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bagley - Archived Blog Posts

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Modern Queerness as a culture is practically a brand new land mass rising out of the emotional ocean. Yes, I know that queer people have always been around...James Boswell in his book on same sex unions points out some of the historical details as does Randy Conners in Blossom of Bone. [OUR] Gay/Queer culture has only come above the surface in the last half of the 20th century. Before STONEWALL gay/queer people were living in a state similar to the boat people in Kevin Cosner"s awful movie, "Waterworld"....
In many ways we are the pioneer generation for this emerging queer island..even if you are just 18 and everything seems to be established...you can still see the begining of things with out to much trouble. For example in 1960 every US state had anti gay sex laws on the books. It was illegal to have any kind of gay sex....gay people were subject to harsh penalties almost every where. Illinois decriminalized gay sex in the 1961 and other states followed. On 18 November 2003 the US Supreme Court overturned the laws which criminalized Gay sex in the last of the hold out states (mainly Southern) ....I was living in Virginia at the time..and had up to that date been an undetected felon looking at 5-20 years if detected....Montana you could be fined 50 grand w/10 years..for a little homo sex....
Now US fags can breathe a little easier...the fundies may howl...but they can't put you in prison



Factoids:

Here are some samples of the overturned laws: (!) (!) (!) (!) (!)

ARKANSAS: M 5-14-111, Sodomy, 1 year/$1000, same sex only; Bill passed unanimously "aimed at weirdos and queers who live in a fairyland world and are trying to wreck family life." Signed into law by governor in 1977

INDIANA: Repealed effective 1977; Earlier effort to repeal said legalization might "give us an opportunity to study it more openly, and to see what causes it, in the hope that we can eventually eliminate it."

MINNESOTA: M 609.293, Sodomy, 1 year/$3000; Minnesota's law also prohibits sex between humans and birds

MONTANA: F 45-5-505, Deviate Sexual Conduct, 10 years/$50,000, same sex only

VIRGINIA F 18.2-361, Crime Against Nature, 5-20 years

SOUTH CAROLINA: F 16-15-120, Buggery, 5 years/$500; The law actually legislates the "abominable crime of buggery." No further statutory explaination given.
 
My partime job has turned into a little more work than I wanted..but it will go back to normal after the holiday. I have been writing in my paper journal...so I am keeping up with my thoughts

Saw a PBS show on how marketing works.....one question..Are you on Code..or off Code...it was chilling.
 
Ah..I'm back for a 2 day period...then it's the holiday uproar. Also added new gallery called Craigslist guyss..pretty fun (!) *|* (!) *|* (!) .

I have been studying Western Astrology for the last 25 years or so....Astrology itself has a continuous 4,500 year history and it is a foundational occult science. In Magickal practice it determines a lot of what rite the magician will perform and what angel, demon or god he or she will invoke. Astrology has it's own dense cant which sounds like gobbledegook to the uninitiated. I still have to look up some of the dense obscure language used in the older books. In part I learned astrology under the tutelage of a member of the Princeton School of which Robert Hand and Joan Negus are the most famous...I have also devoured the books of Dane Ruhdyar, Tracy Marks, Liz Green and more....in other words it has been an on going passion of mine for a long time. I love doing birth charts and have done quite a few..mainly for friends. The charts are easy to do now with the computer making all the figuring...the delineation of the chart still requires a subtile intuitive mind....or perhaps even fuzzy logic.

Western Astrology almost died during the 18th century Enlightenment. Western magickal practice also suffered blows from the same Enlightenment. A further blow to both systems was then delivered by the rise of secular materialism in the 19th century. Robert Hand sates that only in England and in small Continental [European] areas was anything kept alive.

The modern rebirth of Astrology started in the 1960's in the hippy times as did the Tarot, witchcraft and a belief in a living Universe. Astrology requires one to believe in a dynamic connection between the macrocosm and the microcosm...or "I am connected to what is" . One of the greatest of the modern Astrologers was Dane Ruhdyar. He started a astrological movement which is galactic rather than Solar in it's outlook.

We [ the circle to which I belong] will be conducting our Yule or Solstice celebration as an astral ritual...for us it is the rebirth of the waxing light. Under the Julian calender of Rome...the Solstice fell on the 25th of December ..hence Christmas (Sol Invictus). These rituals connect us to the ancient sources of power and allows us to tap into them and use their energy. In turn our rituals feed the ancient connection and this helps us to nourish future possibilities. ...most magickal rituals are about collecting and then disbursing energy...
 
I really love Christmas time. I am not bothered at all by calling the winter festival , Christmas....I'll even go to Christmas Eve Mass somewhere....with lots of music and incense..this year ...we're thinking St. Thomas Episcopal in Hollywood....high church Anglican/Epicopal which is Gay friendly...really Gay friendly....they had a large group in last years L.A./WEHO Gay Pride Parade. Tomorrow, for our last work event..I am wearing my wool trachten coat w/ antler buttons...it will be warm..but, I'll do it...I feel so like a Heidi character when I wear it....I don't have the shorts or the hat...but the jacket is vintage and looks and feels like Christmas.

I have a small collection of Santas which I put out and mix up with the Nativity sets. Today I found a beautiful gold Santa from Dept. 56....it's a candle holder..for a round candle...but I put a Christmas ornament in the hollow place and it looks swell....I also got an vintage elf snow globe..ceramic elf..cute..I had to refill it...so it is on probation..till it shows me it doesn't leak...

This brings me to the pagan origin of Santa and his Elves......they come from the Northern myths and for me the Elves are the clincher for the pagan theory of Santa. The following article is a look at the origin of our Santa...it makes a lot of sense





How Odin Became Santa Claus: Symbolism and Pagan Origins of a Gift-Giving Saint
by Anja Heij


"The story begins in the northern regions of Europe where the supreme god Odin, also known as Wodan among the German tribes, reigned. (He still lives among us in Wednesday, which is Wodan’s day). Odin/Wodan was the god of wisdom, magick and occult knowledge, runes, poetry and war. His name means “the inspired one”. Like a shaman he could travel in other worlds to gather more insight while his two black ravens Huginn (Thought) and Muninn (Memory) kept him informed about the news in the world. Odin was depicted as a tall, old man with a white beard and wearing a cloak. He rode the skies and the seas on his fast white horse Sleipnir with his 8 (the number of transformation) legs, while carrying his never missing spear Gungnir (clear and focused intent) in his hand. He had one eye, for he had offered the other eye in exchange for gathering wisdom at the well of the head Mimir (Norse representation of the Source) and with that he became a shapeshifter, able of seeing in the outward world with his normal eye and understanding the inward worlds with his black, removed, eye. He was very beloved among his friends and followers who felt happy and energized in his surroundings (an enlightened being?). His enemies however he could paralyze or kill with his sight (insight, the truth). Odin trained many men and women as warriors for the final battle against the forces of destruction in the underworld at Ragnarok (the Norse judgement day). His fearless warriors often painted their bodies black and fought in the middle of the night.

The story of Odin/Wodan is the battle between good and evil which will stop when we finally realize that black and white are two sides of the same coin. Odin is a mythical representation of goodness with his wisdom, white beard and white horse (in New Age terms we would depict him as ‘white divine light’). And he is wise enough to understand that ‘black’ is not similar to ‘dark’ in the sense of ‘evil and taboo’ for his helpers are black ravens and black (spiritual) warriors. The evil he fights is the underworld dragon of false beliefs, untruth and selfishness (in New Age terms we would call this ‘ego’).
(So now we have a wise, good man performing magick/miracles with a white horse riding the skies, a white beard, a cloak, a spear and black advisors/informers/helpers and he is also god of poetry).

Next we go to the Roman empire where between December 17 and 24 the pagan Saturnalia were celebrated, big feasts with a lot of merrymaking, dancing, gambling, sensuality and the exchange of gifts. This festival was meant to celebrate the return of the sun on the shortest days of the year and to counteract the depression due to lack of sunlight.
(Here we find December celebrations with gifts.)

Time goes by. Christianity develops itself. In the 4th century in Myra, Turkey, a Christian bishop named Nicholas lived with a great reputation for goodness, benevolence and performing miracles for the poor and unhappy. He miraculously supplied gold to three (number of manifestation) girls as marriage dowries so they did not have to become prostitutes and he brought three children back to life who had been chopped by a butcher. It is not difficult to understand that during the poverty of the Middle Ages (also called Dark Ages) this bishop became extremely popular as Saint Nicholas in all parts of Europe. His feastday, it was said to be his birthday, was December 5 or 6, nobody knows. There is no historical evidence however for the true existence of this saint.
(So now we see a benevolent, miracle performing bishop with a white dress and a red cloak.)

