bagley - Archived Blog Posts

[bagley]

I have now been in West LA for 2 months. I live miles and miles from West Hollywood or Silverlake. Charlie and I have gone up to WEHO on Sunday afternoon a few times. I like to go to the Bodhi Tree book store on Melrose. It is a large New Age/Occult book store. Good selections and some eye candy too. I just bought a book at the Bodhi ,"Introduction into Hermetics" by Franz Bardon. One of the reasons we moved to Los Angeles was the large and active New Age/Occult community. So far so good. The other reason we moved here was because Charlie landed a fab research job in a fantastic research institute. Let's go back to the eye candy. We just moved from Vaaaagiiinyaaa (Virginia). South East Va. is a very repressed place for Gay people. You always felt you were on guard. Don't look to hard at the military/frat boy jogging down the street..just a feeling of repression. And then there is Los Angeles. All kinds of muscle guys just flaunting it. Our first visit to Venice Beach was an eye opener...I had to keep pinching myself..oh my god...beefcake and twink, latin, anglo and black and asian. Males and females just being so natural and unrepressed. It was just sexy. I never want to return to the East (USA) to live. I won't ever go back and live in the South, if I can help it. There are a lot of problems in Los Angeles, traffic, and the isolation that gridlock brings. Racism and poverty are here too. The pluses in L.A. are the thriving Gay community, the wonderful climate ( the flora is wonderful), very fine museums( LCMA and the Getty are my favs and the La Brea Tar pits), a very mixed and multi- ethnic population. I love the Mountains, the beaches and the wonderful bike paths.

I don't want to rag on the South, but here in Los Angeles no one has asked me, 'What Church do you attended" or asked me if I was a Christian. At my old tech writing job for a major defense contractor back in Virginia, that was one of the first questions that poped up in casual conversation. If I said, oh I'm a queerpagan....I'd just say I'm not religious.

 

[bagley]

Nov 1, 2004. Charlie and I had a good time this last weekend. On saturday we went to Burbank and visited our favorite store, Ikea. Burbank is in "the valley". We bought some colorful rugs. We then tried to go to Studio City via some freeway. Co Pilot to Pilot...we have a problem Charlie, the "Mapquest" directions are wrong...again. I can't tell you how wrong because I left the large expensive unweildy LA county map at home. Somehow we find it. Nice shopping and beautiful metrosexual men out in force. I tell Charlie we look lile refugee Hillbillies. I am a wash and wear kind of guy. Charlie is a little more fussy. But some of these guys must stage a full scale operation just to go shopping on Saturday morning. We ate lunch and then drove down Laurel Canyon Road to ??? and ended up on SUNSET BLVD...and down Robertson to home.

Sunday morning and we went up to Highland Park (LA neighborhood) via the 10 freeway to the ????...skirting Downtown Los Angeles. In the far distance the very high mountains were snow covered and shining in the morning sun. It was beautiful. Highland Park is the home of the Builders of the Adytum or B.O.T.A. which is a Kabbalistic group. They hold services on Sunday morning. it was exciting to attend.

 

[bagley]

I am usually a happy guy. I am a political person. As I grew up my family was politically active. I went to the polls with my parents. My mother's family were old Connecticut Yankee stock and voted Republican. They were quiet Republicans with a belief in small government and international isolation. My Father's family were Republican ( GOP And GAR) , as well, but were much more vocal. They disliked Democrats and really hated FDR ( He was a Judas). That is my background and I really understand this part of the Republican base. I don't understand the capture of the Republican Party by religious zealots and internationalist war mongers. I don't understand why the Republican party has become the mother party of Southerners and "thumpers".

As an adult I have never joined any political party. I have voted in every election, except 1984. I really disliked Nixon and voted 3rd party in 1972. I voted for Ford in 76. I also voted 3rd party in 1980. I was on an emergency business trip in 1984 and missed that election. In 1988 I voted for Bush Senior. In 92 and 96 I voted for Clinton. I voted for Gore in 2000. 3 Dems, 2 Republicans and 2 Independents.

