Are You More Into Guys Or Girls?

[RRRalph]

Please stop using that thread against me.

i'm not gonna post there

I have made decent thread about it, Lugus. You can post and speak up your mind there, Mabby.

 

[RRRalph]

From my experience, it's like you have to watch everything you say around gay guys unless you want an argument. I feel that I just can't hang loose and be a guy around them. Those I've encountered make me feel uncomfortable. I'm not trying to say that all of them are like this.

You are wise. Not all of the gay guys are like that. So don't be afraid to be open for another gay guy.

 

[NastyBlkNWhteCouple]

My lover and I do not hang out with gay men either.
Too much drama.
Not to say that there aren't gay men that arent into the drama--
But we have yet to see that be the case.....

 

[Piquechampion]

why would you get banned, who will bann you, i got your back men, dont trip over those over emotional guys

Yeah, most g... men are such drama queens, but , or I´ll get banned.

 

[RRRalph]

Yeah, most g... men are such drama queens, but , or I´ll get banned.

Now you're laughing, but in the other threads you were on your knees begging for forgiveness hahaha

 

[foolish082]

I'd always liked girls, but more curious about guys until I finally accepted that I actually had secual feelings towards men. Afterwards I preffered men to women, but I still like them both. I've never been sexually active with a dude so I can't say which I like more, but I tend to swing more in their direction.

 

[glo-unit]

Im more into guys and picture myself more in relationships with other guys. Slight'y Off-Topic but judging from the last portion of this thread I remember why I don't spend more time on the Bi/Straight guy forum.

 

[RRRalph]

Sometimes i'm dreaming guys and wanna suck a dick so much! but mostly i wanna sex with girlz

So you haven't sucked cocks yet? O yeah, welcome to Jub!

 

[jyrdgs]

Cool post. 90% Guys... HOWEVER, have never had a romantic connection with a guy, so it's been disappointing. Ready to try a relationship with a guy, but whores are plentiful in Tampa and I'm not one or into them myself. I still don't know that I've even fallen OUT of love with my ex fiance, and that was over 11 years ago.

 

[hot tamales]

Out of curiosity, do the bi guys have a preference for other bi guys or gay guys, one way or the other? Maybe you don't have a preference. Personally, I'd normally take the bi guy over the gay guy unless the bi guy is a fluid bisexual. I really have no experience with exclusively gay guys at all, well at least sexually speaking. Honestly, based on the limited interpersonal experience I've had with them, I don't think I relate very well.

From my experience, it's like you have to watch everything you say around them unless you want an argument. Honestly, I feel that I just can't hang loose and be a guy around them. Those I've encountered make me feel uncomfortable. I'm not trying to say that all of them are like this. I'm just speaking of those I've encountered in my limited experience, but it definitely has left such an impression that I try to avoid them. Maybe I could relate better to those exclusively gay guys that are more butch. Actually I relate better to straight guys than anyone else. I'm just trying to be honest here so don't jump on me. I already had the chubs and bears after my ass on another thread. Imagine? Someone callin' me "insensitive"?

Hmm. I do find a lot of the same issues myself; both gay and straight men tend to look down their nose at bisexual guys in my experience.

I've had very similar experiences myself, specifically this convenient series of quotes of yours:

"From my experience, it's like you have to watch everything you say around them unless you want an argument. Honestly, I feel that I just can't hang loose and be a guy around them."

It's kinda hard to explain, but it seems that I get looked down at by gay guys because I'm not "out", and they figure that by me saying I'm bi-sexual I'm insulting THEM by not being "out", suggesting that I think that guys who are able to be attracted to girls are "better" than they are.

Re-reading that I can't blame anyone for not getting it ;-) Not really sure how to explain it better though...

At the same time, I know that mentioning I'm "bi" around straight guys is going to result in, at the very least, an argument as well, so I make a point of not answering that question directly when I'm asked for that very reason.

I've never had someone assume I'm gay or bi though, as I don't really accurately represent the prototypical individual carrying the rainbow flag, which you may or may not be able to tell from the two photos I have in my gallery. So FWIW I've never had to deal with the issue of being "forced out of the closed" as some have.

