I spent most of August not taking antidepressants. I was prescribed Mirtazapine those past few months. It was an interesting month being just myself again. I met my ex-boyfriend after 4 years of not seeing each other. He moved overseas for work and is here for vacation. I tried to contact another ex if he wanted to watch a movie that I really wanted to watch. I also hadn't seen him in years. He didn't want to so I watched by myself and ended up getting stuck in the rain.
I went to a gay club for the first time in a few years. I met some interesting people to talk to but I did end up falling once after 9 beers and 3 vodka tonics. I reinstalled grindr after two years impulsively when I was feeling a bit depressed after buying groceries. I met a nice guy a few hours after installing and we went to a bar and then had sex in his condo. I met another guy a few days later and had sex at a cheap motel. I left after a few hours to have sex again with the first guy I met on grindr. I uninstalled it after a week. I just didn't want to have the distraction of wanting and looking for sex all the time.
I'm on another app I use. It's based in another country so I basically use it to chat. This guy from the Netherlands kept messaging and chatting with me everyday for two weeks. I was also keeping in touch with the first guy I met on grindr. The last week of August, I decided to start taking antidepressants again. My therapist prescribed me Lexapro this time. Since I've been chatting and talking to those two guys for two weeks everyday, I decided to tell them I started taking Lexapro for my OCD. I figured OCD is less scarier than saying anxiety and depression. That was the first time I told people I barely knew, just because I wanted to be honest.
I think the guy from the Netherlands blocked me after that. The guy from grindr still keeps in touch but doesn't message me everyday like he used to. I guess I should just wait longer to tell people my mental health issues. I've been on Lexapro a week now. I have side effects like stomach problems, tiredness and jaw clenching but I'm not hungry all the time like I was with Mirtazapine. I don't feel any emotional differences so far since I feel the physical side effects more.
I generally enjoyed being myself this month without antidepressants. I just know that I still only socialized those times by drinking all the time and I was just constantly distracting myself with impulsive things. I figured I'd try antidepressants again to try and deal with my issues. I guess the antidepressants have made me start writing in this blog again.
I went to a gay club for the first time in a few years. I met some interesting people to talk to but I did end up falling once after 9 beers and 3 vodka tonics. I reinstalled grindr after two years impulsively when I was feeling a bit depressed after buying groceries. I met a nice guy a few hours after installing and we went to a bar and then had sex in his condo. I met another guy a few days later and had sex at a cheap motel. I left after a few hours to have sex again with the first guy I met on grindr. I uninstalled it after a week. I just didn't want to have the distraction of wanting and looking for sex all the time.
I'm on another app I use. It's based in another country so I basically use it to chat. This guy from the Netherlands kept messaging and chatting with me everyday for two weeks. I was also keeping in touch with the first guy I met on grindr. The last week of August, I decided to start taking antidepressants again. My therapist prescribed me Lexapro this time. Since I've been chatting and talking to those two guys for two weeks everyday, I decided to tell them I started taking Lexapro for my OCD. I figured OCD is less scarier than saying anxiety and depression. That was the first time I told people I barely knew, just because I wanted to be honest.
I think the guy from the Netherlands blocked me after that. The guy from grindr still keeps in touch but doesn't message me everyday like he used to. I guess I should just wait longer to tell people my mental health issues. I've been on Lexapro a week now. I have side effects like stomach problems, tiredness and jaw clenching but I'm not hungry all the time like I was with Mirtazapine. I don't feel any emotional differences so far since I feel the physical side effects more.
I generally enjoyed being myself this month without antidepressants. I just know that I still only socialized those times by drinking all the time and I was just constantly distracting myself with impulsive things. I figured I'd try antidepressants again to try and deal with my issues. I guess the antidepressants have made me start writing in this blog again.