After 2000 I stopped being political. After 9/11 I saw how "the populace" ,"hoi polloi" , "Joe and Jane America" were manipulated and abused by this tragic event. I was sad when I saw the tattered little flags flapping on our Japanese autos, as we honked our horns going down the freeways. The trauma of the 9/11 event is a trauma that Americans are still experiencing. The war we now wage againts the radical Islamics is a war of revenge for 9/11. The Republicans have tapped into this "volkgeist" and exploited it. The 9/11 events have become part of the bedrock of our political psyche.

Finally, I come to my point: I'm not voting. I was energised by Howard Dean. Dean was not afraid to be pro gay. Dean was not afraid to speak out on health care. Dean spoke my language and addressed my concerns. The Dems were frightened by Dean's strange charisma and for some reason chose a lack luster war hero. I do not want to cast a negative vote..i.e... ABB. I am no longer going to cast my vote 3rd party as a dishonest choice (dishonest for me). I am not staking out some " moral high ground" with my Not Voting. I just don't think there is anyone in the United States political universe who is speaking my language.

 

[bagley]

I did not watch the election results. Charlie and I watched LOTR movies. Why kill yourself with worry. No matter how much you watch the election results, it won't change the outcome. This morning I got up rested. I looked at the election results at the Christian Science Monitor on line News. Don't let the word Christian fool you...this is one of the most unbiased sources I know. I saw the map of the USA in Red and Blue. The Northeast was Blue with little NH being the exception. Parts of the Upper Midwest was Blue. And the Left Coast was BLUE. The red states were a solid South and Central plus the Mountains. Go figure Nevada...???? still at this point open. I looked at all the Red and said Oh, those are all the States we usually fly over....

I also noticed that many of the Blue Kerry states were the ones that are known to be creative and dynamic.....Life is better in the Blue states if your Queer. I just moved from Red VAGINNNYA to fabulous Blue Los Angeles two months ago. Talk about a change....I felt the leg irons fall off and realized how repressed I had felt living in the Ole Dominion. This is my advice to all the Gays and Queers, plus any creative types living in the Red states: ....drum roll ..... GET THEE TO A BLUE STATE...pack up the Uhaul and haul ass. Let the blue hairs do their own hair.

 

[bagley]

Charlie and I talked about "the Election" yesterday at the Diner table. The people at the very rarefied and "arty" research institution where Charlie is employed were in shock over the "the Bush election". This is a institution where the average Joe reads and writes three languages and knows more about Sung Chinese porcelain than the average American knows about Nascar. Charlie said," I was kind of shocked when I saw all those Red states". I quickly brought him back to our former reality in Virginia and his Mid- Western up bringing in Indiana. I reminded him of the rawness and narrowness of the great middle. The bleak middle of factory jobs, fast food and ugly prefab churches. Middle America looks inward.

I kind of love that great middle, I feel a great empathy for the people. Sounds snotty, but I don't mean it that way. I know how hard and measured life is in those Red States. For several years (5 to be exact ) I have been an exploring my family genealogy and Charlie's as well. [ There are a lot of gay men doing genealogy, by the way. Harry Hay talks about gay men being what I'll call "hearth keepers". ] What I found in our genealogies were generations of hard scrable people trying to stay alive. This is true of most American's genealogy..read hard scrabble roots. This hardness has passed on to their descendants. Making a good living is the paramount goal. Creativity and "Art for it's own sake" will label you funny, if not queer. Visionaries and their ilk tend to move on , get killed or go to prison.

There is also a mean streak running through the great middle with a hatred or extreme dislike for variations from the norm..read gays, liberals or people who might modulate the envolope a bit and foreigners. This is what I dislike about America.

The Dems failed to tap into this American psyche. The 'Publicans tapped in and pushed all the buttons.