Regardless, I've never had a positive response by anyone when I've said I was bi-sexual. I will say that I've found gay guys have tended to have more negative attitude towards me than straight guys who have been presented with this information.

...not sure those were by best-clarified comments but hopefully I got my message across

 

[RRRalph]

Sometimes I do feel the need to reach out to other bi or gay men. I'm still testing the waters and trying to determine whether I can really relate. Actually I don't "turn my nose up" at gay or bi men. Frankly, some of them just scare the hell out of me while a few of them, like on this board, I appear to relate to more.

We want names!

 

[SuperDodgy]

Sounds pretty healthy to me I'll drink to that.

 

[RRRalph]

The sex is good with both.

I agree, i can't say the one is better than the other.

 

[spiralgary]

i think that I'm
Emotionally: 30/70 guys/girls
Sexually: 60/40 guys/girls
I don't believe in a 100%

 

[axioma16]

Hello! I've been lurking around here for some time now, and found this topic rather interesting. I just wanted to add my opinion... Please, don't be too harsh!

Bisexuality is a much reviled condition because it defies our society’s absolutive notions of what acceptable sexual behaviour is. We are all expected to remain within the confines of two radical extremes that define who we are in function of pre-established parameters of conduct, regardless of whether we believe that these parameters are inherent to our being or constitute a choice. However, I’ve often found that everyone, gay and straight, views bisexuality as an invariably conscious choice to navigate both worlds; some sort of acknowledged perversion that enables people become ‘binary’ sexual agents, and thus engage in ‘deviant’ acts that violate our society’s moral assignations to both groups (heterosexuals and homosexuals).

This might also be why some people regard transsexuals as dangerous, because they break the gender divide and create an indefinable space where nothing can be easily quantified. Still, I find it very surprising that many people who regard transsexuals with sympathy, are outraged when it comes to bisexuality. Especially we gay men, who are constantly being adjudicated all sorts of negative conducts associated to our sexuality (promiscuity, dishonesty, sexual predation), are fast to place these same values on bisexual people – we say that they’re in denial, we call the hypocrites and blame them for their transgressions of society’s square sexual definitions. Isn’t it curious how easily we fall in the same accusatory role as those who view homosexuality under a negative light?

Personally, I can understand why many people would feel offended by the idea ‘men are for sex and fun, women are for love and companionship’. Whether we are going through a string of minor relationships, an endless chain of one-night-stands or look for the one and only love of our lives, we want to feel that we are deserving of love and acceptance. When bisexual men say that they can only experience amorous feelings towards women, it is understandable that many people will interpret that as if they were saying ‘women are better, and men who have sex with men are just sexual objects’. Isn’t that offensive and degrading? No one normal likes to feel like they’re being used, and then are going to be discarded like a dirty tissue. That doesn't mean that bisexual men who do prefer women should hide it, that's how they are after all - why deny it? However, it is difficult to understand for most of us that someone could separate both sexes into such specific roles within their sexual and emotional life. There's nothing wrong about it. It's just that none of us can experience, and thus, understand it. However, it would be helpful if someone could explain it, because it truly feels exploitative.

Still, it’s important to notice that desire and love are not the same thing, they cannot be quantified and can be experienced separately; there’s no need for them to happen at the same time, and with the same person. For whichever reasons, some bisexual men cannot connect emotionally with other men. I’ve known other bisexual men who cannot connect emotionally with women. Who cares? As long as they are honest about their intentions (and here’s where the problems often begin), everyone will know what to expect and it’s less likely that they will get hurt. But I will always find it curious how someone could draw percentages about their preferences.

Nevertheless, I find it curious that some bisexual men are fast to label themselves as ‘straight’ and then complain about the fact that society keeps labelling them in one way or another. Aren’t they the first ones to label themselves (not to mention others)? Labels represent constricting definitions; that’s true, but they allow us to rapidly obtain information about each group and individual within society without the necessity of extremely long expositions – besides, I haven’t heard Christians whingeing because they are labelled as such, even though all Christian people have extremely diverging views on religion. In addition, there are some labels that imply a high degree of variability, and leave space for further elaboration. I agree that a single word cannot define who we are, but it can contribute to explain it, can't it? By using a specific label and engaging in behaviour that are conflicting with what it represents, they are only contributing to greater confusion and resentment against them.

