"becoming gay" or realizing youre gay later in life

[Lube]

I had a deep and intimate (and yes, sexual) relationship with a man, but I consider myself straight. I have no desire to have sex with another man, nor do i see this even having the possibility of happening again.

Remind us, then, why you're on a gay porn site?

I am much older than most of you, but when I was growing up there was great pressure to be a "regular guy" and that meant we were conditioned to accept marriage as something that would come to us down the road.

In my life, however, I bonded in friendship with the new guy in town at at age 15 we found that "doing what came naturally'" led to a two year homosexual relationship. The sex was great and confirmed the love we had for each other. We never did think of ourselves as being gay

Faithfulness in a partnership is vital to me. When I met the person I was eager and willing to spend the rest of my life with I made the choice and I have not turned back.

I do not deny that I miss that intimacy with a man

I see a lot of conflict here, a lot of denial.

Very few gay men would say "I made the choice" to be gay.

And there are certainly plenty of faithful, monogamous gay relationships (and, mind you, plenty that aren't!).

 

[Shepherd 2]

People who use people are the sorriest people I know. Men are sometimes users of other people. Therefore I tell you with all my heart, I believe today, that I have always been gay. My life journey made it difficult for me to arrive at that realization. I was abused by a pedophile (a trusted cousin until his abuse) and those four long years left my life a tattered and difficult journey. His death several years ago opened the way for me to come to peace about that, and that was not well done until I arrived at JUB three years ago at age 67 and wrote my several blogs.

Until age 43 or 44, I was convinced I was a heterosexual man. I had only dated women, and was married to one for almost twenty-five years. Together we have three children and now three grandchildren. At forty-five, a good friend who saw me struggling after a terrible divorce, asked me out to dinner. About three months into our social relationship, we talked about sexual orientation. He told me he was gay. I really had not thought much about it, for I was convinced that I might be an asexual man who could live without sex.

After we began to court one another, kissing, cuddling and other casual social activity, I began to realize I had deep sexual feelings that I had long ago repressed. When we partnered, only after seven months, we finally made love to each other. Our sexual lives together continue now for about twenty-five years and it deepens year by year. I could not tolerate the thought of being topped until two years ago this month. Now I do it routinely, although I still am at times reluctant.

For some of us the journey is quite different from that of others. I cannot change my journey, but I can learn and hopefully grow and also heal from past wounding. And I hope my rambling response here is some help to others who may read this thread. I identify closely with the wiz.

There is more, so I invite you to read some of my blogs, and be forewarned some are rather long. I hope you find the assurances and knowledge you desire and seem to need,

Shep+