 

[bagley]

Queers have a lot of magickal power. The power is not a political power. The power is liminal power. "Limen" is threashold or doorway in Latin. It is that place which is in between. I don't think that the color lavender or the lambda were arbitrary symbols chosen by market research. Lavender is the color of dawn (or dusk) and represents the transition between states. Lambda as a symbol represents a change in frequency. Queer power or if you will, magick is the power of mediating change. For thousands of years queer people have been conduits of spiritual and cultural forces. The reactionary forces of orthodox religion and cultural conservativism displayed in the 2004 American election is a modern example of the power of Queer magick. (If only we could learn to use our power for good.) Our job as Queer magicians should now be to provoke and taunt the rigid orthodox coalition until it cracks. These great stagnent blocks of congested power are moving now...and all change is good.....????

The Advocate interview with Tony Kushner is awesome. (26 Oct 04). I look at Kushner's "Angels in America" as a defining point in my life. I see the great stagnant forces..ie the Roy Cohn right wing, the Mormon Church .and even the Angels are moved and changed by the liminal power of Queers and Jews . Kushner's anti Bush rant is GREAT!!!!!!..... It is short and sweet.

 

[bagley]

10 Nov 04...Skippped a day at the ole blog..I was tired and had to many e-mails to answer. All my friends are East Coasters and I want and need to keep in touch.

I like Caroline Myss a lot. I like her books anyway..I've seen her on Tele and she's a little bit too New York or Urban North East for my taste. Her famous book, "Anatomy of the Spirit" is a great book on spiritual healing.

In her latest "A message from Caroline Myss" Nov 3, 04...she muses on " the day after" politics...and talks about the political campaign season. All this is fodder for a new book she has been researching..."the Sacred Contract of America". Excuss me while I vomit...democracies don't have sacred anything..theocracies do ...as do empires and monarchies. The founding fathers of the current republic were deeply influenced by Freemasonry and 18th century Masons were revolutionaries. These men gave us a system of limited democracy with a built in evolutionary clause. It seems to work. The word sacred is a loaded word. For something to be sacred implies a divinity. Sacred also implies sacrifice. Myss is not originating this sacred myth of American destiny. The mythic tone was set by Puritan Gov. Winthrop and the "City on the Hill". Robert Hughes, the author of "The Fatal Shore" points out that Americans are messianic and apocalyptic in their world view. This messiah complex is the idea that the American Way is the best way and should be exported around the world for the good of the world.

I think the last election was about the "sacred vision" of America. I think the destruction of the Twin Towers and other international events have shaken the American identity to it's core. When the twin towers fell I had a vision ..an open eyed lucid dream ..I was taken back to the Decembrist Assassination of Tsar Alexander, which was the begining of the end of the sacred Tsardom. A voice said this (9/11) is like that assassination. The movement toward theocracy is firmly established....I wonder where gay people will fit into this picture.

 

[bagley]

Things to do..get some of my fab pictures posted on my JUB album...whine..I just don't know how..I forgot....being in marketing and retail for a while and I know pictures sell. Your personal picture in an advert will sell your product. Get your hair done, a little make up in the right places...a little air brushing and we are set..sales will be up...20-30%. It is an actual magickal technique....perfecting the image...our whole consumer culture is based on that principal.

I read a lot of on-line news from a lot of angles. I just read about the Alabama Consitution. I try and forget about Alabama....even Mobile. The 1905 Alaabama Constitution enshrines Racism...and it is still enshrined in 2004. Voters in Alabama narrowly defeated a "prop" which would remove the racist language. Now a vote re-count will be conducted..good luck Alabama. 50% of your people are Racist. So for all you queers out there who are "bemoaning" our defeat in the red tide of 2004, the fight has just begun. We may not win overtly.... in those Red Tide States. We can win covertly, however by being creative. Creativity is subversive. I'm just really glad I left the South. For all it's charm and beauty...It is a poisoned place. California has it's problems, but racism is not enshrined as "our heritage" in the state constition. I feel free to breathe in California and to have some hope for the future.

