Bad breath

[Laboyes]

I'm currently seeing this guy who fits what I'm looking for in another rather well.

Except that his breath has been bad each time we've met. Personal hygiene is quite important to me, and sometimes it feels unpleasant to consider kissing because I can smell his breath. I "fell out of love" with my last girlfriend a while ago in part due to the fact that when we were kissing her breath smelled rank, and I don't want that to happen now.

So far my attempt to improve the quality of his breath extends only to:
1.) Carrying gum around and chewing it and offering it to him before making any suggestion to kiss
2.) Visiting food places (despite hefty distances at times) to at least make sure that I'll taste food rather than something I refuse to think about
3.) Maintaining my own hygiene with a newfound neurotic vigor
Also, when I suspected that the guy I was seeing a bit ago was showering infrequently I made a point of smelling stuff when we were out together. He caught me smelling his hair one night, and that situation basically resolved itself. I'm going to start along that route with high hopes.

I just woke up from drug induced sleep after our most recent date and could literally taste him in a manner that could never be complimentary. This alone makes the relationship unsustainable. So, how do I non-rudely change this situation if all else fails?

 

[Seasoned]

If it's going to end if you don't say anything why not just tell him in the most gentle way possible. Is he brushing his teeth? Does he have gum issues? There can also be other medical reasons for bad breath.

 

[mcbrion]

I had this issue with a gentleman I dated a few years ago. He gargled, brushed his teeth, but by the time he got into bed, the bad breath was back (and that's about the only smell on the human body I find objectionable). I finally researched and found a probiotic that's used for bad breath.

"Using an S. salivarius K12 probiotic on a consistent basis can increase the levels of the beneficial S. salivarius bacteria in the mouth. As these microbes affix themselves to epithelial cells (cells that line the major cavities of your body, like your mouth), they can quickly travel and spread, restoring the balance of beneficial bacteria needed to effectively reduce bad breath by inhibiting the growth of VSC-producing bacteria." The actual bacteria that contributes to bad breath is Streptococcus salivarius. Just look for a probiotic that fights this.

It worked - almost instantly. The mouth dries out quickly from the alcohol in mouth wash, so it's not effective for someone who has really bad breath. I forgot the actual strain of bacteria that causes it, but you can look it up, and politely suggest he buy it. (or present him with a "gift" of it). If he likes you, I'm sure he might be momentarily embarrassed, but also grateful.

Here's a link to a site that explains it better than I could:
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/777316_4

 

[Laboyes]

…The actual bacteria that contributes to bad breath is Streptococcus salivarius.

I'm not sure whether I'm misreading the thing you posted and the few NCBI abstracts I've read on the subject, but it appears to me as though S. Salivarius is the solution rather than the issue. I still don't know how to politely inform him that the dreadful scent which emanates from his oral cavity is actively making me less attracted to him.

…tell him in the most gentle way possible. Is he brushing his teeth? Does he have gum issues? There can also be other medical reasons for bad breath.

Very fair points. Gently probing will be hard for me, though, because I find it difficult to do things I know will hurt people. I know I've got to do it soon.

 

[Laboyes]

S. salivarius*

I swear I'm not an idiot. Autocorrect must have capitalized it after the damned period.

 

[mcbrion]

I'm not sure whether I'm misreading the thing you posted and the few NCBI abstracts I've read on the subject, but it appears to me as though S. Salivarius is the solution rather than the issue. I still don't know how to politely inform him that the dreadful scent which emanates from his oral cavity is actively making me less attracted to him.



Very fair points. Gently probing will be hard for me, though, because I find it difficult to do things I know will hurt people. I know I've got to do it soon.

Right. I meant to paste just the "streptococcus" as the bacteria, not the K-12 probiotic. Thanks, I'm sure that was confusing.

 

[neditesjamais]

I hope you've found a way to bring this up to him--for both your sakes.

It's possible he has a low-grade oral infection or abscessed tooth, either of which could be causing the problem. I'm stupidly stubborn when it comes to dentists and have lived for months with infected teeth before giving in to have them fixed. And, yeah, I had "death breath" some of that time.

You might try broaching the topic something like this: "I really enjoy spending time with you and I've noticed that you really fight a battle with bad breath. No matter what you try, it just hangs on. Is it possible you have a bad tooth or a gum infection? I'd hate to see you get really sick from it."

The strategy here is to let him know that you've noticed he's doing something but losing "the battle." And you show concern about his general health, too. And put yourself on his side.

I love your posts! You are so honest and willing to share. I hope you use that honesty and willingness with this guy, too. ;-)

ned