That’s just my little addition to this topic. Sorry if it was too long. By the way, it's nice ot be here.

 

[Candyapple]

Great first post, Axioma16! Welcome!!

 

[Piquechampion]

Personally, I can understand why many people would feel offended by the idea ‘men are for sex and fun, women are for love and companionship’...we want to feel that we are deserving of love and acceptance. When bisexual men say that they can only experience amorous feelings towards women, it is understandable that many people will interpret that as if they were saying ‘women are better, and men who have sex with men are just sexual objects’. Isn’t that offensive and degrading? No one normal likes to feel like they’re being used, and then are going to be discarded like a dirty tissue... because it truly feels exploitative. For whichever reasons, some bisexual men cannot connect emotionally with other men. I’ve known other bisexual men who cannot connect emotionally with women. Who cares? As long as they are honest about their intentions (and here’s where the problems often begin), everyone will know what to expect and it’s less likely that they will get hurt.

First of all, great post

For me it is offensive, and I have turned down quite a few guys for that reason alone (some of them were bi, others were gay but in relationships with women... gotta love my country ).

But I do think that if gay men don´t want to feel as if they are used by bi guys, then it´s simple don´t put out that easily... at least in my case it´s all or nothing, you don´t get to tap this bitch´s ass if you´re not dating me.

 

[daydreamer27]

First of all, great post

For me it is offensive, and I have turned down quite a few guys for that reason alone (some of them were bi, others were gay but in relationships with women... gotta love my country ).

But I do think that if gay men don´t want to feel as if they are used by bi guys, then it´s simple don´t put out that easily... at least in my case it´s all or nothing, you don´t get to tap this bitch´s ass if you´re not dating me.

you're right. don't agree on just having sex with someone, when you know you are really looking out for love. this simple rule applies to anyone regardless of his/her sexual orientation.

 

[GGGaylph]

you're right. don't agree on just having sex with someone, when you know you are really looking out for love. this simple rule applies to anyone regardless of his/her sexual orientation.

what kind of rule is that, please?

 

[Piquechampion]

That depends. Does the bitch have a rounded, tight bubble butt that you can set a tray on or crack an egg on? Now, that's husband material! If you're reasonably attractive, quite a few men and women will normally hit on you. Some you know right away aren't your type. Others? Personally, I'll first take a crack at friendship and get to know the person better. If it's a guy, I'd probably invite him to play some sport or lift at the gym, etc. to break the ice. If you have enough in common, your friendship will normally blossom. If the relationship goes beyond friendship, consider yourself to be very fortunate. If it doesn't, then you still have a good friend.

If the guy pressures you to sleep with him immediately, then you should probably tell him what you're looking for. Unfortunately, this is where alot of guys cave in. Let's face it. Even some of the relationship oriented people get horny too. So cut to you flat on your back with your legs in the air that night, then crying over your beer the next day that the guy doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. Instead of throwing your legs up in the air, you probably should've sent him packing at this point. But so much for 2nd guessing yourself. Move on.

If he's pressuring you, then he's probably doing it with every other guy (and girl) as well. Yeah, he's probably a slut, not exactly relationship material. If the guy is genuinely interested in you, he'll stick around. Yes, speaking from my personal experience, he certainly will. Somehow I doubt that a bi guy who only wants you for sex will stick around when there are countless numbers of guys out there ready and raring to give it up at a drop of a hat. So it's probably more wise to get to know the other person well as a friend. Who knows? Things could heat up from there. If you're lucky, things will. My personal advice is to love a friend, not a stranger.

Yeah good advise man... but little fyi, when I do get horny i´d rather use my hand than compromise my principles, it´s as simple as that. And I´ve send quite some guys packing home cause all they wanted was sex (even this total hottie whom I had the biggest crush for like two years). This bitch is not second hand plate my man, no sir