 

[bagley]

My first post high school girl friend was a bonafide "witch". We attended a very strict evangelical college in the South. Once she showed me she her dowsing technique and I sort of freeked. That willow forked twig just spun around in her hands like a wind mill. She also had a cache of incantations and spells....she was what they called "black Irish" very fair skin with coal black hair and eyes.
My 1st Gay relationship was with what I will call a "black sorcerer" and had "The Voice" and was not above using it on his enemies...???...His second wife was also of that same ilk. I won't go into details , but, I don't think that "way" brings happiness. I still have conversations with him on occasions. My 2nd "boyfriend" was a secret Chaos magician...I told him if I knew, then more adept people really knew. He had some real ability. During our livin relationship I traveled for business and was away quite a bit. One of the long trips was during the Christmas period. (This company had no heart) and it looked like we would be working on Christmas, something happened and we were sent home...I drove up in a taxi and walked in on "C**y" and he was doing a spell..He freaked..it was a summoning spell for me to come home... what timing....clear intention is 90% of magick..5% is technique, 3% is genetic and 2% is that certain something....
My husband of 12 years is also a Magician/Occultist. His candle magick is powerful. We have developed a strong and loving sex magick relationship. Gay Sex magick w/love is a potent force of healing and evolution. I am very willing to experiment.

I didn't know any of these people were involved with magick/occultism at the time I started dating them....it just happened. But I see some sort of pattern. The Universe is stranger than we can imagine.

 

[bagley]

One of the first thing I noticed was the "eye candy" roaming around Los Angeles. It's just not in WEHO. It is very liberating here in the West Los Angeles area. I don't know about other places as of yet. Name your type and he will apear. I got my hair cut a few days ago and I was in a state...3 or 4 Brazilian men....not the Sao Paulo Euro guys...but dusky to Black.. Bahia types from the North East..thin muscle to massive muscle guys just relaxed having lunch al fresco at Baha Fresh... I love the thin muscle guys with adonis lines..And what was so liberating..I wasn't afraid to look at them. In fact they wanted me and anyone else to look at them. There are a lot of diferent types here.....I happen to like skinny white boys/men..pale skin... slim with nice asses... There is a guy 3 buildings down who walks his dog past my window almost every afternoon. The other day he wore these black pants which lifted and accented his perky ass. I estimate his waist size 24-26 inches..he's about 6 ' and he has that sour hip face and coal black hair, fairly nice package . his dog is ugly.... I know his pants and white T-shirt cost more than my best suit..It goes on and on...Thai guys...Mexican Guys..Indian/Pakistani guys....and hot black guys....

Charlie and I are going to Santa Barbara for Thankgiving. We are visiting one of our academic friends from Virginia, a black queenly type. He likes the climate,but feels very far from the comfort of the black gay culture he had in Va. In the late 80's I lived in Southern California (Ventura area) and had a great time "bed hopping". (Always safe). I developed a "fuck buddy" relationship with a black guy. I thought he had it goin on...muscles....nice package. He was a great top and always mutual..and all that jazz . He had an academic job in Santa Barbara. He was very lonely. Our first sex encounter was at a cruise area at Carpenteria on the PCH. I got his phone # and address and we began dating. By dating I mean "sex" of course. But I really enjoyed his company. He revealed a side of gaydom to me I had never realized..there is a lot of racism in the white gay community. In our first pillow talks after he boned me real good he ask me If I was a "chocolate queen"...which he explained to me was a fetish some white guys have for black men...well no..I'm a size queen...a muscle queen.....an adonis line queen...I like having sex with you..and I like talking to you. We dated for about 3 months and had a lot of fun. I lost track of him when I had to move back to the O.C. The racism black and Latino gay men experience from the larger "White " Gay community is a sin. We should be a band of brothers. I understand some people have types...but I also understand racism. In 2000 I discovered my Bi-Racial heritage which had been "hidden" for a few generations of shame. I know how it[the shame] deformed my psyche.

When I was a single gay man I was always an equal opportunity bottom. Latino, Black, Asian, and Anglo...sometimes I still dream in color.

