Bad decision with a sort of friend.

[AlmondMilk]

I suppose making this thread will make even more people hate me. We'll see.

So I know this guy (I'll call him Al). We've known each other for awhile now. I'd say it's been a couple of years since we met. We chat every once in a while. Lately, though, he has been dodging my messages. He's a pretty busy guy, and I guess Mr. Popular. When ever he's off, he always has plans. I'll ask him when we get to hang, and he'll reply with, "when I'm off." It's been months.

Anyway, Al talked to me about his friend. In facebook terms, "it's complicated" between the two. For awhile they seemed to be friends with benefits even though Al did not like that term.

Al found my account on xtube, and we added each other. I didn't really think twice about it. I'd find some porn, and then I'd share it with him. He showed me his friend's account around last year. I watched the video, but I wasn't really interested.

A couple of weeks ago I got him to talk to me. I asked how his relationship was going, and he said it was fine. On xtube I found out that there were quite a few number of guys who were from my area. I started to do a mass friend request. And, you probably guessed it, I added Al's friend. It's been awhile, but I figured it wouldn't hurt. A couple of days pass. This afternoon I just got a message on AIM saying something along the lines of, "You're really grimy. I can't believe what you did." I replied and asked what I did. A couple of minutes later I sign on to Facebook. I thought he might've updated his status around the same time he sent that message. And he did. He wrote, "Some people are just f'd up." He gives me a warning via message on facebook and says something like "Delete him as your friend on xtube or I'll beat your ass." So, I proceeded to just delete the xtube. Xtube got way too complicated, and I figured that deleting the friend wouldn't even make everything better. Since I couldn't even figure out how to delete friends, I just deleted my account. I tell him it's all deleted via AIM. He tells me he sees that I'm still friends with him, online, and must've blocked him (Al). I told him I didn't block him, and that xtube is really slow in regards to updating shit.

So yeah, he continues to tell me I'm fucked up. I told him it was a fucked up thing to do because I assumed things were going well with him and the friend again. So the fact that I did it means I lost a friend who really wasn't a friend in the first place.

I guess I was asking for it, but it's xtube. I just can't seem to take that stuff seriously.

Back to high school, I suppose.

Maybe it's for the better. I mean, we'd get into these arguments, but for whatever reason I'd get back to talking to him. Not a really good combination for a friendship.

I'm just going around in circles in my head right now. I shouldn't have sent that request, but at the same time I'm telling myself that it was harmless. I suppose my problem is just seeing the reality of the situation. So tell me what you think. I'll bear myself.

 

[nycguydowntown]

sounds like he thinks he's hot shit--he doesn't seem to treat you well, so fuck him---unless you have a thing for him--

 

[Seasoned]

Friends don't try to control friends. I think he is overbearing. You have told him that you deleted your account and he doesn't want to listen or believe you. That sounds to me like a friend behaving badly. I'm sorry you're losing a friend, but in the end it may have been more grief keeping him.

 

[medic1]

Almondmilk you have done fuck all wrong he seems the one with self-security
issues .
I have read many ,many of your posts and you come across as a very loyal , secure and happy in yourself type of person.
Please dont let 1 asshole dealing with his insecurities affect the way you live your
life . n

 

[AlmondMilk]

Thank you, everyone. It really does mean a lot.

And thanks, medic1! I'm working on the secure part.

 

[Georgiadude]

I dont think your losing anything at all. the guy sounds like a jackass. he treated you terribly. only answered your messages when it was convenient for him. then threatens to "beat your ass" if you dont do what he demands you do. some "friend". dont bother contacting him any more. delete/block him. if you happen to run into him, just walk away. he's not worth your time or emotions. In the unlikely event he contacts you Id either ignore him or tell him to go pound sand. he's not a friend. hes an asshole.

Steven.

 

[FuryOfFirestorm]

I don't have ill feelings toward you, AM- in fact, I think you write some really good posts on JUB.

Real friends don't force you to what they want, nor should they have control over who you choose to associate with. You befriended his "boyfriend" (by accident), and he flips out? WTF? Dude sounds like an insecure psycho. DTMFA.

(BTW- I loved your old avatar. Was that Chloe from 24?)

 

[TX-Beau]

Yeah, I wouldn't have deleted any accounts, I'd have blocked him.

 

[TX-Beau]

Well, I'd have asked him first if he was serious with his threats - on the off chance he was joking (who can tell through the net) then when he said yes, then I'd have blocked him.

 

[AlmondMilk]

he's not a friend. hes an asshole.

Steven.

Seriously. As I think about it, I have no idea why I didn't stick up for myself. I mean, he can't tell me who I'm friends with. He doesn't own me. But what's done is done. If he does want to start talking again, I'm just going to decline that invitation. This "friendship" was pretty destructive now that I look back.

I don't have ill feelings toward you, AM- in fact, I think you write some really good posts on JUB.

Real friends don't force you to what they want, nor should they have control over who you choose to associate with. You befriended his "boyfriend" (by accident), and he flips out? WTF? Dude sounds like an insecure psycho. DTMFA.

(BTW- I loved your old avatar. Was that Chloe from 24?)

Nope, that's Ramona Singer. She's the best model ever! Look at those eyes. Her glare just pierces through anyone's soul! She has the best "I don't give a fck because I'm rich and hawt" attitude on the Real Housewives of NYC.

Well, I'd have asked him first if he was serious with his threats - on the off chance he was joking (who can tell through the net) then when he said yes, then I'd have blocked him.

Yeah, he might've been serious. Without going into too many details, the guy had some serious problems, which he'd overcome.

Once again, I thank you all for your kindness. I guess I'll have to trust my gut instead of being undecided and second guessing myself.

 

[Georgiadude]

glad you've decided to not answer if he contacts you again. Now be sure to follow through with it and not reply. we see it over and over again around here. guys keep returning for more pain and torture.

walk away, run away most of all, stay away.

hope all works out for you.

Steven.

 

[AlmondMilk]

glad you've decided to not answer if he contacts you again. Now be sure to follow through with it and not reply. we see it over and over again around here. guys keep returning for more pain and torture.

walk away, run away most of all, stay away.

hope all works out for you.

Steven.

I'm done with it. If he wants to play that mind game, so be it. I quit that game. I've put up with him for so long. I have better uses of my time.