After the Reformation Saint Nicholas became forgotten in all the protestant countries of Europe except Holland. There he became Sinterklaas; a kind and wise old man with a white beard, white dress, red cloak, a crosier and riding the skies and roofs of the houses on his white horse, accompanied by his Black Jacks. Sinterklaas will visit you on his birthday December 5 or 6 and donate gifts. His Black Jacks have miraculously gathered information about your behavior during the last year; if it were good you will now be rewarded with presents, if it were bad you will be punished by the Black Jacks who will beat you with their rods or even worse: put you in a big bag and take you with to Spain, said to be the residence of Sinterklaas. The last thing seems to be a Christian influence: punishment by a severe father if you don’t behave morally just. On the other hand: if you do behave nice you will be rewarded with sweets and gifts accompanied by humoristic poems that give insight in your weaknesses.
(Here the mix becomes clear between Odin the good magician god and the miracles of the benevolent Sinterklaas. They both ride a white horse in the skies,wear a white beard, a cloak and a spear/cosier. They both have black helpers. They try to support goodness and dispel evil through knowledge. And remember the poetry part? And the blend with Roman influences shows itself in a December feast with gaiety and presents.)

In the 17th century Dutchmen emigrated to Northern America and brought their tradition of Sinterklaas with. In the new English speaking world the name changed into Santa Claus. In 1930 a designer for the Coca-Cola Company was asked to draw attractive advertisements for this drink that did not sell well in wintertime. He had to use the company colors red and white and create some cosy type. He remembered the Dutch Santa Claus with his white dress, red cloak, long white beard, kindness and benevolence. The eight-legged horse was replaced for eight flying reindeer. A punishing Black Jack was inappropriate in this concept, so he disappeared. This new Santa Claus became a big hit. He became so popular that right now in Europe he is serious competition for Sinterklaas. That’s understandable: no more fear for punishing Black Jacks, and you no longer have to sweat on suitable poetry for your gifts. And the search for human perfection of Odin? Well, can’t we just have that as a Christmas present from Santa Claus?"

Religiously, as a Neo-pagan I celebrate Yule. Yule is a solar festival connected with the winter solstice...here in Southern California it is the beginning of the rainy season..so I have adapted my ritual to that end....We will be traveling around visiting friends and spending money....I hope everyone has a great holiday.
 
The following is an edited (by me) version of a story printed in the Independent UK (on line) by Terry Judd 02/01/06.
I edited the stuff out about BrokeBack Mountain and the USA anti gay back lash. F***k the backward looking M**th*r F**K*ng *MeriC*ns..I'm sick of them....

What may be the first depiction of a gay kiss was discovered in a 4,000-year-old Egyptian tomb, according to a recent conference at the University of Wales.

Their arms entwined, their torsos and noses touching Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep were painted together for eternity in an embrace usually associated with heterosexual couples of the 5th dynasty.

One of the largest and most beautiful of all the tombs in the necropolis at Saqqara, south of Cairo, the two men's final resting place was discovered in 1964. The archaeologist Ahmed Moussa made the rare find of two men of equal status buried together in a tomb decorated with images of them holding hands or locked nose to nose.

In a recent talk at the University of Wales on Sex and Gender in Ancient Egypt Greg Reeder explained that the affectionate embrace might suggest the pair were lovers. Describing an image of the two men tightly clasping each other in the offering chamber, Mr Reeder said: "Here, in the innermost private part of their joint-tomb, the two men stand in an embrace meant to last for eternity."

The official view by one of the world's most eminent Egyptologists, Zahi Hawass, is that they were brothers, perhaps even conjoined twins. Other eminent academics have also suggested the similarities in the names would suggest this to be the case and there is a danger that modern European eyes fail to resist the temptation of seeing the images as homoerotic. Nevertheless, the tomb has become a favourite for gay couples.
The "Tomb of the Hairdressers" or "Tomb of Two Brothers" as it has become known was in fact the burial place of King Niuserre's manicurists.

While the paintings do show wives and children, the two women are obliterated or omitted from a scene of a final banquet.

"Same-sex desire must be considered as a probable explanation," said Mr Reeder, adding: "We can only say for certain that the carvings show a profound intimacy between the two men, and the people who built the tomb were possibly unsure how to portray this."



RANT


In the Ancient Western World (including Egypt) there is a lot of evidence for same sex love and also gay sex. But, for years collected homoerotic items were kept behind locked doors and translated texts with homoerotic themes were edited or suppressed. I equate this anti queer "editing out" as equal to a physical holocaust. Without a history queer people are just some sort of floating scum on the heterosexual pond of life, just waiting to be exterminated. When I realized there was open and celbrated homoerotic love in antiquity it was very liberating. How I felt sexually and emotionally had a precedent. We queers actually have been around a very long time. I really could have used this queer afirming info when I was a teenage cocksucker servicing married men in public toliets. Jeez.....I might have aimed a little higher....
 
Ah the poetry of CL......

10,000 bits and pieces of desire....it's like finding discarded rain stained polaroids of a forgotten party...or rain soaked teenager love letters where the ink has ran..and the only thing you can make out is the heart used to dot the letter I....

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It is a beautiful day in Los Angeles, California. It is a balmy 72 degrees and the sky is blue with some clouds. This morning I took my walk down to Venice Blvd and crossed at the light....and looking left I saw the dark hulk of Mount Wilson (5,000 ft). It is hard to believe it is over 15 miles away. Behind Mt Wilson were two higher peaks and they were snow covered....I don't remember their names , but they are between 9 and 10,000 ft..the sun was shining on the snowy peaks....this is the first time this year I have seen them with snow....The native Angelenos don't even look.....but, then California is a place of a lot of natural beauty....or was..or perhaps could be...again

On New Years Day we went down to Marina del Ray and walked on the beach..after the storm.....on the way down we went through the Ballona Wetlands and they were filled with white Crane-like birds...and we saw a Opossum run across the road...it was huge...Nearby Playa del Rey is a huge Yuppie Development built on one of the most polluted industrial sites on the West Coast... The associated reclaimed wetlands are a sort of triumph....with a very small t. I'm glad they could do something..... But, then I lived and worked on the banks of the Elizabeth River in Norfolk, Va. which is considered one of the most polluted waterways in America. The mouth of the Ballona Creek at Marina del Rey was filled with trash from the New Year's Eve storm and the beach was littered with all kinds of crap...a lot of styrofoam cups and other styrofoam objects...( I swear I will never use it again) The bulldozers were busy making barriers of sand for the next storm....and the Waves were big ..so we had a good time..poking around in the trash that had come ashore...plus there were a ton of sea birds....not including the Gulls....and we watched the jets fly into LAX from New Zealand, Australia, Canada and Mexico.

Factoids:
I bought a small abstract steel sculpture for my little garden...it makes the rest of the stuff in it look like crap...now I need to go out and clean up....plus all the pots are full of rain water and needs to drained....

Book questing: came closer today on my quest for a 1st edition 1st printing of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.....the book I got is very close to the 1st printing...it's a $23.00 vs $24.00..but misses several of the 1st printing "points" ....the search continues... but I also got a 1st edition of a Keith Haring Book, Nina"s Book of Little Things! 1994 published by Prestel..

For some reason...? I remembered the house I lived in after I got out of the Navy( I rented a one room apartment) ..it was in the East Ocean View area of Norfolk....I shared the house with a drag queen and a hustler/hair dresser......it was a tough area and the door to my apartment didn't have a regular door lock..you had to use a padlock... shared the kitchen and bathroom...but we had some great parties.....I lasted for a summer..and then moved to better digs....
 
There is something prayer like about the posts for queer sex on Craigslist and just like prayers some are answered and some are ignored. They are bargaining with the great unknown. Where does all this queer desire go .... are these thoughts ,words and pictures stored somewhere....? Are they stored forever in a magnetic format with some "real physical" presence. Or are these desires and their energy just dumped into the great void. Do they float out in the astral space like dead satellites. Do these dumped queer desires have any life of their own. I have been reading and copying these desires trying to understand the stew. As I read and copy I find an absurd poetry rising up from the mass.