 

[bagley]

I love the male body....no shit. I love the male form...well gee. I love having male to male sex...ah go on. If I have a type...it would be a skinny white boy (really pale) with a big dick and low floppy balls. A guy who can eat a box of chocolates, a bag of cookies and a quart of milk for a snack and never gain an oz...and that's just mid morning snack. A guy who looks like a mythical creature called a faun. Smooth chest with just a line of hair up his taunt belly and bellow an untrimed forest of wooly pubes. He also has huge red nips on a taunt well defined chest. ( I've just described Charlie, my hubbie , the slim little devil).

I love nipple and tit play. The more you play the more sensative you become. The more sensative, the better the sex. The better the sex the more you play.

I have always eroticised the male chest. A hint of a nipple peeking out of a muscle T drove me nuts as a teenager. The first time I saw a pierced nipple I was enraptured. I got my nips pierced for my 40th birthday. I loved the way they swelled...but one day took them out and promptly lost the little balls on the ends of the rings and I let the holes heal over. I like to get my nips chewed...the nips being worked hard turns me into sex goo...a melting feeling. We have just bought some tit clamps....They are so mechanical and cold looking..I am a bit put off.

 

[bagley]

On Sunday Charlie and I went on a hike in the Santa Monica coastal range. It was cold and a little bit of rain was spitting. We hiked up a canyon as far as you could go with out climbing. There are a great many empty places in Southern California, which are not to far from Los Angeles. The trail was marked, but hard to follow. There were signs of wild life, but we saw only birds. The Canyon at one place was full of old sycamores and oaks and another part were step rock walls made of conglomerates. Our total distance was 6 miles and we saw only a few people. It was good to be out of the city.

 

[bagley]

Sometimes Gay men piss me off. There is a body facism that is rampant in the Gay Male Culture. Two things have ticked me off...today. Number One: The Carlson Twins were in WEHO for a book signing and "gay boys with chubbies" (blog quote) were in line around the block to see these "so-called st8 boy gods". The Carlson twins are very beautiful. They have good genetics..I have the "OUT" April 2003 which shows the whole Carlson family...and the "twins" also, have good image control plus smart managers. Here in Los Angeles on any given day you can see equally lovely lads....just walking around or waiting tables. My beef is not with the Carlsons , but with the gay men who idolize the twins. In Gay male culture image is everything...2-D reigns. 3-D may have to many flaws and have a faggy voice. I have been watching "The Paul Kent Show" on PA TV Los Angeles. Paul interviews a lot of Gay Porn Stars and shows up at Gay Red Carpet events. Paul's interviews have a way of bringing the faggot out in all these porn guys ,and not just the "bottoms". I'd like to see Paul Kent interview the Carlson twins. I don't think Gay Men need to choose between the icon and the reality. In Neoplatonism the Icon is the gateway to Reality.

Number TWO: I watched a disturbing TV program on TLC.."Men with Breasts" When I first looked I thought it said "men with beasts"...The spooky world of ill defined gender...one guy was 6'2" and wore a bra with 4D cups. He was married to a woman with 3C cups. It seems men have milk ducts and milk glands and with the right hormones..prolactin, I think ...can give milk. It's rare. I endured the graphic pics of liposuction and the cutting out the milk glands....The stories were sad. The show said 10% of men were gynocomastic. I went to the mirror and looked at my chest...I have big nipples, but my pecs are pretty flat ... I hate the plastic surgery part. Some of these gynomatic men have a double X chromosome or XXY. Some men with boobs don't have this syndrome. There is no real explanation. One of the gyncomantic men, a married man w/ children claimed he lactated for about two weeks in conjunction with the birth of one of his children. He still had his breasts ansd also a doctor's record for proof. A nursing male is not in our image bank of masculinity.
Something drives people to conform to the image. The sleek muscled male body is the "object" we desire. The image is thrown at us minute by minute. If you don't conform..it's the knife or a ton of therapy. As a gay man I know I have been the target of an overwhelming "narrowcast" of erotic male images. Knowing this I can arm myself againts the onsaught.

