment I'm fine being single and pretty happy with pushing my career foward rather than my love life.
 
when I was single I loved it!! But I always had a date and lots of friends so I never felt lonely. I loved going out with different people and not having to answer to no one. I actually knew I was a normal adjusted person cause I found happiness in myself and not in others. And I never had the 'what's wrong with me' pity party. I had a friend who measured his whole life on being single and how miserable it was. He tried so hard to meet a man and settle down. He told everyone he wasn't a loser cause he had a Bf on his 30th b-day. Of course the guy left him like every single man has in the last 7years I have known him. He hated me for all my dating and wondered why every guy wanted me to be their bf. Hello!!! i am not desperate and throw off self confidence and independence!Even he wanted to date me for a while.His neediness and desperation is beyond a turn off.It even ruined our friendship but it didn't help we had sex. But now I have been coupled for almost 5 years now. I can't imagine my life without him but if something happened I would be just fine. Life is filled with new adventures around every corner!
 
I have no problem with being alone. I don't exclude the possibility of one day (again) being in a relationship, but I'm not actively looking for it to happen.

Afraid of dying alone? Everybody dies alone.
 
I've met similar people: so busy expressing how "horrible it will be to die alone" that they don't realize they are pushing any prospective partners away.

Their problem.

I've found that simply being happy at who you are, single or not, works best. Happy people are attractive! I do think it's simpler to be happy by yourself;
being with other people always complicates the situation (not always in a bad way, mind you).
 
I'm indifferent to being single at the moment, but I don't want a relationship either. I am very self-confident and happy with myself. I've tended to have very good friends around me that help me get through those lonely days. However, since I recently ended my friendship with my best friend of more than decade it has thrown me in a loop. I seem to not want to have any real contact with anybody, so I've thrown myself into my schoolwork and career goals.

It doesn't bother me if I one day, die alone. I think that would bother me more if I died and didn't get to do what I all wanted to do in life such as travel to international destinations like Toronto, London, ect.

I after all the ups and downs of all the relationships has made me very indifferent when it comes to intimate relationships. So basically I'm happy being alone with myself and single.
 
I agree, doing stuff interesting is far more important than being with someone for me.
I want to travel, I want to get my career on track, I want to go back to uni this or next year and do a 3 year degree, I don't think that I could do any of that as well as I wanted if I had to deal with a relationship too.
 
biguy69 said:
I had a very odd conversation with a friend the other night, I'm the kind of person who doesn't need to be in a relationship to be happy or feel good and have fun etc. but the conversation I had with my friend made me sound like a complete freak for that reason.

I got the "aren't you afraid you'll die alone?" question, and my honest answer was that it doesn't actually bother me because it's not something that important to me.
I'd rather die alone and happy than be in a relationship just for the sake of it.

I generally have at least 12 months off after each relationship as I'm just not out there looking all the time needing someone to be with.

So, do you always want a relationship, or are you happy when you're single?
Click to expand...


I was happy being single, got into a relationship for 7 years, became single and realized that I like it - just me and my cat. PERFECT. Just because one is alone, does not mean you are lonely
 
i miss the company.

And yes i'm happy. Better alone than in bad company.
 
well, i'll be the weird one in the group... i would much rather be in a relationship: a good strong, healthy, balanced relationship, than be single. not because i'm needy. and not because i have low self esteem. i even really value my alone time A LOT (that's scared off a few bfs).

i have to admit though, it's nice having someone to make breakfast for besides me, and someone to e-mail pictures of a pretty sunset besides my friends. some people, like myself, like to share things. it doesn't make us co-dependent, just nurturers. i could do anything i wanted to do alone if i had to. even buy a house and have 2.5 kids and a dog. but i think it would mean a lot more to me if i could share those things with someone. it's like los lonely boyz say "my life was fine, but you brought perfection."

i'm not so much afraid of dying alone (my god how melodramatic) but of living alone.
 
probable said:
well, i'll be the weird one in the group... i would much rather be in a relationship: a good strong, healthy, balanced relationship, than be single. not because i'm needy. and not because i have low self esteem. i even really value my alone time A LOT (that's scared off a few bfs).

i have to admit though, it's nice having someone to make breakfast for besides me, and someone to e-mail pictures of a pretty sunset besides my friends. some people, like myself, like to share things. it doesn't make us co-dependent, just nurturers. i could do anything i wanted to do alone if i had to. even buy a house and have 2.5 kids and a dog. but i think it would mean a lot more to me if i could share those things with someone. it's like los lonely boyz say "my life was fine, but you brought perfection."

i'm not so much afraid of dying alone (my god how melodramatic) but of living alone.
Click to expand...

:=D: I couldn't agree more.
 
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