At what age did you accept your sexuality?

[hothunk222]

Hey, I was a professional denial-er in my day.

The stories I told myself. OMG. How ridiculous.

HOW ridiculous ?

 

[Lube]

HOW ridiculous ?

I'm not gay because I'm monogamous.
I'm not gay because I want a family/kids.
I'm not gay because I don't act like them (yet I had a Duran Duran poster in my dorm room!)
I'm not gay because I don't like twinks (ah, but if I had known about Bears!)
I'm not gay because I've never actually had sex with a man (oh, but if I had, I'd've known instantly!)

Just stupid shit like that. Absurd in retrospect.

 

[Luka]

excepted it when i was a sophmore in high school, came out and started meeting guys when i was 20

 

[HeyyJude]

I still haven't accepted.

 

[Stitch627]

I still don't know

 

[dktechno]

20, just a couple of weeks ago actually. I think I knew I was for the longest time but I still wanted to have kids and a family and be a dad and that is probably the only reason I would be with a woman now.

 

[1208Rob]

Looking back I've always liked boys, but I didn't start fantasizing about it until I was like 11 or 12, then I was in denial until about 16...I never really came out, it wasn't necessary. Everyone knew. My family never had a problem with it, nor my friends. It just happened. I'm lucky, I guess. But yeah I guess I was about 17. Only three and a half years ago!

 

[Pathfinder]

Never had a denial phase tbh. I am one of those who always knew, even from a kinder garden age, that they were somehow different. Having a "friend with benefits" from the age of 10 certainly had its impact on not struggling if i'm gay or not, haha.

Even though i knew i was gay, i was never sure whether i wanted to live my life as a gay person, or a "straight" person.

Now i know, and my life can finally fu*kin begin. ;D

 

[jackry]

accept your sexuality ? let me worry about my hair line 1st

 

[ncboy85]

I remember having crushes/being attracted to males as early as 12 or 13.
Started to really figure out what those feelings meant around 16 but was in heavy denial. Really tried not to think about it.

Got to college and had the freedom to explore things on the internet and socially and realized at 19 that I was in fact gay. A few weeks later I started to accept it. I tried to convince myself for a couple years that I might be bi, as I wanted to have the typical "normal" family to make my parents happy, and am involved in my church which is anti-gay.

Between last year (22) and now I have learned that I am not going to change and that I am quite happy with who I am, I am still struggling a little to come to terms with what's right as far as my religion goes. Have started in this last year to talk to guys online and such, as I've never been in a gay relationship. I am at the point where I would be ready to come out to family and others I trust but certain circumstances in my life and career choice right now are putting that on hold for awhile.

 

[The_Reaper]

13 when it donned on me that I was gay; had one sleepless night over a struggle with my conscience but then eventually got tired, told myself to just accept it, then proceeded to promptly pass out.

And I haven't looked back since.

 

[ariesstar89]

Well, I knew that something was different back when I was 10 or so, but never knew quite what it was. While most of my friends started talkin about girls and stuff around 13, I knew that my enthusiasm about girls wasn't as strong as their's was. By 16 I knew what it all meant, and started my denial phase....But as recent as last summer, I finally accepted my sexuality, and began to finally feel better about my life. So I guess my answer is 19...

 

[buddy1970]

I tried to convince myself for a couple years that I might be bi, as I wanted to have the typical "normal" family to make my parents happy, and am involved in my church which is anti-gay.

Wow, ncboy85! Lucky you! I also come from a religion (Mormonism) that is anti-gay. They had me mentally hooked on their 19-century mythology until just this past summer. I'm 38 (will be 39 next month), so that's how much time they took away from my ability to enjoy being gay, and to enjoy being sexual. I wish I had learned the truth much earlier. I could've had a lot more fun!

As you can see, hothunk222, the process is quite varied and complicated. I would suggest simply being his friend no matter what he decides, and no matter how many times he changes his mind. (I actually have a socially conservative Christian friend who has done that for me. We are friends even though we no longer agree morally or religiously.)

 

[CoolguyAT]

I accepted it right around my 21st birthday when I was a sophomore in college.

 

[hothunk222]

Never had a denial phase tbh. I am one of those who always knew, even from a kinder garden age, that they were somehow different. Having a "friend with benefits" from the age of 10 certainly had its impact on not struggling if i'm gay or not, haha.

Even though i knew i was gay, i was never sure whether i wanted to live my life as a gay person, or a "straight" person.