 

[bagley]

It was a 4 day weekend or mini holiday for Charlie and me. We went to Santa Barbara to visit Charlie's old boss..the details are very boring. The trip was great. We visited UCSB. We walked along the beach and saw Dolphins and countless fish. This week end a storm blew in and out. Sunday was so clear you could see the snow topped mountains miles and miles away. A happy time....I'm thankful that I am a queer. I'm really thankful because I got a major plowing on Sunday. Today my nips are sore and scabed over and when I touch them my dick gets hard. I'll be on a sex high for three days...sort of just floating .... Not to share to much, but I have finally learned how to deep throat....and that really turned me on. We've been together 12 years and this was my first deep throating ever.

 

[bagley]

It has been freezing in Los Angeles. Last night it went down to 38 degrees in my neighborhood. I am a weather freak. I've love weather. I used to have a little weather lab when I had my own house. Wind & rain gages, thermometer and barometer. I would log my findings and compair them with the local airport. The airport would report number of inches of rain and wind speed and I would record the difference. Now, I have "Weather Bug" with a very close local weather station...not as fun ,but it's something. Yesterday i walked up the hill to Pico and the view was great. I could see downtown LA and the snow covered mountains in the very far distance. I think most LosAngelenos don't even look...but it is a stunning scene..yesterday the Hollywood sign looked very close. What a beautiful place.... to bad about the mess.

As I have stated before the male nipple is a fetish of mine. There is a Slovenian guy on JUB with the most beautiful big nips....I'm howling at this point..he is blond and muscled..howl. This week my poor nips are sore because... Daddy used some stiff tit clamps on them with some molar grinding after the big O. ( the new clamps were an early Christmas gift) It hurt so good. I let him be the total top and let him go where ever his imagination takes him. He's been pretty rough on my balls lately, too which is a new thing.
Our sex life has really improved since I lost weight When I quite smoking I gained 50 lbs ( plus) . We have always had good sex, but now he's much more aggresive and we've been much more active. .... . He loves the fact that I recently learned how to deep throat and he lets me practice almost daily..but not to orgasm..believe me kids when I tell you I'll get some man juice very soon. I love the idea of using my face as a sex organ.

 

[bagley]

Americans seem to lack a lot of nuance when speaking about anything of a non material nature. How many times have I heard, "I'm spiritual
, but not religious". Dude..that is a stupid statement. The conversation usually ends right there with a looking off to the middle distance. I don't mind if the guy is cute and has a nice profile. Religion is the external structure of your spirituality. I am a Neo-pagan and basicly a non theist. The spiritual feelings I have are a feeling that "life" has a numinous quality. This quality expresses itself in many ways, shapes and ideas. Numen is a Latin concept of the local spirit/god of a thing or location. Certain "things" exude this quality in everyday life. Most modern western educated people are not sensitive to the "Numen" in the landscape and do not recognize the "numenous" in themselves. Religion is how I express and celebrate my spirituality. If I find a place or being...that seems "holy" I honor that place or being with an offering or a prayer. Recently while we were hiking in the Coastal Ranges of SoCal...we came upon such a spot..and low and behold there were many offerings placed ....I told Charlie..the "cowan" won't feel the energy or see the offerings...which is just my personal observation.

As a queer man I have been worshiping "Cock" for some time. I have a Lingam I have made offerings to in my garden...and I have worshiped Charles' Penis for about 12 years. As I have written before I have finally been able to deep throat him.(big 9").....I put that achievement right up there with my B.A.... only the Deep Throating took way longer....

Charlie and I often do sex magick....His cock becomes the phallic god and my ass becomes the more than willing sacrifice.....Now, however I can use my throat or Venus center as the place of power....I think it will make the magick more mental..more easy to direct...We will have to experiment and I'll get back with the results ....Send that power out, girlfriend..and change the universe for good....You can use all that sex energy for a goal..the more you do it the better. If all the gay men in the USA used their sex magick energy to further the gay equal rights agenda..we would be unstopable. The nice thing about gay sex magick is you can do it solo too..."I am the Man I dream about"...and of course remember to be safe if you are having multi partnered sex....

