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I'm in no way trying to start an argument with you or anything like that, I just want a little clarification. Are you saying that it's wrong to lust after straight men? Or is there a difference between being attracted to a straight guy and having lust for a straight guy. Again, not looking for a fight or saying that you're wrong, just trying to understand.
I'm in no way trying to start an argument with you or anything like that, I just want a little clarification. Are you saying that it's wrong to lust after straight men? Or is there a difference between being attracted to a straight guy and having lust for a straight guy. Again, not looking for a fight or saying that you're wrong, just trying to understand.
Thank you for being diplomatic
The way I see it, saying "wow, this guy is hot" is perfectly normal, regardless of the guy's orientation - perceived or real. However, what I believe to be healthy, is having this thought be purely intellectual. What I am arguing against is fantasizing about straight guys and wanting to do stuff with them, and raising them on some "better than gay" pedestal. That I find to be incredibly emotionally and psychologically damaging, both for those who have the feelings, and for gay culture in general.
And not just because straight men aren't in any way more attractive than gays (quite the opposite really), this is a matter of taste I guess. But because - when it's not an expression of the "Ugh, I'm closeted and don't want to deal with real interaction, so I'll quietly suffer over the unattainable dude" syndrome, it comes equipped with justifications that are extremely offensive and damaging to us as a demographic.
How, in the WORLD are straight guys more "masculine" than us? How is masculinity even measured? True, there are the bar scene femme boys, but those are a small percentage. Outside that, EVERY MALE is "masculine". How do you quantify masculinity at all? How do you distinguish between types of masculinity? To propagate the thought that straight men are somehow "more" masculine is self-degrading and enforces the subconscious concept of "gay = wrong, straight = awesome", which we need to consciously stay clear of.
I am yet to meet a straight guy as hot, sexy and attractive as some gay guys I've been with. The very knowledge that your lust and/or feelings could potentially be reciprocated makes so much of the actual appeal of a person, that it is unfathomable to me how someone could fantasize about people who are often even physically and certainly emotionally incapable of wanting them.
And to say that fetishizing straight boys isn't a rampant problem in the gay community is to close your eyes for the obvious.
I think you're being too idealistic on the subject. I've never met a straight man who was even slightly effeminate. In contrast, there are lots of examples of effeminate gay men. It would be fallacious to suggest that gays who display effeminacy are only few and far between. In fact, there seems to be a spectrum of effeminacy among gay men. Why do you think some gay men describe themselves as "You wouldn't be able to tell that I'm gay if you met me"?
And there are many, many other similar types of porn videos geared toward gay men that feature "straight" men. Jake Cruise and lots of other examples. What does that tell you? That there's an interest and a demand for that type of product.
