Asexuality

[Tokyohardcore]

I've been thinking about this for a while now, and it seems to me that I could very well be asexual.
I've never really had much interest in sex (well, not me being involved with the sex at least) and I started to understand it about a year ago. Long story short, a young guy transferred to my job, and I was his trainer, he's asexual, and will admit to it openly. A year later, we're best friends, and have been for months.

I have no interest in having sex with anybody, yet I want to be in a relationship. Does that sort of thing ever work out?

 

[Tokyohardcore]

Still a virgin. I don't mind giving oral or a handjob though.

 

[Eagle653]

Yes, it can work out if the person you have the relationship with is as asexual as you are. It becomes a "good friends" type arrangement.

Asexuality does exist, and we probably all know one or more people who fit in that category. However, it is somewhat rare in its truest form. Sometimes people say they're asexual when, in fact, they have a sexuality that they are consciously or unconsciously rejecting because they loathe it. Asexuality can also be caused by hormonal disturbances, too, and that would need to be tested during an annual physical just to make sure nothing is awry there.

If hormonal levels check out, and you have zero sexual drive, then you can safely assume you're asexual. Finding another asexual partner is ideal because there's never any sexual tension nor the confounding influences of sex in the relationship. While sex adds a richness and connection, asexual folks find equivalent emotional connections through respect, friendship, and mutual-interest-bonding.

Good luck!

 

[Prestobesto]

lol.. I once dated a guy who wondered if he was asexual.

Half the time he didn't want to even talk about sex.

The other half, he was sex crazy!!!

 

[roadtripboy]

I agree with Eagle653. I used to think I was asexual. Turns out it was a medication I was taking. It just sort of nailed my sex drive to the floor. Once I stopped taking it, I found out I did have a sex drive after all. I would check on the hormone situation just to be sure.

 

[Fritos]

If you dont mind me asking a blunt/personal question, but what do you think or look at while you jerk off? or do you even jerk off?

 

[Telstra]

if you cum often, you are not Asexual.

How often do you cum ? once a day ?

 

[Tokyohardcore]

I'm aroused by gay porn, just have no interest in partaking in any of the activities involved with sex.

 

[hylas]

id say if youre aroused by porn and "don't mind giving oral or a handjob", the youre not asexual. an asexual person has no interest in any sexual activities.

if youre gonna identify as asexual anyway, i think its important to be honest about it to potential romantic partners. yes, it will decrease your chances, but your potential romantic partner has to know that being with you means not having sex. anything else would be unfair.

also, read this: http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/09/09/savage-love-letter-of-the-day/

 

[maxpowr9]

As a homo-romantic, (aka gay asexual) I would not reject being labeled a homosexual if you are a virgin. I'm a firm believer in "don't knock it until you've tried it". Of course I'm not saying go find some random person to have sex with either. It took me quite a few years and several poor relationships to figure out my own asexuality and that was after dealing with my own homosexuality. No it isn't just that I was bad at sex or my partner was either (which people often think).

I would check out the AVEN website, especially their FAQs for a little guidance and information on asexuality. It will probably answer a lot of questions that you have. If there one thing I learned from my experiences, it is that 'sexual' attraction is not the same as 'romantic' attraction.

 

[Just_Believe18]

If you want a relationship without the sex, then how about dating the young guy you know who is openly asexual? You have less than a one percent chance of finding a guy who is going to feel the same way.

 

[wooffy]

I've been thinking about this for a while now, and it seems to me that I could very well be asexual.
I've never really had much interest in sex (well, not me being involved with the sex at least) and I started to understand it about a year ago. Long story short, a young guy transferred to my job, and I was his trainer, he's asexual, and will admit to it openly. A year later, we're best friends, and have been for months.

I have no interest in having sex with anybody, yet I want to be in a relationship. Does that sort of thing ever work out?

Any relationship can work, if you both care for each other, have compatible needs, communicate, and show some flexibility. My life-partner and I haven't had sex in years, and we're ok with that. We have changed a great deal physically and in our sexual tastes in our 19 years together, so its not a big deal.

I'm very sexual, but I often find myself preferring solo sex anyway - I have zero interest in vanilla sex, and I am pretty damn good at pushing my own buttons. Most of the time sex doesn't seem worth the time to me, unless its a guy I feel close to emotionally or we have a mutual kink interest we want to explore.

 

[Tokyohardcore]

The younger guy currently has a girlfriend. Originally, she was fine with his asexuality, but she took his virginity not too long ago, even though he's not a fan of sex, just doing things that she wants.

I've lurked AVEN quite a few times, it's a great place. I feel comfortable there.

 

[seven_sins]

Asexuals can have strong attractions to others. They can have gay, bi, or straight attractions. They are just not interested in sex.

 

[Reconfusvdo27]

I learned something. I didnt know what asexuality was. i thought it was an expression of just not wanting to have sex. If i called myself asexual it wouldnt be accurate because i dont want any relationship other than friendship anytime soon.
BUT I GUESS THATS WHY YOU EXPERIMENT TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE.

 

[jussumme88]

Your post makes sense. I have romantic interest in women and I have an interest in sex with them, but it's not something I'm dying for right now this minute. I like to jerk off while looking at gay porn but I have little interest in actual sex with another man. It's very possible. Or it's possible that we aren't as obsessed with sex as everyone else.