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Thoughts: I have been thinking a lot about "death". In Buddhist meditation I was taught to dwell on my own disintegration. Realizing at some point in the field of time the aggregate I call "myself" won't exist... can be very liberating. I have incorporated a lot of Buddhist belief into my Neopagan/magickal belief and have written several meditation rituals incorporating "death"....In fact the Winter Solstice ritual "we " use is one of disintegration into darkness , the darkness of soil, tree roots and silence ...but(in the ritual) the birth of the Sun light draws us up again into life. Done right ..the ritual is a powerful antidote to ST8 line thinking... (aka monotheism)....
 
A lot of my thoughts lately have just trickled down into the great unknown..the holidays and working sure cramped my thoughts and journaling, not to mention my sexual life. But now there is a little calmness returning to daily life....I have had the opportunity to do some low level marketing for the NPO where I work..I had to go to the Brazilian and Guatemalan Consulate on Friday on Wilshire...It was a quick walk down Wilshire ...and it was very warm..in the 80's.....and it was a parade of BOI's in tight jeans and tight tees....I thought I was at the Abbey. Seeing lots of hot men on a daily basis is one of the perks of living in Los Angeles. I really like my work..I feel it may make a small difference in the world for good....

On a different note...I just finished a painting/collage/assemblage shrine. I have been working on for approx 6 months. it is entitled " All hail, the Queer Bodhisatvas, OM"....I will try and put a detail of it up on my gallery...one day soon.


On Mythos:
I watched this crazy TV show. Creation in the 21st Century ...yes I am a TV addict.....On TBS..The Trinity Broadcasting Corp. ..I love Jan Crouch. *|* *|* *|* here is a blurb ....Dr. Carl Baugh, Director of the Creation Evidence Museum will be hosting the television series on TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network) entitled "Creation in the 21st Century". The program airs every Tuesday evenings, 6:00 p.m. (CDT), 12:30 a.m. Mondays (CDT) and 11:30 p.m. Thursdays (CDT). As times are subject to change without notice, check TBN for schedule changes ...on the finding of Noah's Ark....supposedly, a Czarist Russian expedition found something in 1906...and an American was lead up Ararat by some Kurds in 1943...and they have some wood from someplace and have constructed a model based upon the 1906 and 1943 descriptions. blah, blah, blah...very flimsy evidence even for TBS....but the clincher was the huge painting of the animals entering Noah's ark..dinosaurs too .....for me the weirdo part was the city of tall buildings in the background of the painting ...in this city was a tall pyramid like structure..which the artist called a solar temple.. and used for human sacrifice.......WHAT......WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT BUD....child, that's not in the Bible....

Here is what struck me about the search for the so called Noah's Ark........What physical proof do you have that you have found "Noah's Ark" ...a seal with Noah's name on it...some written evidence..on the wood....you know some sailor graffiti..something that will be proof positive that what you have found is indeed "the Ark"...without something to prove it's associated with Noah... all you have is conjecture.....a conjecture which may not be true...it's like having a fragment of the True Cross in the Middle Ages...a ton or two of high priced wood. I think Noah's Ark lies very much in the realm of myth and legend...in other words it is a story outside of history..which has taken on an archetypical meaning.

A great antidote to the mumbo-jumbo of Creationists and Biblical literalists is the book by John McPhee, Annals of the Former World.

The show, Creation in the 21st Century put me in a sceptical mind frame...and I have been surfing around looking for the earliest New Testament fragments....all the earliest fragments were found in Egypt on papyrus all date from the 2nd century C.E through the 6th C.E. . The most conservative dating still maintains a gap of about 100 years from the death of Jesus to the earliest fragment ...and all the early fragments are anonymous...the tradition of the authorship of Matthew, Mark ,Luke and John is later...........so.........Jesus is also outside of history. In my searching I stumbled on an Islamic site which gave very detailed and organized info on the gospel fragments...I think the point of the site was to show the corruption of the current received gospel text......The earliest known fragment is from John;s Gospel in the Rylands Library in Ireland and is the size of a postage stamp...and it's dating is very controversial....I find it very interesting that all the earliest NT fragments come from Egypt...It is almost like Egypt was the earliest center of Christianity........
 
This is clip from Pam's House Blend . Pam is a lesbian of color and lives in Durham, North Carolina...which is a semi safe Gay friendly place..for the South, anyway.

Insisting that God "certainly needs to be involved" in the Supreme Court confirmation process, three Christian ministers today blessed the doors of the hearing room where Senate Judiciary Committee members will begin considering the nomination of Judge Samuel Alito on Monday.

Capitol Hill police barred them from entering the room to continue what they called a consecration service. But in a bit of one-upsmanship, the three announced that they had let themselves in a day earlier, touching holy oil to the seats where Judge Alito, the senators, witnesses, Senate staffers and the press will sit, and praying for each of the 13 committee members by name.

"We did adequately apply oil to all the seats," said the Rev. Rob Schenck, who identified himself as an evangelical Christian and as president of the National Clergy Council in Washington
.


I was taken back by this wing nuttery...three Evangelical ministers anointed the chairs of the hearing particulars and the doors in an act of consecration .....It is a very strange thing to do in a democracy...it smacks of kingship and magickal ritual. Moses anointed his brother, Aaron as a high priest, Samuel the prophet anointed Saul, 1st king of Israel ( about 1000 BCE) and of course there is the anointing of Jesus' feet with spikenard. The British monarchy uses holy oil in it's coronation ceremony..and I believe Britain is one of the last countries with an anointed monarch..... In the Magickal community ritually blessed scented oils are used for body consecration. Chrism and other oils are used in the Catholic and Orthodox churches for baptism, conformation extreme unction...and the Pentecostalists use oil to anoint the sick....I don't think the Pentecostalists use a ritual..they are a pretty slap dash bunch..

Shall we all sing "God Save the Judge"

So what these ministers have done is a little bit of ritual magick ....I am not sure how this will effect the outcome if at all...but it is truly one of the strangest tales to come out of D.C. in many years.....

I started reading Karen Armstrong's book, Holy War Holy War: The Crusades and Their Impact On Today's World published by Anchor Books 2001 (paperback) is as good if not better than her book History of God. She is an expert on Islamic Studies and in this book she delves into the Crusades from a non historian perspective. Easy reading, too. This quote hooked me...as anyone who reads my blog knows of my rants against monotheism......" I would argue that the holy war is a deeply Christian act. Like Judaism and Islam, Christianity had an inherent leaning toward violence, despite the pacifism of Jesus. "
In this book she looks at the origin of Islam in a very quick and refreshing way. She points out that most Westerners have a point of view inherited from our medieval ancestors almost unchallenged. Right now, I am reading about the Cluniac anti sex reform.

Negative comment: The maps, however are poorly printed ....almost useless

New Book Purchase... (!) (!) (!)

Fassbinder: The Life and work of a Provocative Genius by Christian Braad Thomsen 1st edition, 1st print published by Faber & Faber 1992....my favorite movie of his is Querelle which is based on the Genet book....plus I was a queer sailor..so..so there.

Music I am listening to as I blog...The Labyrinth by the Dead can Dance...


Last night we went for a walk in the hills above our house..in a very exclusive area..and got lost in the twists and turns....when we finally got down the hill and returned to "our" area..it looked like a slum....
 
This is a great article with my comments at the bottom

From[B] MEDICAL NEWS TODAY [/B] , East Sussex, UK

New research indicates that an area of the brain thought to act in reward circuitry may represent a phase in visual processing during which sexual orientation modulates how we perceive individual faces. The findings are reported by Felicitas Kranz and Alumit Ishai of the University of Zurich.

Of all the visual skills possessed by humans, face recognition is arguably the most developed. Past brain imaging studies have shown that the brain's cortical network for face perception includes regions in visual cortex that process the identification of individuals as well as social cues, such as gaze direction and speech-related movements; the amygdala and insula, where facial expressions are processed; and regions in prefrontal cortex and the reward circuitry, where the assessment of facial beauty is processed. Numerous studies have shown that the neural response to faces is modulated by cognitive factors such as familiarity, attention, memory, visual imagery, and emotion. For example, recent empirical evidence indicates that emotional faces (e.g., happy, fearful, or angry faces) evoke stronger neural activation than neutral faces, presumably as a result of their biological importance. It is currently unknown, however, whether the response to faces is modulated by gender or sexual orientation.

