This seemed like the best place to ask, although if it needs to be moved elsewhere I'd understand, seemed like the best place though.
Anyway, ok so I've been in my relationship for a year now (2 years come May) and I'm still having the utmost difficulty with anal. I'm a versatile bottom, with a preference for bottoming. And I find anal sex to be extrememly hot, but at this point it seems almost like a fetish or a fantasy.
And we've tried what seems like everything... Originally we used Astroglide, but then the people over at Castle (adult store) told us that since it's a j/o lube, it wouldn't work well; so they recommended this H2O lube which is specifically for anal. We had better results, but nothing like we'd wanted. So, we bought Anal Ease, which as it says basically numbs the hole a bit. That's helped, but still not much progress. I should also add that we've used two dildos, neither have helped a great deal.
So what's the problem? My record, after almost two years, is 2 minutes... if I'm lucky. Normally in less than a minute I'm forcing him out. Most of the time, it just plain freaking hurts. The best way I can describe it is it feels like he's taking a corkscrew, or sharpened pencils, and twisting them into my hole. Don't get me wrong, he goes slow and is very gentle, but even that isn't helping.
Other times, when I'm lucky, that pain isn't very intense and subsides after a few seconds. Then after that, usually a minute and a half, I start complaining because it feels like I have "a giant turd stuck in my butt". And then, even though there's no pain, it's just pure uncomfortable. I'd think that it should be hitting my "G-Spot" by now, but I've never felt that "orgasmic pleasure" that everyone talks about.
Another thing is that apparently, when he first sticks it in, I guess I tighten up. That's subconsious, until I realize I'm doing it, then I relax. Also, I only seem to be able to take it laying down flat on my stomach, I tend to last only a few seconds in any other position.
And, in addition, he says that normal people do it for 15-30 minutes! ... I can't even FATHOM that! What's the secret? What am I not getting? What am I doing wrong? I just fear that, if this keeps up for another year or two without any improvements, I'm gonna be single again; and quite frankly, that scares the hell out of me. (No, he hasn't brought that up. But he has mentioned that as long as he sees that we get somewhere in time, everything's fine.)
The only suggestion he can think of is using an enema (sp?). I'm very hesitant about this because, from what it sounds like... I don't want a jetstream of water shooting up my butt, that seems like it'd hurt like heck, or at the very least feel utterly uncomfortable, like backwards diarrhea or something. But that seems to be the only possibility right now. I don't know, have you guys ever used an enema? What does it feel like?
As for me, I can only come up with three ideas, one of which is fairly whimsical. Either he just pound the heck out of me for five minutes and numb my hole that way. Use a laxative and get pretty much everything out. Or put me under with some kind of thing (like laughing gas).
I don't know, I really have no clue where to go from here.
He says that it's all in my head, that all the pain I'm experiencing is because I'm expecting pain, or something of the sort. Yet, everytime we get ready to do it I'm always thinking to myself that "this is it", "this'll be the one", "it won't hurt this time", "maybe we can do 3 minutes!". So I'm not expecting pain, I've been trying to remain optimistic this whole time.
Not to mention that one of my friend's exes said they would've left me a long time ago, so that says something about my man's patience!
Any ideas/advice? Anything we haven't tried? If you're a bottom, or perhaps even a top, what has worked for you? What hasn't? Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.
... I don't if you could tell, but this is my first official relationship.
Anyway, ok so I've been in my relationship for a year now (2 years come May) and I'm still having the utmost difficulty with anal. I'm a versatile bottom, with a preference for bottoming. And I find anal sex to be extrememly hot, but at this point it seems almost like a fetish or a fantasy.
And we've tried what seems like everything... Originally we used Astroglide, but then the people over at Castle (adult store) told us that since it's a j/o lube, it wouldn't work well; so they recommended this H2O lube which is specifically for anal. We had better results, but nothing like we'd wanted. So, we bought Anal Ease, which as it says basically numbs the hole a bit. That's helped, but still not much progress. I should also add that we've used two dildos, neither have helped a great deal.
So what's the problem? My record, after almost two years, is 2 minutes... if I'm lucky. Normally in less than a minute I'm forcing him out. Most of the time, it just plain freaking hurts. The best way I can describe it is it feels like he's taking a corkscrew, or sharpened pencils, and twisting them into my hole. Don't get me wrong, he goes slow and is very gentle, but even that isn't helping.
Other times, when I'm lucky, that pain isn't very intense and subsides after a few seconds. Then after that, usually a minute and a half, I start complaining because it feels like I have "a giant turd stuck in my butt". And then, even though there's no pain, it's just pure uncomfortable. I'd think that it should be hitting my "G-Spot" by now, but I've never felt that "orgasmic pleasure" that everyone talks about.
Another thing is that apparently, when he first sticks it in, I guess I tighten up. That's subconsious, until I realize I'm doing it, then I relax. Also, I only seem to be able to take it laying down flat on my stomach, I tend to last only a few seconds in any other position.
And, in addition, he says that normal people do it for 15-30 minutes! ... I can't even FATHOM that! What's the secret? What am I not getting? What am I doing wrong? I just fear that, if this keeps up for another year or two without any improvements, I'm gonna be single again; and quite frankly, that scares the hell out of me. (No, he hasn't brought that up. But he has mentioned that as long as he sees that we get somewhere in time, everything's fine.)
The only suggestion he can think of is using an enema (sp?). I'm very hesitant about this because, from what it sounds like... I don't want a jetstream of water shooting up my butt, that seems like it'd hurt like heck, or at the very least feel utterly uncomfortable, like backwards diarrhea or something. But that seems to be the only possibility right now. I don't know, have you guys ever used an enema? What does it feel like?
As for me, I can only come up with three ideas, one of which is fairly whimsical. Either he just pound the heck out of me for five minutes and numb my hole that way. Use a laxative and get pretty much everything out. Or put me under with some kind of thing (like laughing gas).
I don't know, I really have no clue where to go from here.
He says that it's all in my head, that all the pain I'm experiencing is because I'm expecting pain, or something of the sort. Yet, everytime we get ready to do it I'm always thinking to myself that "this is it", "this'll be the one", "it won't hurt this time", "maybe we can do 3 minutes!". So I'm not expecting pain, I've been trying to remain optimistic this whole time.
Not to mention that one of my friend's exes said they would've left me a long time ago, so that says something about my man's patience!
Any ideas/advice? Anything we haven't tried? If you're a bottom, or perhaps even a top, what has worked for you? What hasn't? Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.
... I don't if you could tell, but this is my first official relationship.
