At what point should loyalty begin?

[DerKanzler]

At what period in a relationship should you start being loyal to exclusively the other person?

At the early, both of you flirting stage?

Or the going on a few dates but not "Dating" stage?

Then I suppose there is "dating" but not a serious relationship stage?

Or do you have to wait until a serious relationship you both say you love each other or whatever criteria you use?

Just curious about people's views on this.

 

[G-Lexington]

I'm assuming by "loyal", you mean "exclusive". As in "not dating/sleeping with others". In which case, it depends completely and totally on the people involved. Some demand/expect loyalty from the get-go. Others don't ever demand/expect it.

My personal take is that once I start having sex with a guy, and we're "dating" (to wit, this isn't a convenien hook-up sort of thing), then I'd like it to be exclusive. If he doesn't feel that way, then I probably wouldn't start having sex with him. That's my own insecurity coming in to play, though.

Lex

 

[tonyboy]

At what period in a relationship should you start being loyal to exclusively the other person?

At the early, both of you flirting stage?

Or the going on a few dates but not "Dating" stage?

Then I suppose there is "dating" but not a serious relationship stage?

Or do you have to wait until a serious relationship you both say you love each other or whatever criteria you use?

Just curious about people's views on this.

You will know it when the time is right.
Of course the dating stage is just that.... getting to know each other. It doesn't mean that you cannot see other people, that is what dating is all about after all.

Just be sure you talk about it with your partner before you decide to be exclusive. Just cause you figure you want to be doesn't mean he will want to be.
And guys are notorious for being 'non exclusive'.... just our makeup.
Not that they are not thousands of guys that can be exclusive.... just that the younger your partner is the more likely he will stray. You know.... the horny, testorone thing all us guys are born with.

I may be a bit jaded friend, but just saying the words 'I love you' doesn't really mean shit unless those words are backed up in fact and action (and I don't mean just making love). It's easy to say those words. Much harder to stand behind them.
And fact is it's all a crapshoot anyway. Could be that your b/f will use those words and stand behind them. Then out of the blue he (or you) could meet someone else and fall completley in love with them.
Damned tough I know. But that's how it is.

 

[KaraBulut]

There is no one answer- the "decision point" is different for every person and for every relationship.

At some point in the relationship, you should have "the talk" about whether it's casual or serious. That's usually when the two of you will decide whether you're "exclusive" or just casually dating.

Communication. Communication. Communication.

 

[3nipples]

I expect loyalty and respect from the beginning of a relationship but not sexual fidelity (which I don't ever require).

 

[waynemm]

There is no one answer- the "decision point" is different for every person and for every relationship.

At some point in the relationship, you should have "the talk" about whether it's casual or serious. That's usually when the two of you will decide whether you're "exclusive" or just casually dating.

Communication. Communication. Communication.

Preach it brutha!

I agree totally. And I feel it's something that both of you need to agree upon, because it doesn't necessarily mean both of you'll have the same requirements.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Loyalty/exclusiveness begins with Communication. You talk, you share how you feel about each other, what you think about the future, etc. Don't assume anything unless you've spoken to the other guy about it.

Unfortunately for gay guys, sex, feelings, and emotions always come first before the relationship part.

 

[rareboy]

I agree with everyone who counsel being open and honest with each other. That is loyalty.

If passion and adoration haven't made each of you only have eyes for the other, no big deal. It may still be a very rewarding relationship on other levels.