Social communication requires the accurate analysis of the intentions of other individuals. To this end, men and women likely adopt strategies of "face reading" in order to successfully interact with potential sexual partners. Thus, it is reasonable to assume differential patterns of activation in the hetero- and homosexual brains in response to faces of the same or opposite sex. In their new work, the researchers hypothesized that hetero- and homosexual subjects would exhibit a greater response to faces they deem sexually preferable. Specifically, the researchers predicted similar responses to male and female faces in the visual cortex, where facial identity is processed, but differential responses in the amygdala and the reward circuitry, where a "value" is assigned to faces. The researchers postulated that heterosexual women and homosexual men would show a greater response in these areas to male than to female faces, whereas heterosexual men and homosexual women would respond more to female than to male faces.

To test this hypothesis, the researchers used functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI), a non-invasive technique that permits the localization of regions in the human brain activated during cognition and experience. The researchers scanned 40 subjects (10 heterosexual women, 10 heterosexual men, 10 homosexual women, 10 homosexual men, mean age 26 ± 3 years) that were classified as hetero- or homosexuals on the basis of their self-report. While in the MR scanner, the subjects either passively viewed faces or pressed one of three buttons to indicate whether a face was Attractive, Neutral, or Unattractive, and reaction times were recorded.

Behaviorally, regardless of their gender and sexual orientation, all subjects rated the attractiveness of both male and female faces very similarly, suggesting that men and women equally notice and respond to beauty of individuals of the same and opposite sexes. Interestingly, all subjects, regardless of their gender or sexual preference, also showed virtually identical patterns of neural activation in regions in the visual cortex and the limbic system, where male and female faces elicited responses of similar magnitude. The findings indicated that invariant (facial identity) and variant (facial expression) features are similarly processed in the brain, independent of the gender of the individual who is viewed or the sexual orientation of the viewer.

The researchers found that, consistent with their hypothesis, the gender of a viewed individual, when the sexual preference of the viewer was taken into account, did make a difference in the reactions seen in the thalamus and the orbitofrontal cortex, a region of the brain's reward circuitry. Heterosexual women and homosexual men exhibited a significantly greater response to male faces, whereas heterosexual men and homosexual women responded significantly more to female faces.

The orbitofrontal cortex is known to be involved in representing the reward value of various sensory stimuli, including beautiful faces, as well as the reward value of abstract positive (for example, money) and negative (for example, punishment) entities. What could this mean for interpreting socially relevant information? Past work has shown that patients with lesions in orbitofrontal cortex are impaired in their ability to identify emotional facial expressions, suggesting that this region has an important role in the processing of facial cues required for social communication. In this light, the researchers suggest that the observed modulation by sexual preference of the response to faces within the orbitofrontal cortex extends the role of this brain region in social behavior.

Does the orbitofrontal cortex play a role in evaluating potential reproductive partners? Facial beauty is considered a marker for reproductive fitness. Not surprisingly, recent studies have reported that facial beauty evokes activation in the brain's reward circuitry. It has been suggested that the rewarding, evolutionarily adaptive value of an attractive face can be dissociated from its aesthetic value: for example, an attractive opposite-sex face may signal that a potential sexual partner has a healthy genotype, but an attractive, same-sex face cannot indicate such reproductive benefits. The orbitofrontal cortex could therefore mediate the evolutionary, adaptive value of attractive, opposite-sex faces, thus providing putative neural correlates for the assessment of potential mates for reproductive purposes. However, the researchers in fact did not find neural evidence in support of such dissociation between attractive faces of the opposite sex, reflecting reproductive benefits, and attractive faces of the same sex, reflecting aesthetic appraisal of beauty. Rather, the researchers' findings indicated that the orbitofrontal cortex has a more general role in representing the reward value of faces of potential sexual partners, including same-sex mates, irrespective of reproduction.

The findings suggest that the response to faces in the reward circuitry is modulated by sexual preference, and they provide neural evidence for the role of face processing in mating.

The researchers include Felicitas Kranz and Alumit Ishai of the University of Zurich and the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Zurich, Switzerland. This study was supported by the Swiss National Science Foundation grant 3200B0-105278.

Kranz et al.: "Face Perception is Modulated by Sexual Preference." Publishing in Current Biology Vol. 16, Issue 1, pages 63-68, January 10, 2006. DOI 10.1016/j.cub.2005.10.070, http://www.current-biology.com

Heidi Hardman
hhardman@cell.com
Cell Press
www.cellpress.com


I know blah, blah, blah .........another scientific study on something that is self evident. i.e. Gay people are different....OMG...LOL... I actually think it is interesting. Scientists and their endless studies of sex, are for the most part stuck in the reproductive paradigm of sex. REPRODUCE...REPRODUCE...REPRODUCE Oh that blind driving force of reproduction. So if your having gay sex with your boyfriend your out of the reproduction loop..your not being [RE]productive..blah , blah, blah.....This is why in the past homosexuality was deemed infantile and selfish. Only in the last few years has the scientific community allowed for the possibility that a certain small percentage of people are wired sexually in a different way.

I think the male face is erotic. To quote the fore mentioned article, "Of all the visual skills possessed by humans, face recognition is arguably the most developed."

Using your face as a sexual organ:

Faceless porn is boring after a few minutes..big pole going into little hole...but if you add faces and expressions..then that becomes electric. I love the fact that our faces, mouths and lips can be sexual organs. It is so much more intimate. As a deep throating cocksucker you engage more of your senses..taste..smell..and if you keep your eyes open sight.

On a metaphysical level..if you can take the hard prick into your throat you can activate "the Venus" center....and that is a wonder. In fact three chakras or metaphysical energy points are located in your head and neck.

[COLOR=Magenta]Sex magick: [/COLOR]
As I have mentioned before I learned to deep throat by meditating on my Venus center using a magickal sigil. (provided by my teacher) Part of this exercise was harvesting the excess Mars energy(also using a sigil) and storing it in the throat center....it required a two week period of anal sex abstinence (sealing)...... that was rough.....no jacking either, but when the exercise was mastered the rewards were 3 fold: I was able to easily take my b/f's big schlong into my throat beyond the gag reflex and give and get immense pleasure. I was able to use this sex energy in a magickal way ...(using the magickal voice). The third way and probably the most rewarding was the resulting enhanced self esteem. My self esteem was enhanced because I was able to integrate and use a part of me that had been dormant or even damaged by prejudicial conditioning.

If you peek into my gallery you can find a gallery on facials..males with sperm on their faces....your face is so intimate and personal..when you let another male pollinate your face...your really saying something.

Bit of a ramble....I think Gay sex.... Male on Male gay sex that is....is like saturating colors in art. It's intensity enhanced. ST8 sex is like mixing colors....

Good News: I GOT SLAMMED with some Evening delight.....my nips are as dark red and still dented with molar marks.......he took me to a place of intense energy...I was up to 2pm....
 
God..I loved Paul. He was such a chaotic guy. We were good friends. He had a hard time with drugs and alcohol and also with boyfriends. He was a mess. He was a strange mix of Celtic light and dark. He had been a rent boy and also in the US Navy. As a boy whore in South Boston he converted from Irish Catholic to Orthodox Presbyterian..but kept on tricking. The amount of male sexual partners he claimed was astronomical...even for me. He made me feel like a prude. We became very good friends..and I became, for a while his care giver. He came out to me in Ft. Lauderdale, Fl...we went to all the gay bars and clubs and took a side trip to Key West ...with our ST8 buddy Andy.....we were actually working on a research vessel and had a week or two "working vacation" in Florida. every so often. When he was drunk or high he was a "cum dump"...wild and insatiable. I saw him many times and in many places covered in and leaking sperm..smelling like a distillery...I'd clean him up and put him to bed and even do his work....if he couldn't. See Paul was HIV + and on the verge of AIDS. He would then sober up while we were at sea and be clean...and he would start trying to convert me to his very strict evangelical orthodoxy. He was always saying I should go ST8 and marry my child's mother and that God would bless my sacrifice....I even went to his little informal Bible studies...Back in Virginia I moved in with him as a roommate for a couple months while I was setting up a place of my own.......he would go drinking close the bars and then go to the after hours club..??? on Olney Road...then call me to pick him up at 4 AM...and go to work at 7AM....or not....

He lost his good paying job...while I was on another project..due to driving the company car drunk....As his health declined..he moved to San Diego and got into a Nurses Aid type vocational class l sponsored by his very tight assed church....they found out he was Gay and HIV + and kicked him out....he moved to his sisters and died....

I just felt like remembering Paul today....I love you Paul...

