Badly burned by dating experience

[strokes630]

So I was recently burned by a bad dating experience and am unable to shake it.
Here’s the story:

I met this guy online. He was sooo hot and met a lot of what I am looking for in a guy. We emailed several times back and forth…really clicking well. We talked on the phone…also clicking well. Our first date was for 8 hours! He left the ball inmy court on weather we were to see each other again. HE immediately texted back that night saying he wanted to see me again. I called the next day to plan date 2. Before Date 2 we texted and chatted a few times. He then texted me worried that I am not out to my family yet and was worried about moving further with me. I thought this was odd since this was only our 2nd date, but decided to over look it. So we had a great time on the second date…lots of flirting…I got to see his house…etc. He immediately texted back to me that he had a good time. I tried to set the 3rd date with him…but he had plans. I understood.


So I texted him before the weekend to wish him a good holiday weekend. He said he looked forward to our next meeting.

Then the very next day he texted me to say that he’s enjoyed meeting me but met someone and they’ve decided to exclusively date. Out of the blue…dropped like that. I would be fine if there were signs, but why did he mislead me? I called him and left a voicemail more our less telling him off. I hope dating karma gets him back.

I am still not over it guys. Definitely one of my worst heartbreaks.

 

[strokes630]

Well--it seems that he was probably going on dates with other guys at the same time, and he found someone he likes a bit more than you.

It's alright though. That happens sometimes...

Some guys make better connections together and feel more of that 'spark' with one another.

Don't look at it as if you've been dissed or anything. He just found someone that works better for him.

As will you in due time.

Ya but...he lead me on...he told me that there was no other guy he was currently dating.

 

[VenomGGXX]

That is royally fucked up. If he didn't want to be with you, he should have said he was aleady dating someone else. Don't worry, he'll wish he had hooked up with you one day.

 

[treanir]

I hate being Little Miss Cynical, but...

he found someone he likes a bit more than you. (...) That happens [STRIKE]sometimes[/STRIKE] a lot...

Fixed for accuracy.

Sadly, what you experienced happens quite often. The dating game is characterised by fuckwittage, drama, backstabbery, lying etc. But there are plenty of honest ones out there and truthfully, they're the only ones worth your time.

Better luck next time.

 

[Madmen]

Buddy,

I'm sorry to hear about this experience, but from experience, I have to say you'll meet a couple of dudes. You come away hurting, but in the long run "what doesn't break you makes you stronger."

I'm in my forties and about 12-13 years ago, I met this guy - I don't recall where (internet was in the early stages then, so I think I just met him at a park in DC). We had one date which went pretty well. We talked and laughed and over all had a great time. We made plans to meet up the following weekend. During the course of that week, we spoke to each other and firmed up plans. That weekend, I drove to his house to pick him up. I rang the door bell about 5 times and waited on his stoop for about 30 minutes. I saw the curtains on the second floor wave a little like someone had just peered out. I finally left devastated. I saw him months later and he looked at me like he knew me and then looked away. Trying to be the bigger person, I let it go and didn't say a word.

I know this won't serve as comfort to you, but people have their problems. Just feel lucky you didn't go any further than you did. Sure you'll shed some tears and you'll be miserable for a little while, but in a few weeks you'll regain the person you were and will be busy meeting people again.

Tips:
1. Don't give it all away on the first date - physically or mentally.
2. Proceed with a certain amount of caution - as much as it should be about the heart, you have to use your brain and really think about it rather than to "feel" it is right.
3. Be comfortable with yourself.

Can't say I'm an expert or anything like that, but I've gone through my fill and I wish I had someone to be my mentor when I was growing up.

Good luck and be safe,

Chip

 

[SonOfSlobone]

That's why gay men shouldn't "date". Just cut straight to the sex. Then if it doesn't work out, at least you got laid...

 

[Homothug]

Ya but...he lead me on...he told me that there was no other guy he was currently dating.

Well ofcorse He is going to say that. people lie to each other a bit when they first meet each other (dating wise).

You shouldn't feel bad alot of people who date don't date one person at a time.

 

[Sunshine]

Ah..puppy love.











I'm so glad I can say that now.

 

[Sunshine]

That's why gay men shouldn't "date". Just cut straight to the sex. Then if it doesn't work out, at least you got laid...

.... there is no one on JUB I would rather punch in the nuts, other than you.

 

[Curiosities]

Ooh babe, I'm sorry.

But, we tend to be blind when we're in love, maybe there were signs that you missed...what's important is that you at least had the experience!

I, for one, never really had a real proper relationship, so you're one step ahead of me at least

 

[treanir]

LOL...I wouldn't say it happens a lot, but I can see that it's something you feel rather strongly about.
Guys can be so confusing, complicated, and downright bullshitters.

Like the OP, it's best not to let it get to you because it's nothing any of us can do about it.

If nice honest guys like you exists...there's bound to be more out there.

Cheers.
The nice guys all seem to be on the other side of the world. The fucknuts are all over here.

Yes, I do feel strongly about this. Possibly 'cause I've recently been burned a few times in a row. It's devastating when you give your heart away (even by *thinking* about the future) only to see it crushed.

Lessons learned: guard your heart. Don't give it away immediately. For the first couple of dates, try your best not to imagine what the future could bring. Enjoy the time together and think que sera, sera.

 

[CudDULL]

Well--it seems that he was probably going on dates with other guys at the same time, and he found someone he likes a bit more than you.

It's alright though. That happens sometimes...

Some guys make better connections together and feel more of that 'spark' with one another.

Don't look at it as if you've been dissed or anything. He just found someone that works better for him.

As will you in due time.

Exactly what I was thinking. I don't think it was anything you did, he was just looking for something else.

 

[alley]

You really were not "badly burned"--truly. You had a couple great dates---he just was looking for something else. It may hurt that he picked another guy to get serious with, but you'll get over it, and find someone too.

I would have a problem dating someone still in the closet as well. I can't see getting serious with someone and not meeting their friends or family eventually--it's no fun being alone on holidays and their birthdays because they have plans with people they are hiding you from.

 

[boiseboy]

Internet hookups/dating is not worth your time. Only idiots come from the internet.



Well this is based off past experience, and I'm sticking to it.

 

[GM1985]

Cheers.
The nice guys all seem to be on the other side of the world. The fucknuts are all over here.

You obviously haven't seen the intolerable cess pool here, of which, I am pleased to say I am not involved!

 

[treanir]

fuckwittage?????


ROFL

Honestly, does no-one read their classic literature any more?
(here: Bridget Jones' Diary)