 

[bagley]

I have never been much of a sex toy fan. When I was in college I found a "big", poorly made dildo.....I was working as a work-study janitor, cleaning offices and there it was in the trash can....a big dildo ...so I took it....and hid it ....later I washed it in bleach water and tried several times to 'fuck' myself. I could just about get the tip inside...but it hurt way to much..plus the plastic seam scratched ....a true confession..but, give me a break I was a Freshmen on work study... A few years later my first real BF was a "top only" married bisexual and I was glad to let him top me. (He was a French Canadian) Every once and a while he would bring his wife's dildo shaped vibrator and put it in my ass while warmed up on my mouth...he is the same BF that eroticized my nips. I can't say the vibrator did much for me..except it was kinky..this BF also like to do threesomes and bathhouse sex...Now to the present... Charlie has turned a little kinky in his old age....he bought me some nipple clamps and yesterday after we put up our Christmas tree he gave me an early present..a very nice dildo which feels almost real..... we spent about two hours trying it out...I still like 'real dick' better..but this is just fun..Charlie has been very conventional until recently and I welcome the exploration.

On Friday, we hiked up Mt. Hollywood (1600 ft) in Griffith park in LA. Lots of queers crusing in cars and we saw a gay male couple making out by the Observatory, the couple was very young. The climb up was easy and the view of Los Angeles with snow rimmed mountains was so beautiful. We again talked about why Gay men cruise and have sex in public places. The young gay couple making out was cute...and liberating. The men seeking gay sex in the park is sort of a throw back....there were a lot of Hispanic looking men...perhaps these men are more repressed by their culture. I'm sure a lot of the men crusing are married to women. Anyway it was warm and some of the crusing lads were showing some muscle and all was right with the world. Later we ate lunch at a nice place in Los Feliz Village, called 'Fred 62'. We found the Silver Lake area on our way home....Los Angeles is such a strange place

 

[bagley]

I became a gay boy in the middle 70's. I was in the military. I finished college and found I had no job skills. I worked a low paying job and then I enlisted. Many people asked me then as well as now, why I didn't become an officer. Dah...I had a Liberal Arts degree and my degree did not qualify me for OCS...or anythink else for that matter.
My first duty was in Virginia. At the gay cruise spot on base I met this guy named Billy from Phily...and he was hot and also a big druggy. ...We fumbled around a few times in what Billy called lesbian sex. He was a born comedian and 1st generation Irish. Billy had the whitest skin and the blackest hair and used his beautiful booty to get good free drugs.

Billy showed me all the gay and gay friendly bars in Norfolk, Va and the civie cruising spots. At that time the military didn't test for THC and the evil weed was wide spread. I smoked weed every chance I got. After my intial introduction to the gay Norfolk underground every spare minute of my life was spent cruising for gay sex and or getting high. It was a big party and every one was happy. I liked all kinds of drugs except the opium based ones and cocaine.

I loved speed..one time my gay brother came down to visit and brought a big bottle of "black beauties" ..we would do a handful and go shoplifting. My gay brother , what a trip he was......when he was 16 my mother caught him and his 18 year old bf having sex in his room...she also found his drugs. A few months later he was caught having sex in a bathroom with some older guy...while he was skipping school. After that he was under court supervision till he was 18. He was also caught in some Arson and shoplifting .. It was a wonder he came out alive. He has out queered me his whole life....I don't know where all this drama comes from? Most of my family is very dull.

From 1975 until 1981 I was high or stoned 90% of the time...I was very sexually active. I loved to get high on weed mixed with PCP..or do some "Orange Sunshine" mixed with crank....whatever that was called...it was cheap. I also loved to get plowed while I was in that altered state... Even double dicked. Crazy. Poppers were my special friends. I weighed just under 140 lbs and my nickname was ghost. In 1981 something clicked and from that day to this day I have been almost drug free. I don't know how I came out of that period of my life without contracting HIV or a criminal record. The story I have told all sounds so trashy and low class. I have estimated in that 6 year period I had unprotected sex with over 1,000 men and with 25-30 women. From 1981 to 1993 I never got high and had sex with about 30 men and 2 women. Since 1993 I have been high once on marijuana and have had sex 1000s of times with one hot daddy named Chaz and about 4 times in a threesome with Chaz's old BF.