I only know he died because I found his very brief obit .

When I look at that posted Pic of him and me off Bermuda I can hear his goofey voice...
 

I had a busy week...got a new wall unit and I had to put it together..solid wood...but needed assembly...I am actually using it as a room divider.... had to get rid of the old junk. Moving everything around revealed lots of dust and dirt....cat hair....I really love/like my 2 cats..we have been together 12 years ....but they are a constant source of house cleaning. And anyone coming to dry urban So. Cal...get used to the fine powdery dust and black soot (auto exhaust..?)..it's at my office and at my house..so I assume it's urban car residue.

I worked most of the weekend and it was busy...but on Sunday our event was canceled because of the strong freakish wind...I stayed until 6pm to clean up...early night...trees were down..rough getting home...

Monday , bright and early we went to the Preview of the "New" Getty Villa in Malibu....( we got tickets because the B/F is Lord Muck) the Villa is modeled on a Roman Villa and reminds me of Pompeii..except it's intact...40 kinds of imported marble ..blah, blah, blah... It is so impressive it is hard to talk about...We hooked up with some Gay Gettyites and that was fun...
There is an important piece of ancient Gay history in one of the galleries....A theater seat dedicated to the memory of Harmodius and Aristogeiton who were lovers as well as tyrant-slayers. These lovers toppled the tyrant Hipparchus and reestablished democracy in Athens.
In another gallery there is two marble heads of Alexander the Great and his beloved Hephaestion... these busts were part of a shrine erected to Hephaestion after his death.
The Getty Villa collection is vast, but the selection on display is very manageable and the display notes are wonderful.
There is also a beautiful display of Fayum portraits and also an intact mummy with it's fayum portrait still in place....many of these "life masks" were painted with an encaustic technique and have a lot of detail. If you get a chance take a good look at the jewelry and the ancient glass. There is also a small gallery dedicated to ancient magick.
The gardens are wonderful..we ate our free lunch in one of the gardens...over looking the calm and shining Pacific....... Surely this was a billionaire's view.

A lot of the white marble statues and buildings (Parthenon) were painted and/or gilded..you can see some residue of the color on ceratin statues...sort of changes that cold Neo-classical feel.


Thoughts:

I read GDannyboys blog here on JUB and he his last entry was about writing his "own" cosmology. Cosmology is the philosophy that looks at origins. The great Monotheistic cosmologies are actually homophobic and their reasoning procreational...even the scientific cosmology is procreational...breeding and gene driven...no place for the gay boi in these stories. But don't despair..the ancient cosmolgies are loaded with homoeros..even overloaded.
My own cosmology is energetic vs material..which puts me in a gnostic, yet pantheistic cast...but I don't think matter is bad..it is just slows you down...the material universe allows the "soul" to be creative and to work out solutions. I don't believe in evil archons..just the limitations of the field of time: No gods or goddesses just immense fields of possibilities.
I believe my actions and my life are expanding the divine idea and this idea is continually creating the "Field of Time". One day the physical universe will collapse and all the bits and piece will be sucked back into the primordial infinity...but this infinity will somehow be changed or colored by my life....

Thanks Dan.


[COLOR=Navy]Karen Armstrong's book Holy War is moving right along nicely....A whole section deals with a history of the Palestinian struggle...which is something most Americans are ignorant of or ignore....i.e. Palestinians not pictured as terrorists...and she also explores some of the Israeli feelings expressed in Israeli literature..which shows the terrible burden the Israeli psyche experiences under the whole mess. As I have stated before..I believe Israel has a right to exist as a sovereign state...with defensible borders....but not because of some dusty manuscript called Scripture[/COLOR]....
 
I worked some long hours this weekend and have lost my train of thought. I try an use my paper journal..but that too was left in the flurry of activity...seems a lot of the marketing we did paid off..but I am a little numb.
I talked to two Los Angeles based artists on Saturday and felt connected (again or once more) to the world of art...and I mean painting..fine art..folk art...not acting. Most people in Los Angeles who call themselves...artists are actors...and indeed they are artists...so it was good to talk to these people..I even got to see some of their works. So I came home and painted and repainted....

Cruising through Craigslist's Men for Men..I have been looking at pictures of men my age..50-55. Some of these men are exceedingly sloppy...men with rolls of fat in a dirty shirts and bad hair..they are looking for love....or just a quickie..or now... I know how they feel. Most of these guys look like they gave up on themselves years ago. These men have become invisible in the gay world. I am adding over 40/50 men to my galleries as soon as I get enough pics...

We have all be over washed by the images from porn......the language of porn........the sex style of porn. Pornographers have become our[gay] image makers. I am not finding fault or conndeming pornography. The flood of gay porn has changed me as a sexual person. Before the internet and DVD gay porn was much harder to get. My sexual life was formed by my interactions with living breathing men..with flaws and blemishes. But, now I can down load a picture of a perfect Brazilian muscle hunk with a perfect uncut 9X6 cock and he becomes my paragon of desire...all his flaws are airbrushed away..his cock may be photoshoped just a little. I don't care.........but he is now my standard....and my utter disappointment
.
 
A mixed bag today.. I have been cleaning the apartment...I got a new hand woven rug for the bedroom...and took up the antique persian...to much wear ..I don't know what to do with it. The Persian rug has mellowed vegetable dyed colors...the brown in the design has an etched look to it because the dye that was used was acidic and has left the fiber shorter than the other fibers..and is one sign of an antique rug...and the feel of the rug is soft and sensual...The new hand loomed rug is beautiful in it's own right....If I were rich and didn't have "cats" I would fill my house with large antique Persian and Turkish carpets. I fell in love with these carpets when I visited Turkey in 1980. I meet a Turkish man who took me on a tour of some old Byzantine churches which had been converted into mosques..the floors in these buildings were covered in layers of antique rugs..centuries of donations....The Turkish man was "hot" hairy and sexually aggressive...but, that is another story....okay I was in Istanbul for 10 days and this hunky Turk fucked me silly.
RANT:
A story about illegal day laborers is big here in California. There is a huge illegal immigrant population residing here...mainly Mexican and other Latin American people. Many of the men stand around the building supply stores hoping some one will hire them to do a job. Sometimes these men are bilked out of their wages and some are given less than their agreed wage....The controversy isn't as strong here in the People's Republic of Los angeles [City] not County...but is down South of here in the OC...Orange County is the home of the anti illegal movement, the so called "Minute Man" movement. The protests and the counter protests have heated up the News and the blog-o-sphere..with a lot of "white" people being very aggressively anti Latino or actually any new immigrant. NEWS FLASH: Amerika has always been heterogenous. Amerika has thrived on three commodities..cheap energy...cheap raw materials..and cheap labor. I saw a confrontation between groups in Costa Mesa...on the local evening news...the latinos are shouting "racist" and the Anglos shouting "Go back to Mexico" .....Anglo meaning any Euro/Caucasian.
The Anglo people fear being overwhelmed by brown skinned people... These Anglos are mainly middle class and of a certain age. They have enjoyed the good life..nice homes..good schools..beautiful highways..and parks. These people are the backbone of the center-right political movement which has ruled Amerika forever....they are not evil or crazy, just afraid. However, these Anglos have also reaped the benefit of illegal brown immigration.
I believe the bedrock of this Anglo fear lies in the unresolved problems of racism and exploitation. Instead of finding some sort of reasonable resolution to illegal immigration "We" have a proposed "Great Wall" solution. The wall didn't work for China it won't work for Amerika.
In the mid 21 th century the aging Anglo Amerikan population will become a plurality.

I have been looking at pics of ugly uncut cock and cut cock, too..bent and lumpy ones ...uncut schlongs with purple oozing knobs....red, bumpy cocks with thick shafts and micro heads...I remember one of my fuck buddies... Bob . Bob's hard cock....would become so engorged it would sort of knot up and the head would bend at an odd angle..it was very hairy on the underside of the shaft...and oddly pale...but it really opened you up.... I also remember another guy, ST8 Henry...small ugly dick...thin pencil-like shaft with a dark dark red misshaped cock head covered by a long .........long foreskin....he never really got it really clean ..I liked sex with him because it was so animal..he would cum in long stringy ropes.....Forget the porn stars with the pretty perfect dicks...I like the hairy satyr sex energy animal dicks .
 
