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Backing out of sex.

Sunshine

Sunshine

all of this wasted pain..
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Hmm, where to begin....

I've known this really awesome guy for about 2 years and we've been hanging out like everyday for the past 4 months. I like him alot like..almost border lining love....Okay maybe not love. I just have a VERY high affinity for him... Recently we've been getting kind of physical. Just like..alot of over the clothes feeling and a little kissing....Okay alot of kissing. My friends are usually forcing us apart... The thing is everytime he asks me about sex I'm usually in a really "good" mood and I agree to it but when it actually comes the time to do something I back out of it. I don't know if its because I'm a virgin or what... I just don't think he's the guy I want to throw it all away for....Keeping your virginity doesn't really mean a damn thing in gay society except you're a prude so...maybe I'm just looking into it too much.

Maybe I just shouldn't see him anymore...I don't think he will be around for very long anyways.

I just don't want to be alone.

Ugh, mental break down time....
 
Sunshine said:
I don't think I will ever be ready for him.
Click to expand...

Um, then "let's just be friends" is about the way to go. And you'll probably not see him much again. But how can you NEVER be ready for him if you borderline love him?? Figure your own feelings out before anything else.(*8*)
 
Sunshine said:
I don't think I will ever be ready for him.
Click to expand...

Will you never be ready for him specifically, or never be ready in general? Don't rush yourself, but don't close yourself off either. The way you talk about this guy doesn't seem to jive with the way you're acting. Good luck with that struggle. ;) At least you have a guy to struggle with!
 
I think you should tell him that you don't really wanna have sex because it's a big deal for you and you feel that it's too important to throw it all away. Congrats on still being a virgin...I somewhat regret starting at such a young age but then again...it felt good, lol. But yeah, umm, like I said, congrats on guarding your "cardinal treausre" Not all of us gay hoes can do that :D
 
Sunshine said:
I don't think I will ever be ready for him.
Click to expand...

Then why do you agree to it when you're in a good mood?

Even if unintentionally, you're being deceitful and hurtful by misleading him.

That's unkind to do to anybody, but it really makes no sense if you think this is a really awesome guy you like a lot bordering on love. Don't you feel any obligation at all to treat him and his feelings with respect?
 
I think you are using sex, either knowingly or subconciously as a passive/aggressive tool.

You're the one who's going to throw his legs open, so none of us can tell you when it is right or when to do it, but if you haven't felt like ripping off his clothes and fucking him on the kitchen table every time he kisses you, then I don't think he's the one.

....but remember all the other stuff you've posted. I don't think this is about him. I think this is all about you and your aversion to sexual intimacy.
 
It's hard to read some of these post's because they make so much sense.
I don't want him to think I'm misleading him I just don't know how to explain myself. I think when I say borderlining love I mean like...very bestfriends...I just don't feel like I'm in any kind of a relationship he's just there. He's always comming onto me I never do it to him...He's never told me he's loved me but I've told him and I think I made a mistake. I think he took it the wrong way.

I'm supposed to see him today and...I don't think I can go.
 
I think you HAVE to go. You've put yourself into a position, and now it's up to you to extract yourself.

Talk to him. Put all the blame and problems on you. Don't get on his case about anything. Just say, "When we're making out, it's fun. But I don't really want to have sex. The only reason I agree is that I think it's because you want it - I really don't. It's not you at all. I just have this major hang up about having sex, for some reason. I'm trying to work through it, but I think it's only fair to let you know what's going on."

Lex
 
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