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At the barbershop

TygreBryte

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Friday I went to the barbershop for a haircut. It was the second time I have been to this particular barbershop. The first time I went there, a woman cut my hair, and I thought it was the best haircut I had had in forever.

In this barbershop, there is a mounted deer head (common in barbershops around here), hunting/fishing prints on the walls, magazines. A table with kids stuff for t he kids to play with. Friday, I noticed there was a back room with a pool table.

So Friday I went back. This time she wasn't there, it was only the owner. As a matter of fact, when I walked in, he was the only person in the shop.

I forget exactly what it was he said first. "Ready for a haircut?" Yeah, that was probably it. And then there was something else he said, I don't remember, but anyway, by sentence two, I was picking up a little bit of a "queer" vibe, and so, in return, I was a little "relaxed" myself. Not hitting on him, mind you, just a little relaxed.

At no point did I have any intention of flirting with him, and I didn't feel interested in him. I just wanted a haircut.

This guy is probably a couple years older than me (mid-40's). There was that hint of a "gay accent." I got the impression he had been tanning. He had a good barber's ability to press his hand firmly on your shoulder, etc. I asked where his partner was; he said he'd sent her home, sick. I told him I thought she'd given me the best haircut i'd gotten in a long time, and so he started talking about how, yeah, he'd had to teach her how to "blend," and how not every barber actually knew how to cut hair, and how he'd lost a job at another shop because an older, inferior barber had accused him of "stealing" clients.

And, about how all those problems of finding a place to work, and getting his own shop, and then finding a second barber who knew how to cut hair, had all been worth it because this had all lead him to find the love of his life, the wpman he had married, when he was 45.

"I was a confirmed batchelor. When I started telling people I was getting married, they were all, 'No, not you!'" and then blah blah blah "best thing in my life ever," "best thing in my life ever," "best thing in my life ever," "best thing in my life ever," "best thing in my life ever."

I had briefly thought about mentioning my boyfriend early on, but gave up on that pretty quick. I quickly got to the point where I was thinking "will you just STFU and cut my hair?"

It wasn't nearly as good as the haircut the other barber had given me.

During his discourse about his wife, and about various positive things he was trying to do, I kept on saying, "yeah, that's great," and "yeah, that's the right way to go about life," and etc. And actually, more power to him. However, it seems "obvious" to me that this guy was "queer." While I totally accept the idea that, WHATEVER, getting married to this woman was probably a great thing for him to do, I couldn't help wondering, "Just what the hell is this conversation all about? Does he tell this story to everyone who sits down in this chair?"

I think, if I go back there, I'm going to make sure that the *other* barber is there, and I'm going to wait for her.

So what about it, boys and girls? Barbershops? Encounters with ambiguous guys where they talk about their wonderful, late-married wives?
 
what a looser. maybe that guy was rather bisexual than queer. gay hairdressers normally do their job right.
 
The guy to me just sounds confused. Not bisexual or queer. I had a hair dresser who was so gay acting, yet he had a wife and a kid and the kid clearly looked like him. I said something one day about being gay and he was really upset that I would think he was gay. Apparently I offended him.He reminded me he had a wife and kid therefore he COULDN'T be gay. I'm sure him and his wife had some arrangement, but he was not fooling anyone but himself.

This Barber kept talking rather doing his job, and theres a difference in being friendly and just talking about yourself. Since he didn't know you, I think it was sort of rude for him to carry on the way he did. If I was in your shoes I would have just come out and asked him what it was he wanted. If your confused and he's not making it clear, ask him. This way there is no speculation and it usually puts them in their place. Fact is, he was making you uncomofortable and thats not cool. Next time I'd request the 2nd barber and tell him she is the one you prefer.
 
I had a hair dresser who was so gay acting, yet he had a wife and a kid and the kid clearly looked like him. I said something one day about being gay and he was really upset that I would think he was gay. Apparently I offended him.He reminded me he had a wife and kid therefore he COULDN'T be gay. I'm sure him and his wife had some arrangement, but he was not fooling anyone but himself.

is that saying that all gay men are fem? cause there is no one "gay acting" you can say certain people are gay acting, cause of their job ie fashion designers, but they pull more model ass then i ever will. but it is considered a "gay" job,

with that said, there can be fem straight guys and fem gay/bi, and masc gay and masc straight.

it sounds like he is trying to convince you that he is in love with his wife and what not, then actually is.
 
Fascinating.

Thanks for the feedback guys.

Actually, I think it's an OK haircut. You know that "line" on your skull where underneath it, your hair behaves different than up above it? I thought he left that line kind of rough. But today, it's smoother. You know, sometimes it takes a haircut a day or two to "set."

Honestly I hesitate to put him in one cubbyhole or another regarding identity. But it's kind of bothered me, because it didn't "feel" right.

1. I walk in.

2. He says something --and I don't recall exactly what -- that makes me relax into "gay friendly."

3. He starts talking about his wife he just married.


4. I get annoyed.

He honestly *did* seem to be a positive guy.



Life is complicated!
 
But it's kind of bothered me, because it didn't "feel" right.

1. I walk in.
2. He says something --and I don't recall exactly what -- that makes me relax into "gay friendly."
3. He starts talking about his wife he just married.
4. I get annoyed.

that might say a whole lot more about you then him.
 
yes, it might.

what, do you think?
 
I'm about to graduate from beauty school and the men here are 50/50 gay/straight.