I guess I live on the edge of Gay/Queer culture. I don't seem to have much connection politically or socially to the gay community. This is not a new feeling for me..this disconnect. Being part of JUB is probably the most connected I have ever felt to anything Gay. It's not like I have been closeted or ashamed of being gay. I started sucking dick when I was fourteen and loved it. Sure, in my late teens I tried to go ST8, but that was induced by religion and that feeling of apocalypse which hung over the late 60's. The ST8 gig was up by the time I was in my mid twenties and so was the Christian religion. Over the years I have tried to join in and be part of the GLBT community....It never happened. I volunteered for this and that..I've even protested in front of the Virginia Pilot (newspaper) and also a homophobic Baptist Church (Norfolk, Va) . I went to the March on Washington in 1993.... I've also been part of GLBT seminars given various Neo pagan events...and nothing seems to jell. I am not alone or lonely..I have a ton of gay/queer and lesbian friends....but I would like to contribute of a wider circle. My current Gay/Queer hero is Peter Tatchell. I guess this is how on some level I want to be connected....?? I guess in many ways my blogging is my attempt ..yet again, to form a meaningful connection to a wider GLBT community.

From Doug Ireland's Direland (blog):

PETER TATCHELL GETS HIS DUE
In today's edition of the London daily The Independent, there's an article about the aggressive gay and human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell (left), whose indefatigable work I've long appreciated. The man who defeated Peter in an election for a parliamentary seat two decades ago -- thanks to a vicious homophobic campaign -- Simon Hughes, has recently come out of the closet, and has also apologized in public to Tatchell for what he did to him 22 years ago, putting an end to Tatchell's budding political career. Hughes (above right) is currently one of the top two contenders in the contest for the leadership of Britain's Liberal Democrats.

Today's Independent writes: "Peter Tatchell was once perhaps the most execrated man in British politics. He was - to restrict ourselves to quotations from just one newspaper, the Daily Mail --'loony', 'scabrous', 'repellent', 'repulsive', 'sour', 'humourless', 'obnoxious' and a 'homosexual terrorist'. But that was before, five years back, Tatchell tried to make a citizen's arrest on the Zimbabwean president, Robert Mugabe (right), on charges against the 1984 UN Convention Against Torture, and was soundly beaten by Mugabe's bodyguards for his pains. He did not give up, but tried again in Paris and in London." [Note: Mugabe is a ruthless dictator who has used violence and imprisonment against political opponents, as well as being a notorious anti-gay demagogue -- he's said that gays and lesbians "are worse than pigs and dogs" -- who criminalized homosexuality and authorized his political gangs to engage in street lynchings of gay Zimbabweans -- D.I.]

"Ever since," The Independent continued, "Tatchell has variously been 'a national hero' (The Sunday Times), 'a civil rights campaigner we can all applaud' (Sunday Telegraph) and 'Heroic ... an example to us all' (Daily Mail)...." Read the entire profile of Peter Tatchell by clicking here. You can then visit the website of the militant gay rights group Tatchell founded and leads, OutRage! -- which most recently has played a critical role in attracting world-wide attention to the lethal anti-gay pogrom that is ongoing in the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Elton John recently said of Tatchell, ""He's incredibly brave... doing good work in a world where most people are too timid - he keeps sticking at it." Peter, we salute you!


As a Queer magickal childe the bedrock of my philosophy is a gnostic one. Gnosticism is based on "knowledge". A special celestial knowledge passed down in an initiatic way. The gnostic religions have taken many forms and have had many different personas. The cobbled religion system I invented for myself (Neo paganism + Buddhism + Hermetic Qabalah and with a strong experience in Spiritualism) is firmly in the gnostic camp. As a spiritualist trance medium I have been touched in a positive way by this "higher" gnosis.
Many Gay men have been in the forefront of this gnostic religious experience. Perhaps, this prominence is because the queer experience is one of the outsider, or perhaps it has to do with sensitivity or with the willingness for many gay men to be penetrated. Whatever the reason many Queer men have been in the forefront of the modern gnostic experience. The American poet, James Merrill comes to my mind as a perfect example of the dovetailing of gnosis and queerness. His brilliant epic , The Changing Light at Sandover was woven from his extraordinary poetic talent and guided by spirit mediumship via a Ouija board. Merrill with his husband , David Noyes Jackson reveal a gnostic and poetic world filled with pneuma and higher power. I think it is interesting that Merrill won the Pulitzer prize for the first segment, The Book of Ephraim in 1977. At this moment I am reading the second segment of this "greatest" American epic poem, Mirabell: The Books of Number..it is so luminous and the poetry is so wonderful..it is hard to put down. It images and words dance upon my 3rd eye and create pressure in my throat chakra....very powerful. In my mind the Gay/Queer male experience is in many ways a Spiritual and Gnostic experience.
 
I have loved and studied the tarot cards for over twenty years. My first "real" Gay (or sometimes Bi) boyfriend was a tarot reader. He would give marvellous tarot readings for me and they seemed to be right on the money. This same man was also the person who initiated me into a "magickal practice" . There are many speculations on the origin of the tarot deck, but we know they appear in full bloom in Italy in the 15th century. Specialists in Tarot history also point to the region of Southern France especially Marseilles.

Here is a blurb by tarot historian Mark Filipas:

The Tarot first appeared in northern Italy, during the birth of Europe’s cultural revolution. Those original decks were probably designed between 1420 and 1440, although the earliest extant cards date from later in the 1400s.

This Italian game eventually made its way throughout Europe, and countries such as France, Spain, and Germany soon became major cardmaking centers themselves. This spread and popularity resulted in a variety of different Tarot decks. But because there are few surviving early decks, and because the cards themselves were neither named nor numbered until several decades after their invention, it is uncertain which pattern represents the original sequence of allegories


The Marseilles pattern—so named because it characterizes the decks traditionally produced in Marseilles, France—is only one of several early variations. Nonetheless, it represents one candidate for the earliest sequence of trumps, and many of its images echo the earliest designs from the 1400s. Its pattern can be traced back at least to the 1660s with the Tarot by Jean Noblet, and to 1672 with the Tarot of Francois Chosson. Other well-known examples of this pattern are the 1748 Tarot by Grimaud and the 1760 Tarot by Nicolas Conver.

Since these creators left no manual for their decks, we must look for explanatory clues in the details of the designs themselves. We can also look to the cultural context in which these cards first appeared. Yet while the designs show a variety of influences—such as social hierarchy, the Virtues, Biblical and classical allusions, astrology and perhaps even alchemy—these do not adequately explain why the Tarot’s early designers settled upon this specific set of designs, or why they arranged the designs in this particular sequence.


Did the Hebrew alphabet influence the early Tarot’s design?

This question has been hotly debated now for more than a century. At one end of the spectrum are those who argue that the letters were fundamentally associated with the trumps from the beginning. At the other end are those who argue that there is no evidence to conclude any link between the early Tarot and the Hebrew alphabet.

....there is ... new research showing a demonstrable correspondence between the Hebrew letters and the Marseilles Tarot. That correspondence lies within the medieval Hebrew lexicon, which contains an alphabetical sequence of words corresponding to the 22 allegorical subjects. Each trump, in effect, illustrates one Hebrew letter in much the same way as a child’s English primer echoes “A is for apple” and “B is for boy”. Not only can the allegorical subjects be found in alphabetical sequence, but virtually every item on each trump can be found with the same initial letter, suggesting the Tarot of Marseilles to be a “visual abecedarium” of the Hebrew alphabet.

These correspondences can only fully be found in the lexicon as it existed at the time of the early Tarot, such as is represented by Jastrow’s Dictionary of the Targumim, Talmud Balbi, Yerushalmi and Midrashic Literature and Grossman’s Compendious Hebrew–English Dictionary. These findings are further restricted to an analysis of only two patterns, the Marseilles Tarot (as typified by decks such as the Conver) and the Tarocchino Milanese (designed by Carlo Dellarocca).

This theory follows the current historical consensus that the trumps were first created in Northern Italy during the first half of the 15th century and that its designs incorporated allegories which were popular at that time. It does not posit that the Tarot was designed with kabbalistic intentions, nor does it suggest that the creators of such designs would have had to have been Jewish. What this theory does show is that a singular correspondence exists between trumps and lexicon; that the many alphabetic pursuits existing at the time and place of the early designs must be examined as potential influences; that both the Marseilles and Dellarocca patterns may have been intentionally designed as a Hebrew alphabetical sequence.


