Bathroom Cruiser

[confessions222]

This is something I need to get off my chest

I like to go to bathrooms that I know are cruisey spots. Not because I want to hook up with anyone, but because the atmosphere turns me on and I want to see some cock.

When I do get to see a cock, I don't want to touch it at all, and don't want to do anything with the guy. The most I want out of an encounter is to see the guy's dick, or see him cum. I don't want him to see my dick or see me cum.

I'm in a relationship with a guy. He doesn't know I do this obviously. I don't want him to either. We don't get to see each other that often, (maybe once a week, if that) and when we do, he's all I can think about. I do love him, he's my everything.

Thats why I want to stop.

Doing this is making me unhappy, and I'm not sure I can stop. It makes me feel like a bad person and I don't want to be that. I want to be the best man I can be for my boyfriend. I want to stop so badly, but it's very difficult.

Please some advice or help? thoughts? anything. I need to discuss this. Maybe It'll help.

 

[Just_Believe18]

This sounds like a fetish you are having a difficult time letting go. There is a lot of porn out there that can compensate for this. Do you feel you can be satisfied if you just watch the videos rather than having to see it in person? This is also a kind of fetish that requires a lot of willpower to accomplish. I believe you can find the self-control to avoid getting into a car and driving yourself to a particular public restroom at a certain time to experience this behavior. Just shut yourself off from it and jerk off more until you see your boyfriend once a week.

 

[confessions222]

I'm not sure if I can be satisfied by the video clips. I've tried to just stop but like I said, its very difficult. I'll be good for a while and then just go back to it.

it makes me feel like I'm cheating, and like a bad boyfriend, but while I'm doing it I don't really think about these things. And If I do it's not enough to make me stop.

I just need better will power I guess. Do you consider it cheating?

 

[rareboy]

This sounds like a fetish you are having a difficult time letting go. There is a lot of porn out there that can compensate for this. Do you feel you can be satisfied if you just watch the videos rather than having to see it in person? This is also a kind of fetish that requires a lot of willpower to accomplish. I believe you can find the self-control to avoid getting into a car and driving yourself to a particular public restroom at a certain time to experience this behavior. Just shut yourself off from it and jerk off more until you see your boyfriend once a week.

I'd explore this.

If it is the live experience that you crave, I would talk to your bf about it. Seriously. As one of your kinks.

If it is too controlling, you need to sit down with a good sex therapist/psychologist.

 

[confessions222]

I appreciate the replys. I think that it's something I need to work on, but I'm confident I can control it as well.

talking about it here, and sharing something that I haven't really said out loud may help me.

any and all opinions will help.

 

[Seasoned]

Explore the possibility that this is an addiction. Sexual Complusives Anonymous (SCA) can help. SCA - Sexual Compulsives Anonymous

 

[TX-Beau]

Couple of standard questions, how old are you, and are you out?

If all you want to do is watch, sounds like a voyeurism fetish. Which isn't very out there on the fetish scale - so long as you're watching guys who want to be watched.

Why can't you discuss your fetish with your BF? You don't have to go into behavior, you can talk about in general terms.

Are you ashamed of this? It's not uncommon and not really out there or shocking. Why do you feel badly about it? Would you feel badly about it if you weren't in a relationship?

Is feeling like it's illicit part of the thrill?

 

[sixthson]

Perhaps you should consider making yourself accountable to someone. When you feel the urge to visit such places, call this person, much like Alcholics Anonymous. Ideally, that person should be your bf, but if you can't bring yourself to tell him, find someone else you can trust.

 

[Shepherd 2]

Seasoned is right. It does sound to me, and this is not conclusive, that you are fighting against an addiction. SCA is a good place to turn. If it is a paraphilia, it may not respond to treatment, but at least you may be able to turn your life around with a little help from others. I wish you well.
Shep+

 

[confessions222]

I'm 22, I am out to friends but not to my family.

I am only watching guys who want to be watched. I think that the thrill comes from the illicetness also the publicness.

My boyfriend and me are very open about our fetishes, its just the behavior I'm embarrassed about not the fetish per say. I think its a matter of channeling this urge into a more acceptable (on my own scale) outlet.

I might feel badly if I wasn't in a relationship, but I think most of the bad feeling stems from the fact that I am in a relationship and my boyfriend should be the only person I'm actively seeking to see exposed (again my own feelings).

That being said, I do like to look at porn, and my boyfreind and I share porn together.

I think it's an addiction...but like I said, talking about, even just briefly now, has changed how I feel a little. It's just nice to say it outloud.

Thanks a lot for your help you guys.

Couple of standard questions, how old are you, and are you out?

If all you want to do is watch, sounds like a voyeurism fetish. Which isn't very out there on the fetish scale - so long as you're watching guys who want to be watched.

Why can't you discuss your fetish with your BF? You don't have to go into behavior, you can talk about in general terms.

Are you ashamed of this? It's not uncommon and not really out there or shocking. Why do you feel badly about it? Would you feel badly about it if you weren't in a relationship?

Is feeling like it's illicit part of the thrill?

 

[confessions222]

I'm 22, and I am out. To friends, but not to family.

I do only watch guys who like to be watched.

I do discuss fetishes with my boyfriend, and its not like we haven't hooked up in public places together such as the woods, parks etc. Of course we're discreet, but we have. We share our fetishes.

It's not the fetish I'm embarrassed about, its the behavior. I think that the shame comes from the fact that I'm in a relationship, and it's my feeling that he should be the only one I'm exploring my fetishes with.

I think feeling like it's illicit part of the thrill.

It is an addiction, but I think just talking about it, saying it out loud, and seeing it in print, has helped me already. It's a matter of me getting myself in check and channeling this urge toward my boyfriend and not toward myself and random encounters.

I really thank you guys for your help and responses. I've been a JUB follower for a long time, and you guys are always so nice and helpful. Thanks for being a community I know I can turn too.

 

[Taralen]

Just as long as this doesn't become a hobby and you limit the amount of times you do this. Then it's perfectly fine. But beware, cops will not be as sympathetic as we are and arrest you. Try to do it less often.

 

[bananagoof]

It's good to hear you guys are open about your kinks. Were you doing this before you were in a relationship? Then it probably has nothing to do with him, if that makes you feel any better. And wanting to stop to be a "good boyfriend" probably won't work. The things people stop doing and stick to happen because they've worked through it themselves. The behaviour still gets you off in some way. Until it becomes unappealing or ceases to be sexy, you'll still be drawn to it, I think.

Check out a SCA over the phone and ask somebody about what kinds of counselling there might be, or a support network. It'll be an embarrassing call, but I think it could give you something more concrete to work from than "I want to stop, I'll try doing it on my own."