I'm the most masculine out of the other gay guys, but im nowhere near "macho"

I actually get kind of nervous with male clients. I need to work on that.
 
what, do you think?


what do i think? i think it's odd that he had to say something that you perceived as "gay friendly" for you to relax. he's a barber you spend the most 30min for him to cut your hair. and dont see him until you need to get it cut again, there is no need for him to know that your gay, married, kids, job, etc.

now about the "he talked about his wife..... i got annoyed" youre the one who started making small talk, which he then assumed he could talk about him self, and most people who just got married, what to talk about that, it's like people who just had a kid, they do nothing but talk about their kid.

or maybe you got annoyed because he was talking about his wife, and you dont have a wife or you dont feel comfortable/open enough to talk about your partner/bf


just my .02cents
 
Mascbiguy, not at all. If it came across that way, my appologies. This hairdresser was a sweet guy. This post reminded me of a similar thing. He asked me to go rollerblading with him because his wife didn't like to. He asked if I wanted to go to a certain movie, because his wife didn't want to go.He often asked me to do things and gave the excuse it was because his wife was not interested. I was only about 20 at the time and was questioning my own sexuality, so this guy really confused the hell out of me. One day I asked him about being gay and it really made him uncomofortbale. I continued going to him for about another year til I moved. He did a great job by the way, and was always kind to me and very flirtacious.

Part of my argument with gays against bi's is we're all different. I've been told that I don't fit the bi sterotype that I fall more into the gay sterotype, even though just about every gay man I know says I'm straight acting (another term I just don't get) I know straight men who I consider fem and gay men I consider butch, so labels I feel only confuses us and puts up barriers.
 
now about the "he talked about his wife..... i got annoyed" youre the one who started making small talk, which he then assumed he could talk about him self, and most people who just got married, what to talk about that, it's like people who just had a kid, they do nothing but talk about their kid.

or maybe you got annoyed because he was talking about his wife, and you dont have a wife or you dont feel comfortable/open enough to talk about your partner/bf


just my .02cents

Actually, I'm not the one who started making small talk. I was ready to sit there in the chair and just get my hair cut!

Yeah, I think that the last paragraph is part of the truth, for sure.

One thing I want to make clear: Although this encounter annoyed me, and made me feel a little uncomfortable, I totally came away with the impression that the barber is, overall, a "good human being."
 
I'm about to graduate from beauty school and the men here are 50/50 gay/straight.

I'm the most masculine out of the other gay guys, but im nowhere near "macho"

I actually get kind of nervous with male clients. I need to work on that.

*Giggle.* So, you could read that first line as "everybody here is "bi" right down the middle," or, "half of them are gay, half of thema re straight" (which is what I think you meant.)

In terms of getting nervous with male clients -- I feel for you on that one. It has helped me to develop sincere friendships with straight guys I'm out to. But generally, a new straight guy, and I'm a little on the "defensive" in terms of what to show, how soon, etc.
 
Part of my argument with gays against bi's is we're all different. I've been told that I don't fit the bi sterotype that I fall more into the gay sterotype, even though just about every gay man I know says I'm straight acting (another term I just don't get) I know straight men who I consider fem and gay men I consider butch, so labels I feel only confuses us and puts up barriers.[/SIZE][/FONT]

Yeah, I get that "you're straight acting" from gay friends, too, and I'm always amazed, because I feel like I flame in three colors at once, all the time.
 
I kind of get the feeling that he was a little confused if he should have gotten married to his wife or not, in case anyone didnt know, if you seem interested in a conversation or even if your not but the other person doesnt know that, if they want to keep talking about it they're going to.

I say that because he saw you as the listening type, maybe he just thought talking about his wife would him him get a clearer idea if he shouldve married or not. because you did say he just got married recently.

But that doesnt mean he cant be bi, because I also thinks its kind of weird when people keep constantly bringing something up like that.

Lol, but I would not have asked if he was gay or anything like that...i wouldnt want to piss off someone cutting my hair...lol.
 
Yeah, I get that "you're straight acting" from gay friends, too,


yeah i hate the whole "straight acting" thing, cause im not acting. when i go and by my self i dont change and become fem, im this way, i was this way when i was a kid, ill be this way in 20yrs, it's not an "act"
 
I kind of get the feeling that he was a little confused if he should have gotten married to his wife or not, in case anyone didnt know, if you seem interested in a conversation or even if your not but the other person doesnt know that, if they want to keep talking about it they're going to.

I say that because he saw you as the listening type, maybe he just thought talking about his wife would him him get a clearer idea if he shouldve married or not. because you did say he just got married recently.

But that doesnt mean he cant be bi, because I also thinks its kind of weird when people keep constantly bringing something up like that.

Lol, but I would not have asked if he was gay or anything like that...i wouldnt want to piss off someone cutting my hair...lol.

That's interesting. I keep on coming back to this: there was a lot about the situation that was "ambiguous." I guess in a few weeks I will have figured out whether or not I'm going back there or not.
 
And then there was something else he said, I don't remember, but anyway, by sentence two, I was picking up a little bit of a "queer" vibe, and so, in return, I was a little "relaxed" myself. Not hitting on him, mind you, just a little relaxed.

At no point did I have any intention of flirting with him, and I didn't feel interested in him. I just wanted a haircut.

This guy is probably a couple years older than me (mid-40's). There was that hint of a "gay accent." I

Gay accent? Queer vibe?
 
will be away from a computer from Jan 2 to 6.
 
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