Mark's tarot history site is well written and insightful. It goes into a great deal of depth and pretty well covers the historical aspects. However, one of the reasons I love the tarot is it's mysterious emergence onto the European scene almost full formed, at least in format. The esoteric history of the tarot is a different ball of wax. The secret tarot history is subtle and occult. Some tarot stories point to Alexandria and it's great library as a source. At the destruction of the great library some adepts or sages transmitted hidden knowledge into symbols which evolved into what we now know as the tarot. In this esoteric history the tarot finally crosses into Europe via Fez in North Africa.
The esoteric story sort of rings true for me...not because I am a true believer, but because there seems to be a connection between Africa and other European divination and occult systems. The revival of [high] magick, art and architecture in Renaissance Europe can be directly correlated to the finding of the late antiquity Hermetic texts from Egypt. A lesser known divination system which swept Europe in Medieval times was a system we now call Western Geomancy. If you have read or seen Harry Potter you are familiar with some of it's symbolism which Rawlings uses as names..i.e....Rubius and Albus. Western Geomancy and it's binary methods and it's 16 figures can be traced ultimately to sub Saharan Africa. The African and Arabic cultural influence in Europe was ignored until quite recently, but is part of the esoteric history.

When I read the tarot I am trying to see a chain of events. There are 78 cards in the tarot 22 major and 56 minor each one different. In reading the Tarot subtilty is the key. Here is a synopsis of my last Saturday reading: Before each and every reading I perform the LBRP....lesser banishing ritual of the pentagram + a qabalistic cross. I then entrance myself in a light trance...open my inner self up to the 4 directions..the 4 elements and the 4 states of being....(past, future, heavenly and underworld). I may place myself in my astral temple....I myself am the 13th point. After all these years it takes about 5 minutes.... I draw 5 cards in the form of a cross..the middle card represents my energy for the reading...this time it was the Emperor 0r #4 , which is a major card...the card of ordering your household...Aries rules this card...it can also mean a new way of looking. windows, to are associated with this card (doors are associated with the Empress). The energy that is coming into my week is just to the left of the center card and is the 9 of swords....named cruelty..= Mars in Gemini ..cruelty on a mental level...this can be an outside influence...or a self generated influence...it's also an astral cruelty...not pretty, but I can cope. To the right of the Emperor is the future or what energy will manifest ..and that card was a court card..the page/princess of Swords, a mental court card...more personal than the 9 of swords. The page/princess of swords is Earth of Air..the princess of rushing winds...this energy blows the mental cobwebs and and mental detritus out of the Emperor's window....not pleasant , but needful.......The vertical arms of this cross represent above and below. The card below the Emperor is The King of Cups . At a foundation for the reading...something emotional is happening. I take the normal minor cards as less personal, but the court cards are personal and can even represent people coming and going...The kings represent the Radix or commencement of a thing..the fire in water..a phoenix..also emotional wisdom...perhaps some sage will bring a personal emotional healing...I'll be looking. The card above is the card of heaven and here the card is The Queen of Swords...to many swords in this reading for my taste...but there is no getting around the fact of "the mental quality of this weekly reading....The Queen of Swords represents the emergence of a new idea...perhaps birthed with a lot of pain...she is water of Air.... Finally the last card..which I call a summary....I deal three cards....As I turn the cards over ..if one is a major or Trump..I call it the Resolution...this week it is the STAR....#17. A card ruled by Aquarius and is a card of renewal and healing.... So the reading says it will be a mental week...not without some turbulence..but not to bad.
 
Yeah for me... (!) (!) (!)

My little diet and exercise program has started to work. I am one of those men who gain weight easily. Over the last holiday period I was careless. My new job also put me in a situation of being around party food at least 4 times a month....all my favorites..chocolates, cookies and tasty bread thingees and beautiful dips.....I went to a lot of open houses and parties with my partner in conjunction with his work....we also went out more. This year we also received a lot of candy as gifts...and fruitcakes...I gained 9 lbs in less than 2 months....yikes...I was up to 167 lbs, which isn't too bad on my 5'10" medium build frame. But... I was on a roll...I couldn't stop eating....but I feel I have it under control again...and have lost 3 lbs.....my target is 158 lbs.

When I took my new job..I quit exercising....I guess the new routine just threw me for a loop. But I'm back doing body core exercises and some strengthening exercises, too. I have to be very careful....I have two really delicate areas ..one is my lower back....if it goes out..I have to quit my routine and let it heal....it's a chronic problem. The second area is my left elbow and left wrist..the elbow problem is a military related injury it will swell and become painful if I work it to much....and the wrist is also a military related injury.....typing on old heavy teletypes..... I also have to watch the left knee as well, which is a skating injury from when I was a kid...I guess my whole left side is a mess.....but so far I have been careful and only have moderate discomfort.....however working my abs is no prob and I can get a good burn.....

Here is my diet: low card cereal (w/soy milk) & an apple + coffee for breakfast. For lunch a high protein bar or shake or canned fish + an apple or pear....snacks include sunflower seeds, pork rinds , coffee and teas....The evening meal any lean white meat...I cook in a George Foreman grill ....fresh steamed veggies ++++fresh veggie juice.....evening snakes mixed nuts ....decaf coffee or teas....no eating after 8pm.....

foods which I have mostly eliminated: bread, sugar, cookies, cakes, pies, chips, dairy (except yogurt and hard grated cheese)...alcohol, soda pop. I also allow myself a free meal or desert....I just know my body is sensitive to these goodies.

My health is good...blood pressure is 115/70..my blood sugar shows no sign of diabetes. my heart checks out good with a good slow resting pulse........my blood work shows only a very moderate concern with cholesterol.

So I'll keep you posted....
 
Here is a hot tip from "Men's Health and Fitness"

Sugar makes you fat. That may seem like a given, but by understanding why, you can minimize sugar's harmful effects and create a leaner, healthier body.

Eating sugar is like flipping a switch that tells your body to store fat. And sugar is everywhere—not just in soda, candy and desserts. It's disguised in refined carbohydrates like bread, rice and pasta, and even in beer and milk. Your body can't tell the difference—it quickly digests and absorbs all these sugars into your bloodstream as glucose.

This means most men eat the equivalent of a high-sugar diet—even if they've sworn off sweets. Case in point: During digestion, one slice of white bread is converted into the same amount of glucose as 4 tablespoons of sugar.

Here's what happens: Every time you eat sugar, your blood-glucose level rises quickly. In turn, this stimulates the release of insulin, a powerful hormone that signals your body to store fat. There's also a dose response: The more sugar you down at any one time—resulting in a greater rise in blood glucose and, consequently, in insulin—the longer you stay in fat-storage mode.

Of course, you may not be ready to give up sandwiches, fried rice, and spaghetti. But use the cutting-edge strategies that follow and you can slow the rate at which sugar is absorbed into your bloodstream. The payoff: You'll diminish the impact any food has on your glucose levels — and on your body's ability to burn fat. Consider it nutritional damage control. And the benefits extend beyond the physiology of fat metabolism. Research shows that keeping blood-glucose levels in check decreases appetite and reduces the risk of diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. Fortunately, that's not just industry marketing hype; it's a scientific reality.

Skip the granola bar.


Ohio State University scientists recently studied the effects of three popular energy bars containing varying amounts of carbohydrates—low, moderate and high—on blood glucose in 20 people. Compared with the effects of white bread, blood-glucose levels were 71 percent lower after an Atkins Advantage Bar, 50 percent lower after a Balance Bar, and just 4 percent lower after a PowerBar. If you want a convenient snack, avoid most breakfast, cereal and "performance" bars—they're full of sugar. Instead, choose a product like Atkins Advantage, which contains just 21 grams (g) of carbohydrates.

Douse your salad with vinaigrette.

In a 2005 study, Swedish researchers observed that when people consumed two tablespoons of vinegar with three slices of white bread, their blood glucose was 23 percent lower than when they ate white bread only; they also felt more full. Credit acetic acid, a primary component of vinegar, dressings and pickled products. The advice: Order extra pickles on sandwiches and begin any high-carbohydrate meal with a side salad that's mixed with a vinegar-based dressing, such as balsamic vinaigrette or Italian. Or make your own vinegar-and-oil dressing by slowly whisking two tablespoons of olive oil into a bowl containing two tablespoons of red or white vinegar.

Stop Storing Fat

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These easy dietary tweaks make it happen
by Jeff Volek, Ph.D, R.D., Men's Health;
(Story continued...)

Pop a fiber pill.