 

[bagley]

I find the current gay male porn kinda of boring. Boring or banal..I can't make up my mind. Coming to live in L.A. was an eye opener. "The Paul Kent Show" on public Access TV interviews a lot of Gay Male Porn Stars. Paul goes to their houses and awards. The porn stars are really good looking..but the fake butch quality sort of disapears. Paul Kent is a catalyst for camp. Paul sort of oozes and the boys show their fey side. If you watch any of the professionally made gay porn movies this fey gay aspect is edited out. Top men are super macho muscle dudes and their bottom men are power bottom muscle dudes. I guess what I am saying is... It's Fake.

The best part of JUB is the self pics and galleries....I love all kinds of images..I love unshaved muscle latino queers, uncut and the non metrosex...I love pale thin anglo/jew boys with glasses nerding out at the "Coffee Bean"..I love the dirty unkept boys hustling on Santa Monica. I love bitchy queens.

 

[bagley]

I had a beautiful long weekend out shopping in Los Angeles. On Friday It was warm and in the 80's in the afternoon..but cool at night and in the morning. We have grown to love L.A's farmers market and "The Grove"...The grove is very nicely decorated and the large computerized fountain was playing in sync to Christmas Carols. There are several large Christmas trees, one is made of teared poinsettas. I had a "dadist" moment..in front of the red poinsettia: A tropical American shrub (Euphorbia pulcherrima) that has showy, usually scarlet bracts beneath the small yellow flowerlike inflorescences....was an orthodox Jewish male with a small girl. He wore the skull cap and had a faint red beard...he wore a dark suit which made him look very pale and thin. "The Grove" and the Farmers market was filled with metro-sexual men cruising....everyone... male and female...like peacocks. I love the store.... "Anthropologies"...I bought some "on sale" Christmas stuff...There are so many hot men of so many different ethnic and racial mixes...makes me feel very white bread. I also love watching the plastic women. too...there were Barbies everywhere, hiding their 50 plus age and dressed like teens.

Saturday I went to Santa Monica and the Promanade..a pedestrian zone filled with more beachy white people. I also went to the farmers market..the one where the old guy drove his car down the street and killed a number of people...Santa Monica is where the rich from Malibu come slumming....beachy types in thousand dollar rags and perfect dreds...mixing with bona fide street people and muscle heads..It was warm enough for the muslce heads to shed the winter wear. I stopped at a juice bar (gag) and it was full of cute white SoCal blond bois in tank tops....I felt old..but it didn't stop me from looking.

Sunday I went (alone) to the Getty and it was packed..a lot of beautiful men. I followed one Italian guy around for a while...He had a classic face and pumped arm muscles..and thick black hair sort of tied back and messy which reminded me of "the David" He was dressed in a tight black Tee and black paints with a nice package. He Biceps were beautifully tattooed. The tats just flowed when he moved his arms. The tats, I'm sure continued under his shirt. He loved to be looked at...some of the guards there are very beautiful , as well. I love to go look at "Starry Night " at Asgard , by Munch.

Charlie had to work to finish his project before Friday....a major Scandinavian something or other and needs to be done..he is so smart...and has to be familiar with all these strange languages. This next years he's off to Norway/Sweden and Russian for research. he was so tired...but horny...He asked me If I wanted to practice "my technique" so I did. Right in the Living room. I deep throated his cock and sucked the chrome off his trailer hitch.... his cock head is very sensative and he splattered all over my face.and shirt..it grossed him out a little when I started eating his sperm, but he didn't stop me. ....It was a milestone of firsts..it was impromtu..it was not in the bed.we were fully clothed..and it was only second time he has ever come on my face. His sperm tastes mildly bitter/salty. I didn't cum..but I felt satisfied. I then ran a hot bath and bathed him. He was asleep at 8pm. He got up and was gone before I got up..he's working late tonight...This morning my throat felt a little sore...but not to bad..for taking a 9 incher. My goal is to be able to get him to cum down my throat.