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Arguments and Disagreements

J

jubjub

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Why is it that everytime I talk to my best friend (who is male), especially online, we always have to digress from a conversation into an argument about something pointless. For example, we would often argue over who's point of view about something is correct, or question the actions and logic of each other. We seem to do that when it comes to talking face to face as well, but it happens a lot less.

However, this never gets to the point where we get pissed off or anything. It's just pointless banter, I suppose, something to discuss? But really, why is it that we always have to argue over who is right and who is wrong? I rarely have this problem with any of my other friends (be it male or female), we just have normal discussions.

Don't get me wrong, he is my best friend and I do enjoy spending time with him. He's a good guy, but it just seems like he always initiates these arguments, and I just fuel them by trying to prove my point.

Anyone else have a similar problem with their best friend? Perhaps some suggestions, comments or a solution?
 
jubjub, I read your post and it reminded me so much of one of my friends - he would argue with a tree stump! If I say the sky is gray he will say no it's charcoal... It drives me crazy. There are times when he is so dead wrong but I'm not into telling him he's full of shit so I just let it go or say "yeah... whatever"
 
Yes!! The thing is everytime we argue about something, and neither of us are willing to submit, he'll just say something along the lines of "right," or "ok," and then not say anything afterwards. Which I don't know how to interpret: perhaps he actually got mad and doesn't want to speak anymore? Or perhaps its just his way of ending the argument. Nonetheless, it has never gotten so serious as to where either one of us would flip out at the other.

Detrimental: I already try not to let arguments get anywhere. For example, I try changing the subject to something else, but he always ignores the new subject and continues on our argument.
 
The situation you describe can be very tiering. Personally I would rather avoid a person like that. Let him go and drive someone else crazy.

He obviously knows exactly which buttons to push and derives great pleasure out of doing it.
 
Well I wouldn't say he takes pleasure out of it. Neither of us seem to take any enjoyment in our disagreements.
 
Have you and your friend ever argued about the logic behind the existence of horse-racing? In the middle of the room where your linguistics professor stops her lecture out of sheer morbid curiosity to listen to the two of you raise your voice at each other?

If you haven't, then you're still doing exceptionally well with your friend. :)
 
I have learned over the years that sometimes it's just best to stop arguing and agree to disagree. It makes things so much easier and less stressful. But me and my friends tend to be strong-willed people in general.
 
Maybe he respects you enought hat he reserves his greater arguments or bickering for you? Usually, people are more reserved about petty arguments or even serious theological/political arguments with people they aren't familiar and comfortable with.

Assumign that you guys are having debates, not outlandish arguments, where you always come away feeling good and chummy, then I wouldn't worry about there being something wrong about your friendship.

But if they're really arguments, then there is a problem and if it makes you uncomfortable (even if it's friendly debate) then you need to tell him to lay off because it bothers you ins ome way or another.
 
jubjub said:
Why is it that everytime I talk to my best friend (who is male), especially online, we always have to digress from a conversation into an argument about something pointless. For example, we would often argue over who's point of view about something is correct, or question the actions and logic of each other. We seem to do that when it comes to talking face to face as well, but it happens a lot less.

However, this never gets to the point where we get pissed off or anything. It's just pointless banter, I suppose, something to discuss? But really, why is it that we always have to argue over who is right and who is wrong? I rarely have this problem with any of my other friends (be it male or female), we just have normal discussions.

Don't get me wrong, he is my best friend and I do enjoy spending time with him. He's a good guy, but it just seems like he always initiates these arguments, and I just fuel them by trying to prove my point.

Anyone else have a similar problem with their best friend? Perhaps some suggestions, comments or a solution?
Click to expand...

Ask him. Share this thread, or just ask the question to him directily.
Some people in certain situations (I used to to this quite a lot) just like to take an opposing point of view, just for the sake of friendly argument. Nothing meant seriously by it.... but it was never done over trivial conversation. I did it when discussing some current event or political point of view. Could be your friend is like that.
Anyway, if you guys are to remain friends this sounds like something that need to be resolved. At least for you.
Good luck with it. :D
 
dont know.whenever my friend does that,he ends up crying cos im more clever.so i really enjoy arguing.
 
lol, talked with him for a while about random stuff today and no arguments or disagreements so far!
 
Yes...I have a (step) cousin who is worse (we piss each other off). We have many things in common (and we're great friends, especially good chemistry person...I've been told many times that people think we'd be a great couple...if she was a he and some other things). But our political-social-intellectual ideas (if any) are so different, and we're both so stubborn that it's inevitable that we get into heated arguments (I won't call them debates) often enough. But it really seems to only (or a great majority) happen online. And they are pretty pointless.

In my case, it all comes down to great differences...liberal vs. conservative, gay vs. homophobic, proud Canadian vs. embarassed Canadian, even man vs. woman....all tend to come up once an argument starts. And we're both very rivalrous...she tries to do everything I do better (and quits/gets discouraged when she realizes she isn't doing any better :rolleyes: ). Somehow, it has never hurt our friendship.

Easiest way to stop this or reduce it is, is to try hard not to fuel his arguments. Turn to a joke instead, making things less serious. That works on my cousin (if it doesn't, then I make an scandelous comment and that does work, lol) but I know there are some more stubborn people on earth....and not the solution then.
 
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