Researchers in Taiwan found that taking 1.2 g glucomannan—a soluble fiber made from the Japanese konjac root—30 minutes before eating white toast led to a 28 percent reduction in blood glucose two hours afterward, compared with having none of the fiber supplement. Better yet, when people took that same amount of glucomannan before each meal three times a day, they reduced LDL (bad) cholesterol by 21 percent in just 4 weeks. Look for Nature's Way glucomannan: One serving contains 2 g of the fiber, a safe and effective amount to take 15 to 30 minutes before any meal.

Eat java-friendly foods.

Canadian researchers discovered that men who downed the caffeine equivalent of 1 to 2 cups of coffee an hour before a high-sugar meal experienced 16 percent higher levels of blood glucose afterward, compared with when they consumed a caffeine-free placebo. An important point: When it's not paired with sugar, caffeine increases the rate at which your body burns fat. So, whenever possible, drink the coffee but skip the doughnut, muffin, or bagel. Opt for breakfast foods like eggs and fruit instead; they have little or no effect on blood glucose.

Add some metal to your diet.

In a recent study, Swiss scientists gave men a single 400 microgram (mcg) dose of chromium picolinate before a high-carbohydrate meal. Subsequently, the men's blood-glucose levels were 23 percent lower than when they ate the same meal without the supplement. Try it yourself, but make sure the mineral name includes "picolinate"; the compound is the form of chromium that your body can most readily use. Our choice: GNC Chromium Picolinate 400 . Don't double your dose; the researchers found that 800 mcg was no more effective than 400.

Pump iron first thing in the morning.

Scientists at Syracuse University recently found that a single weight-training session reduces the effect of a high-sugar meal on blood glucose by 15 percent for more than 12 hours after a workout. The likely reason: Exercise drains your muscles' fuel reserves—stored glucose known as glycogen. To ensure that you have plenty of energy for your next workout, your body immediately shuttles any available glucose to your muscles, where it's packed away for future use—helping to reduce blood-glucose levels. So until glycogen levels are replenished, which can take several hours, high-sugar foods aren't as detrimental. Because aerobic exercise calls on glycogen, too, you can expect a similar effect from your cardio session.

Try a natural supplement.

When University of Scranton researchers gave study participants 1,500 milligrams of Phaseolus vulgaris extract (derived from white kidney beans) before a high-sugar meal, the test subjects' blood-glucose levels were 57 percent lower two hours later, compared with when they consumed a placebo. The mechanism? Phaseolus vulgaris inhibits the enzyme that breaks down starchy carbohydrates—any type of grain or potato—in your gut.


Fat is not the only reason to skip sugar. For me the main reason is Adult OnSet Diabetes or type II diabetes. In the early 19th century the average American ate the equivalent of 5 lbs of sugar a year. It was an expensive treat. Sugar was locked up in special sugar boxes. It is estimated that today Americans consume over 150lbs a year....

This has nothing to do with my anti sugar rant

One of my grandfather's had a patch of maple trees they called a "sugar bush" and he made maple syrup and some maple sugar...it took a lot of time, effort and back breaking work to harvest it....they sold the land when I was a small child, but I have some vague memories of "helping"...If we had Maple syrup we would put it on all our fried breakfast foods....I could drink a whole gallon right now....

Rant continued:

It wasn't till the late 19th century that sugar and sugar laden products became common on the American table. Since then diabetes and other related diseases have increased almost exponentially. The natural health guru , Gary Noll talks a lot about insulin resistance and sugar consumption. Not only does the flood of sugar keep your insulin levels up...your body begins to be resistant to insulin. I copied this from a Stanford site

What is insulin resistance?
Insulin resistance occurs when the normal amount of insulin secreted by the pancreas is not able to unlock the door to cells. To maintain a normal blood glucose, the pancreas secretes additional insulin. In some cases (about 1/3 of the people with insulin resistance), when the body cells resist or do not respond to even high levels of insulin, glucose builds up in the blood resulting in high blood glucose or type 2 diabetes. Even people with diabetes who take oral medication or require insulin injections to control their blood glucose levels can have higher than normal blood insulin levels due to insulin resistance.

Why is insulin resistance in the news?
More and more people in the U.S. are becoming obese, physically inactive, or both. Obesity and physical inactivity aggravate insulin resistance. Also, people who are insulin resistant typically have an imbalance in their blood lipids (blood fat). They have an increased level of triglycerides (blood fat) and a decreased level of HDL (good) cholesterol. Imbalances in triglycerides and HDL cholesterol increase the risk for heart disease. These findings have heightened awareness of insulin resistance and its impact on health.

What is Syndrome X?
Another term heard in the news is Syndrome X. Syndrome X is a cluster of risk factors for heart disease associated with insulin resistance. These risk factors include: hypertriglyceridemia (high blood lipid), low HDL-cholesterol, hyperinsulinemia (high blood insulin), often hyperglycemia (high blood glucose), and hypertension (high blood pressure).

Who has insulin resistance?
Almost all individuals with type 2 diabetes mellitus (diabetes) and many with hypertension, cardiovascular disease, and obesity are insulin resistant. These diseases and conditions are predominantly found in countries with an improved economic status such as the U.S. And in the U.S., these diseases and conditions are among the leading contributors to morbidity and mortality. Also, about 20-25% of the healthy population may be insulin resistant.

What are the symptoms of insulin resistance?
There are no outward physical signs of insulin resistance. A glucose tolerance test, during which insulin and blood glucose are measured, can help determine if someone is insulin resistant. Many people who are insulin resistant produce large enough quantities of insulin to maintain near normal blood glucose levels
.

I have my blood sugar level tested a couple times a year and have maintained good readings...

I noticed after I stopped eating sugar and sugar products....some foods have a nice natural sweet taste...and my gums stopped bleeding....

I'm not a puritan...there is room in my life for a celebration meal... a glass of wine or a cocktail...I just have learned to stop at one.

I visited the Getty Museum on the Mountain yesterday and saw the four changing exhibitions....I took the bus...in front of me this young guy got on and sat down ..on his way to UCLA...he was a grad student...he had a grad school paper he was reading....I was reading it over his shoulder...he was thin ..cute curly brown hair...very pale skin..sort of like one of the main hobbit characters in the LOTR movies .... He had beautiful manicured nails and dark brown curls on the first segments of his fingers....he also wore a nice sweater. Ah....the joys of riding the Big Blue Bus up to UCLA .
 
[COLOR=DarkRed] I have a passion for genealogy and family history. I have worked on my family story for over five years. Even as a small child I listened to all the old women talking around the kitchen table and I found it fascinating. These old women repeated stories and names "outside" history..in that these stories were the day to day comings and goings of people whose names and actions are mostly forgotten. Like Emma seeking refuge in a covered bridge to escape a wild animal...or Bertha riding a horse through deep snow to go to school...or someone feeding starving Indians who came begging (?)..... But , I remember. In 2000 I started to put all my collected data on line.

It is one of the traditional roles for gay/queer men to be the family rememberer. It's part of being in that "threshold" place which many queer people inhabit...a place neither this nor that........being in the threshold is the place between life and death..it is the place of magick and mediumship. I have met a lot of gay men on line who full fill this role. This role has been largely devalued or eliminated in the hard ball industrial society of inter changeable people and parts. For myself this family history "thing" takes on a mystical aspect. (I guess I am not alone here.. the LDS has made genealogy a part of their religion.).... Some times it can be pretty spooky....I was searching a lost family of mine which had proved very illusive..something genealogical hobbyists call a "brick wall " ... One night as I was sitting at my keyboard trying to find this "lost " family. I felt a thickening cloud around me and I felt "my people" ...and I indeed made a very significant find....I knew they wanted to be found.....now this forgotten family is remembered again and living in cyber space.....since then I have located a lot of their cemetery data and want to visit when I go back east. Yesterday..a similar event happened....and I felt an emotion I would call elation......As I entered their names in "my tree"...I felt a strong happy feeling come through. This family had no web presence (or other except census) (I had their names from a great great aunt's autograph book) ...and this mystical clouding presence happens mainly on my Mother's side of my tree...actually it never happens on my Dad's side...(?) [/COLOR]
My Diet: I lost about 3 more pounds.....I am at 162 lbs...equals 6 lbs in 5 weeks....I think I have the snacking under control.....my goal is to be at 155 lbs...that is my secret goal...If I tell the B/F he'll say it's too skinny...but at that weight ...lets just say ...I get it more.
 
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