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Asking him out...

G

GrandVertigo

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I'm a 24-year-old bi grad student. I've been in one long term relationship with a woman, and I've kissed a few guys, but nothing beyond that. There's a guy in one of my classes on whom I've developed a crush. He's incredibly cute, seems really nice, and I'm pretty sure he's gay: he speaks sort of "gayishly" (though not over-effeminately, I'm sure you know what I mean), and one time I overheard him mentioning that he likes to study while dancing to Beyonce instead of sitting still (sounds quirky and fun, but gay).

The problem is that I'm very quiet, and I've never even talked to him. (Uh, I don't even know his name.) But the semester's nearing an end, and I don't want to miss a potentially great opportunity. I think I want to ask him out after class one day, maybe as soon as this Thursday. I could ask him if I could ask him something, then explain that I think he's cute, and seems nice, so I was wondering if he might like to go out on a date with me some time, that way we could get to know each other better. (I've already ran this conversion through my head at least a dozen times).

Does this seems like a good plan? I figure the worst thing that could happen is that he could say no. As long as I can work up the courage to talk to him, I think I've got a good chance (unless he's totally not interested or already in a relationship).
 
Looks as if you will have to act fast if the semester is nearing its end. Just try to ask him to join you for a coffee or something. Is there anywhere you see him like that ? He sounds cool , best of luck , dont let him slip away !
 
Go up to him after class and introduce yourself. After making introductions, tell him that you overheard that he likes to study while dancing to Beyonce and you thought that was really cool. Tell him something "quirky" about you. Then ask if he wants to get some coffee or something. Hopefully you can get to know each other better and if you hit it off, then make a date.
 
Ask him a random question about class, introduce yourself and talk about a new movie or something. Don't over think it, be natural.
 
CARPE DIEM!!!!

If it was me, I'd probably go for the direct proposition. But then I like the thrill of the gamble. If you want something more subtle, use the class thing, you will have to proposition him at some point, but you may feel more comfortable doing that if you know him a little better.

In any event, go introduce yourself already. Remember, if you do nothing you'll regret it forever, if he says no, at least you have the self respect of knowing you were brave enough to go after what you wanted.

Confidence boy! Confidence requires practice, yes or no, you build confidence by acting.
 
GrandVertigo said:
...I could ask him if I could ask him something, then explain that I think he's cute, and seems nice, so I was wondering if he might like to go out on a date with me some time, that way we could get to know each other better. (I've already ran this conversion through my head at least a dozen times)....
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^^^ Skip all this. It's too much information.

You don't need to confess everything in the first 5 minutes.

Just introduce yourself. Make conversation. If you get a positive vibe from the conversation, ask him if he would like to grab coffee/a drink sometime and exchange numbers.

And then just follow through.

If it's meant to be, it will happen.
 
Yesterday, after only talking to him a total of two times, I finally asked him out for coffee literally two minutes before the final exam. He said he'd be out of town for the holidays, but we exchanged numbers. Then we finished the exam at about the same, so we discussed the exam a little bit with other students in the hallway. And since we were both free then, we ended up going for coffee, and then to his nearby apartment to talk some more.

It turned out that I'm pretty much exactly his type, and he'd been crushing on me since the start of the semester. Then we went to an end-of-the-semester party that his friend was throwing, and finally back to his place for a lot of making out, etc., before I went home. We're both incredibly into each other, and I'm seeing him again as soon as he's back in town.

It went better than I could've possibly imagined. Moral of the story: taking chances is a very good thing.
 
Two thumbs up! Congrats!
 
Moral of the story: taking chances is a very good thing.
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Isn't that what we're always saying?
 
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