Now i know, and my life can finally fu*kin begin. ;D

Funny our experience is almost the same I also never really went through a denial phase either, I knew I was gay and attracted to males and indulged in this attraction with my 10yr old "weird" friend lol. However, it was a lot harder to accept that I would probably not grow up and have that wife and that family and THAT "normal" lifestyle that we are all programed to strive for.

 

[hothunk222]

sup. first post here. cool place. i've been reading here a while, helped me through my denial/accepting phase about a year ago. Finally decided to register.

It was when I aws 21. Hard times those. Not many people know and the ones that know didn't believe me (they thought it was a joke).

I may have passed through the same as your friend, but once you accept that it's the way you are, it gets better -sorta... it's not perfect but you learn to live with it.

Awesome! Reading through this website also helped me learn to accept myself. At first, it was just the porn that attracted me to this website, lol, but then I found something better and that is, this great network of awesome people with similar life experiences.

Congrats on accepting who you are!
and welcome to JUB.

 

[hothunk222]

I remember having crushes/being attracted to males as early as 12 or 13.
Started to really figure out what those feelings meant around 16 but was in heavy denial. Really tried not to think about it.

Got to college and had the freedom to explore things on the internet and socially and realized at 19 that I was in fact gay. A few weeks later I started to accept it. I tried to convince myself for a couple years that I might be bi, as I wanted to have the typical "normal" family to make my parents happy, and am involved in my church which is anti-gay.

Between last year (22) and now I have learned that I am not going to change and that I am quite happy with who I am, I am still struggling a little to come to terms with what's right as far as my religion goes. Have started in this last year to talk to guys online and such, as I've never been in a gay relationship. I am at the point where I would be ready to come out to family and others I trust but certain circumstances in my life and career choice right now are putting that on hold for awhile.

Wow, I hope everything turns out good! Good luck with everything!

 

[hothunk222]

13 when it donned on me that I was gay; had one sleepless night over a struggle with my conscience but then eventually got tired, told myself to just accept it, then proceeded to promptly pass out.

And I haven't looked back since.

Wow, it was just quick and easy like that?

 

[hothunk222]

Well, I knew that something was different back when I was 10 or so, but never knew quite what it was. While most of my friends started talkin about girls and stuff around 13, I knew that my enthusiasm about girls wasn't as strong as their's was. By 16 I knew what it all meant, and started my denial phase....But as recent as last summer, I finally accepted my sexuality, and began to finally feel better about my life. So I guess my answer is 19...

Awesome! Goodluck.

Wow, ncboy85! Lucky you! I also come from a religion (Mormonism) that is anti-gay. They had me mentally hooked on their 19-century mythology until just this past summer. I'm 38 (will be 39 next month), so that's how much time they took away from my ability to enjoy being gay, and to enjoy being sexual. I wish I had learned the truth much earlier. I could've had a lot more fun!

As you can see, hothunk222, the process is quite varied and complicated. I would suggest simply being his friend no matter what he decides, and no matter how many times he changes his mind. (I actually have a socially conservative Christian friend who has done that for me. We are friends even though we no longer agree morally or religiously.)

WOW! That is a loooong time to be in denial but better late than never, and yes I will be his friend no matter what!

I accepted it right around my 21st birthday when I was a sophomore in college.

Hmmmm, I accepted myself much sooner but having my 21st birthday pushed me into finally having the courage to come out to all my friends just a few weeks ago, they accepted me completely .

Goodluck with your journey!

The first time I tried coming out, I was 22, but got scared back into the closet thinking I'd lose my surrogate family and thereby have no one in my corner.

The second, and more successful time, after experiencing an illuminating dream, I was 47.

Wow, pianist that is a really long time to be in denial, that makes me really sad. I hope everything is better for you now.

 

[rainman256]

I guess I'm a late bloomer compared to the rest of the posts I've read, with the exception of a few. I didn't really accept my sexuality until about a year and a half ago. I was 29. I suppressed my feelings for men all my life. I knew I liked guys in grade school, but I was also attracted to women. So, long story short, after suppressing my feelings for men for so long in order to "fit" better in society (or so I thought), it finally got to the point where I said to myself, "These feelings aren't going to go away, so you need to deal with them." So I thought about it a lot and finally accepted the fact that I was bi. It was a struggle, I won't lie. It was really hard to accept it and come to terms with it, but honestly, you come out a better person, stronger in who you are, and more confident. Like everyone else says, don't try to force him (which I don't think you would, hothunk, you sound like you genuinely care and you sound like a fantastic friend to have). I guess it's like making bread -- some dough rises faster than others.