Are you really ¨out¨?

[Aaron]

I'm completely out. I'll tell anyone if I'm asked, and it's pretty much common knowledge in my circles.

 

[Pushover]

I'm out as I possibly can be. I don't hold an actual job, so it's impossible for me to be out at work. Most of my family knows I'm gay; both my parents, my sister and her husband along with his brother and his wife and parents, as well as 3 aunts and 2 uncles. My only surviving grandmother doesn't know but she will when she comes to visit at Christmas. My internet friends know I'm gay, everybody HERE knows, and there are a few friends from high school I still keep in touch with that know.

So, I guess I'm pretty much out.

Now, I wouldn't say I'm openly gay, because I don't share the information, but if asked, I'll tell the truth.

 

[wraithsa]

i am out-ISH a few friends a few family - were nessicary really - i dont think there is a need to walk round in a t shirt thats says "i am gay"

 

[TX-Beau]

Totally and completely out.

Seriously what’s with the whole “I don’t advertise” thingy. Are you toothpaste? Being gay is no less intrinsic to me than being straight is to a straight person. They feel no compunction at all about “advertising,” all over the place why should I.

I tell people I meet as soon as the opportunity arises, saves time, and they don’t have to awkwardly dance around it later when someone else tells them and they want confirmation. Plus it heads off the women who are far too inclined to think I’m interested when I’m just being friendly.

Most of the people I work with are straight, conservative good ole’ boys, who freak out far less if they know up front, than if I “don’t advertise” and they find out later. It’s easier on me and better for them to start with all the cards on the table. That way if they want to avoid me they can, and I don’t have to put up with their bullshit.

 

[Royal Heart]

Pretty much, yeah. I don't make a point of advertising, though. So people have gone months without knowing I was gay because it just never came up. Though I have no qualms about hiding in the closet if I think I'm danger on account of being gay - I'm more likely to be avoidant than outright lie, but I'm not above it.

Seriously what’s with the whole “I don’t advertise” thingy. Are you toothpaste? Being gay is no less intrinsic to me than being straight is to a straight person. They feel no compunction at all about “advertising,” all over the place why should I.

Then perhaps you haven't met that gay guy who introduces himself as his sexuality. He meets a stranger, shakes his hand and says, "hii!!!!omg!! i'm gay!! lolololol1!!1 Also, my name is Marc". A lot of us have met him, my best friend was that gay guy for the longest time. He would go out of his way to make sure everyone knew that he was gay and that they should respect him for being out.

If I have a woman hitting on me, then I'll find a way to slip my preference for men into the conversation like it's no big deal - because it's not a big deal. If you're hitting on me, then you're making an assumption about me, and if that assumption is incorrect I'll politely interject a correction. Beyond that, I don't see any reason why it should ever come up. I'm at work to work, not to hook up or have people know every intimate detail of my life.

 

[dpnice]

From an extremely early age I knew exactly where my sexual needs were orientated and assumed that it was just different. So I was never really closeted as I never realised there was a choice. I did what I wanted and assumed everyone knew.

In fact I have always assumed that everyone realised I was gay. I have come out to a few people, I don't know why as my homosexuality was so obvious that it should have been the first thing that crossed someone's mind.

Everyone I know knows that I am gay, even at work. Mind you it hasn't stopped them making slightly offensive gay jokes whilst I am serving dinner. Difficult to serve soup whilst choking back laughter.

I mean, English, single, well dressed and cultivated how could I not be gay.

Might I add a comment for those who are not "out" and believe that they are so "straight acting" that no one knows. People don't go around constantly questioning whether someone is gay. When they meet someone their first question isn't is he gay. When you tell them you are single they don't immediately think it is because you like fucking men. The just don't think about it.

Which was my error. I thought being gay was as obvious as having a green face.

 

[TX-Beau]

Then perhaps you haven't met that gay guy who introduces himself as his sexuality. He meets a stranger, shakes his hand and says, "hii!!!!omg!! i'm gay!! lolololol1!!1 Also, my name is Marc". A lot of us have met him, my best friend was that gay guy for the longest time. He would go out of his way to make sure everyone knew that he was gay and that they should respect him for being out..

And this apocryphal guy what, offends your inner Miss Manners? I’ll take ill mannered honesty on both sides of the fence over “well mannered” hiding. Anyway I don’t have a problem with gay guys being out and proud, why does that offend you so?

 

[LilBit]

I'm not out to my extended family, but everyone else knows. I've even had students call me out before. I don't need to tell most people; it's fairly obvious to anyone with two brain cells to rub together.

 

[MidnightPrism]

I'm out to everyone who knows me.

I imagine their are some people at work who might not know, but only people I don't make regular acquaintance with.

 

[2243]

I'm getting there.

Three people in my family know. I only told 1 of them, the other 2 sort of figured it out and asked me. I really only care about telling my mom. Once I do that and if she's ok with it then I don't care who else knows.

 

[wanky_window]

pfff manicurist.


Like a lot of people i'll tell them if they ask, it's not a big deal.


This dyke once tried to fuck me....

 

[jamie_01930]

I don't advertise it like. hey everyone...... I' m gay

but if I could include my partner I would
"we can't go, my partner is feeling under the weather. or My partner gave it to me. to whoever is asking the question






I did screw up here but when i realized what I did, I wasn't touching that one

 

[xygraywolf]

I'm out to anybody who asks, unless I'm pretty sure they'll try to beat the shit out of me. I don't make an issue out of my sexual orientation, but I don't hide it away, either.

I def agree with DaemonFox, I'm out to people that ask. Most people don't think I'm gay at first. I'm out at home to most of my family, I think really the only person in my core family is my Dad. I'll volunteer the information if I'm asked, otherwise, it's no one's business but my own.

 

[Royal Heart]

And this apocryphal guy what, offends your inner Miss Manners? I’ll take ill mannered honesty on both sides of the fence over “well mannered” hiding. Anyway I don’t have a problem with gay guys being out and proud, why does that offend you so?

There is a marked difference between hiding your sexuality and screaming it to everyone who you come across whether you're just paying for gas or trying to make a friend. I don't mind guys being out- I prefer them to be out, but I'm not talking about someone who is "just out" and happy with that, I'm talking about someone whose whole identity and sense of self was their sexuality; forgetting that there was a whole person there, with thoughts, fears, talents, stories and failings - but all that he was ever putting out there was that he liked cock.

He was musically talented, a vivid storyteller, and had a wonderful sense of humour - but all these things took a back seat to his screaming antics, "I'M GAY AND YOU LIKE IT!"

Think about all those annoyingly evangelical Christians who scream about Jesus at everyone. It's irritating and it's sad that that's all they're presenting themselves as. They could be exceptionally talented at math, or win mother-of-the-year for their unsurpassed parenting skills, or could have some truly wonderful and inspiring qualities about them - but we never learn that because all they're presenting is JESUS!!!1!!one

I'm gay, too. I don't hide it, I don't care if you acknowledge it. But I'm a person, a whole human being and my sexuality is only a part of that. I meet people not as a gay man, but as a human being first. I want people to know me for who I am, not for which gender I like.