Asexual Homosexuals?

[hurynwait2]

I heard a female comedian one time say she practiced celebacy.

Sometimes she gave it away, and sometimes she'd sell a bit !

 

[puka-pride]

yeah i've met a few of these guys.. I dun understand it but whatever

 

[contradict1self]

although i had enjoyed both parties previously i currently abstain from sex (and for a couple of years at that, although i love porn Hence my name) I suppose im doing it to try and see what i really am, and if i am capable of truly understanding love for another person. Not just carnal desire. I want to understand myself and the people/world around me alot more.

well thats most of my reason anyway.

PS i am an agnostic and i really cant believe god thinking any kind of sex is a sin unless its rape.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey you guys....WELCOME TO JUB!!!!

Hope you guys all feel welcome here and its great to see you posting!!!! The more the merrier and the better this place gets....

Maybe these "states of being" ie asexual...is more a phase relative to their own place and stage in life. Coming out and realising that you are gay has a lot of individual ramifications and the process is uniquely individual although there are distinct phases it seems.

It seems that as we move from thinking that there is nothing other than the conventional lifestyle to accepting ourselves as being able to have a full gay relationship, there are stages that we pass through that relate directly to sex. For some it is seen as the final barrier to full acceptance and so while they are happy to say they are abstaining and want nothing but an emotional relationship..it may be that they cant or unwilling to fully accept themselves as gay.

Just a theory.... maybe we should ask those who feel this way in 5 years time if they still feel the same way....

 

[blech]

Yes, there are such things as asexual homosexuals (also known as asexual homoaffectionates in relatively new terminology). It has been proposed that they are biologically disinterested in sex and counterproposed that they are repressing their sex drives.

I think I am one myself. I'm an 18 year old college student. I am not one for religious reasons, as an agnostic. I think guys are cute and have gone on dates with a few. I have been kissed twice and found it pleasurable. I sometimes am aroused by porn and jack off. But I don't like to imagine myself having any kind of sex; it kind of seems gross and it turns me off to think about myself having sex with a guy. One of the guys I went on a date with told me, maybe it's just an acquired taste with you and you have to try it. But if thinking about it turns me off, I don't have any kind of drive or desire to do it, and I'm happy being close friends with emotional bonds, my thought is why get into it even if I would like it? It's not like I have any pining desire to do it; the opposite is true, really.

Wow. This is exactly my situation except for the fact that I don't even like kissing people.

I'm not out yet [as a bi-sexual] but I have told some people how I don't want to have sex [I don't tell them I like guys too] and they're like "maybe you're gay and girls just dont do it for you?" But I'm thinking in my head "both guy or girls don't do anything for me." It's really weird and I felt like I was the only one. It might have something to do with my self-confidence [I'm not ugly or anything...its just a long story] and I never really got the chance to "experiment" and I don't really want to either.

 

[kallipolis]

Self denial of our natural sexual expression is a common, passing phase in the life of many people who are discovering their sexual identity. Time and life's experiences will predictably mature the person into becoming the person waiting to reveal his or her sexual and emotional self.

Repressing our sexual needs as a result of cultural reactions to homosexual sexual expression is noticeably apparent in the United States, but much less so in those countries where society is much more at ease with the homosexual person.

Attempting to create a new identity in assuming the status of asexual is a predictable reaction to a person's unwillingness to accept their homosexual sexual identity. Denial of our sexual identity is usual a short phase in the life of the rapidly growing teenager.

 

[hermanding]

sex is as powerful a drive as hunger. in fact, it IS a type of hunger. usually, sublimating, denying, ignoring this basic instinct that nature has placed in us for one thing to keep the species in existence has psychological repercussions down the line - as one becomes neurotic and screwed up. it's there to be enjoyed and celebrated. i really hope you will be able to do that. it's like a great dessert that makes everything seem a little better - and with no calories either.
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[MidnightPrism]

I have actually felt this way at times. Everyone seems to put too much emphasis on sex. There are many far more important things to me... and I could have a perfectly happy life with someone without sex.

 

[kallipolis]

Being sexually celibate and still experiencing sexual thoughts and reactions, is not being asexual.

The asexual person, is dead.

 

[evilest]

I have actually felt this way at times. Everyone seems to put too much emphasis on sex. There are many far more important things to me... and I could have a perfectly happy life with someone without sex.

Seconded. I can survive quite well on my own.

 

[Jeimuzu]

I have actually felt this way at times. Everyone seems to put too much emphasis on sex. There are many far more important things to me... and I could have a perfectly happy life with someone without sex.

Ditto. To be honest, sex isn't the wonderful brilliant outstanding cure-all it's seen as. I prefer just kissing and snuggling.

 

[ludolfo]

i tend to think that 'sex' has been made to be errrm 'sukin' rimmin' 'fukin' not necessarily in that order, but you get my drift. what i prefer to see sex as is much broader, a whole erotic FIELD. so say a look is sex, a touch is sex, a warm feeling from a reponse to another is sex, the actual 'more intimate' functions of fukin sukin rimmin are really part of the whole process rather then cut-off from it. and we have been...well some of us to believe and expect that fukin suckin rimmin as being the all-in-all rather than part of an erotic whole potential of SEX. if you get me?

also remember, some people--some rentboys sptring to mind can be very cold in the 'sexual act' just thinking of the money. so emotions being divorced from the physicality. yes that can be a turn on also, but it can also put others right off when that becomes the accepted norm so to speak

 

[Claudio63]

I don't think there's such a thing as an asexual homosexual. You are by definition either heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or asexual depending on your attraction to the opposite sex, your own sex, both or no one at all. Being asexual isn't the same as not having sexual relations - that would mean virgins are asexual. It means lack of desire to have sex.

 

[Claudio63]

Claudio63, I agree that "asexuality" is not a term to be toyed with. There are many people who are completely asexual, and they're gaining recognition and acceptability.

David Jay, one of the leading figures in the asexual movement, said on asexuality.org that people should use the asexual label if they think it helps, and that is was an open-source term and concept. At one point, he endorsed the concept of 4 sexualities within asexuality. Type C describes a person capable of sexual arousal and experiencing romantic emotions, but missing a link between the two that left them overall permanently disinterested in sex.

Asexual might be a poor word for the common experience several people are describing on this thread. An alternative (that may make some people angry) is g0y: homosexual men who are find certain gay sex practices (usually anal) repulsive or uninteresting. g0y has been associated with homophobic half-closeted guys, in my opinion unfairly.

It seems another problem of semantics. It's like "homosexual" now being used to mean closeted and "gay" meant to mean activist. I'll keep a dictionary next to me and hope that helps me communicate with my fellow jubbers.

What I do see wrong with the asexual movement as you've described it, is that it seems to imply that sexuality is devoid of love. The terms heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual should not be defined exclusively by who one has carnal knowledge with. It also implies love and romance. A man that cuddles with another man is gay, whether they reach orgasm or not. You don't have to have anal sex, passive or active, to be gay. If a "g0y" sucks my dick, he can call himself "asexual" all he wants, it still makes him "gay" in my book. The only asexual relationships I would say are those one has with family and friends. I'm not even sure that defining asexuality as a "sexual orientation" is correct because it seems to say asexuality is sex without sex.

Words...

 

[hermanding]

sex is more than fucking, coming. kissing can be very sexual, i think. tender touching.
you will do what you feel best for yourself. if being asexual is where you are most comfortable, given your abhorrence of those things and acts you feel are sexual, i support you. sex and its affiliated activities - hugs, kisses, warmth, intimacy - are such gifts, in my opinion. no one has to accept them.
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