bathhouse fantasy, act on it or leave it be?

[TheDream]

So for a while now I've fantasized about going to a bathhouse and getting off with other guys as you generally do in such a place. Recently though, I can feel it becoming more than a fantasy and more of an urge to just go and fuck/suck/jerk, etc. The thing is you hear the horror stories of guys picking up all kinds of unwanted illnesses and this is what is preventing me from going, I don't want to end up with an sti, std or worse. How do you calculate the risk and learn to accept it? My cock wants me to have the experience and my head is fighting it. The thing is if I went to a bathhouse I know I wouldn't do anything without a condom so i'd be safe as can be I just can't decide which way to go. Do I give in to fantasy and do something I really want to do and run the risk or be sensible and possibly regret not doing this for a long time to come? Help!

 

[castoono]

I get your point. I've been there myself. I think that you state the rules around you, you can do what you need without having to do anything you exactly want to. If you leave it be, it will grow on you worse imo.
Also sometimes in bathhouses, saunas and showers, there's a lot of petting, rubbing, touching that can do very well without feeling yourself forced to risk to get anything unwanted.

 

[bike10]

The bathhouse is one place one find enjoyment in a private setting. They are for not just gays but baths welcome all guys. You enjoy pleasures of your self or with others.

 

[medic1]

What i do is follow the same code that i follow if i am out clubbing or in a bar
or even if i thought of going cruising.
As you say always use a condom but the best advice i can offer is follow your
instincts normaly if something does not feel right to you then there is a good
chance that you are right.
Also i think that a lot of the horror stories that we all hear about hark back
to the awful 1st weeks and months of AIDS and how to try and curb what
was then thought of as a purely gay mans disease a lot of bathhouses were
shut down under public health laws especially in the states.
Nowadays public health laws and frequent inspections usually ensure that
bathhouses or saunas are maintained to a fairly high standard.
Almost all provide free condoms and lube and the staff are better trained.
I agree with the previous poster if you leave it to fester in your mind then i
think that most of your time will be taken up with the old what if question.
If it was me i would go but always keep in your mind that you are in control
if you dont want to do something say so also a lot of guys go who normaly
just like watching it is up to you what level you want to take it to.
I hope if you do decide to go you have a great and safe time.

 

[Greenherbz]

ehh in my opinion, this is one of those things that is better left off in your imagination. If it was me I'd leave the place feeling guilty and dirty, but everyone has their own beliefs and morals, so thats just me. I get paranoid if I have any sort of sex w/ someone that I don't know too well. After a particular time I promised myself I wouldn't hook up with random people anymore because in the end its never as satisfying as your mind makes you think it will be and I'm always left worrying for weeks/months of weather they could've had an STD or not. For me personally, it wouldn't feel responsible or right

 

[paatreides]

It can be totally safe... You'll find lots of str8, married, and bi guys (like yourself) who are there because they want to be with other men. A lot of it can be just jacking off or mutual jacking off... Most guys follow the rules of etiquette about touching or being touched. It's up to the individual. A polite "no thanks" is usually all that's needed.

As medic1 says, most bathhouses supply condoms - and you'd be smart to use them if you go. Also, always keep a towel under your ass - - to protect yourself from staph.

Enjoy yourself though. There's nothing worse than going through life wondering "why didn't I..."

 

[TNniceguy]

You know, if you are curious about what the bathhouse experience is like, visit one. You don't have to do anything with anyone. At least you have satisfied your desire to go and can judge your comfort level accordingly. I'm not ashamed to say that I've been to one. It would have taken a stick of dynamite to blast my towel off me. I've since visited a couple of times. People have always been respectful of me and didn't try to force me to do anything. Like Paatreids said, you can have fun with just getting off alone or mutual or not at all. Be safe, be respectful and you will get a feel if it is something you are comfortable with.

 

[TheDream]

I think that I'm going to visit one and the first time just keep myself to myself, have a look around watch something interesting if something interesting is happening, lol, and just get a general feel for the surroundings. Like most of you have pointed out, you don't have to do anything once you are in there. I guess this is the way to go, really. Pay a visit, see how I like it and take it from there, gradually building my confidence and comfort level.

 

[smoothoralbottom]

ehh in my opinion, this is one of those things that is better left off in your imagination. If it was me I'd leave the place feeling guilty and dirty, but everyone has their own beliefs and morals, so thats just me. I get paranoid if I have any sort of sex w/ someone that I don't know too well. After a particular time I promised myself I wouldn't hook up with random people anymore because in the end its never as satisfying as your mind makes you think it will be and I'm always left worrying for weeks/months of weather they could've had an STD or not. For me personally, it wouldn't feel responsible or right

I have to agree with this one here. I had a really intense fantasy that I felt I had to act upon. I met a married guy online who frequented the local bathhouse. I have a serious fantasy of "performing" while being watched. Something to the effect of me in the center of a bukkake. I finally bit the bullet and went to meet him there at 2am. For one, I didn't really care for the look of him. I felt more gross than turned on about being there. Then, about five loud, flamboyant, flaming guys all walked in at the same time and I totally felt out of place. So I left the guy hanging (so to speak) and never went back. I think if you encounter your fantasy and it's not what you expect then you leave it where it is and find a new fantasy. Or at least maybe just masturbate to the thought of what you wanted it to be.