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Being gay is a choice

RyanE23

RyanE23

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Since I've come out to more people, a lot of them have mentioned that it is my "choice" to Ive this lifestyle. When in fact, I don't feel like it is. It just feels like me. I am finally allowing myself to be open to my feelings about how I like. The only real choice I've made is who to tell. And I think, it its own way, gives me a sense of power. I don't have to come out to every single person that I know, unless I want to.
 
Congratulations! Feeling that self-empowerment is awesome, and sets you up to truly take ownership of who you are and be yourself!

I've had many people tell me I'm "choosing" this lifestyle as well. I ask them why I would "choose" to give up rights, give up the ability to marry, and "choose" to be segregated from family and friends. They usually begin to see it that the Choice argument is kind of foolish.

Best of luck to you, and congratulations!
 
We also choose the color of our eyes, color of our skin, size of our penis etc.

Let us also not forget that we live a life not a lifestyle. This always annoys me
to no end when I hear that.
 
When people say being gay is a choice is just showing their ignorance or in denial themselves. Rosie pointed out some good points, but there is also the science that shows that being gay is biological.
 
I'm sorry but you just can't choose sexual attraction. Some men like fat girls, some like skinny girls, and some don't like girls at all. I have no idea why it's so difficult for people to understand.
 
It's a choice to act out on being gay I suppose.
 
I fought coming out up until my mid-20's. I was so butch that most refused to believe me at first. I was from a family of jocks/coaches and a gym rat myself. I fought my feelings for years, until drug and alcohol overdoses and failed suicide attempts forced me into therapy where I had a great and understanding doctor. I was always taking my fingers and tracing the muscles of Tarzan, Superman, and the "super-heroes" when I was just a small kid. If there had been a GI Joe doll, I would have wanted one.

In high school I would rather look at muscle mags than Playboy.
I had plenty of "wet dreams" and would be upset upon awakening that they mostly included guys. I dated girls heavily, "performed" sex with them, wanted a wife, kids, and family, but somehow felt I was missing something. I hated it when I would realize that I preferred being with guys over girls.

I know I did not choose to be gay....as I was always gay.
 
Fireballs said:
It's a choice to act out on being gay I suppose.
Click to expand...

While I do believe that there is something genetic behind homosexuality I want to point out I think we cripple ourselves by hiding behind the "its not our choice" response to religion's telling us we will go to hell.

If it is my damn choice then its none of their business what makes me happy
 
You know what amuses me? The fact that no one ever asks a straight person, "Did you choose to be straight?"

No one ever wakes up one morning and says, "You know, today, I'm going to choose to be straight."

What's even more amazing is that in my college genetics class last year, my professor showed scientific evidence for a biological basis for sexuality--and I go to a very all-American college!!! Most of the class was stunned... hehe.
 
How about the idea that virgin's can't clame that their gay because they are unsure due to their lack of experience??
 
It's frustrating when you think you're coming out to a straight person and they speak of lifestyle as if they are living on the Planet of the Apes with two sperarate species. This great fear of LGBT would be laughable if it weren't so hurtful.

But I think a new day is upon us in the US. Once we have out gay patriots we will all be in a better place. With the removal of DADT the government is saying it's ok to be gay. All other rights will flow from this action.

But each gay child comes to the realization they are different from the majority and may face family and friends who reject one of their own.
 
Fireballs said:
It's a choice to act out on being gay I suppose.
Click to expand...

Of couse it's a choice to act out on being gay fireballs.. holy cow mate, don't you figure it's the same thing to act out on having sex with a girl?
Lordy man.. young men are usually all horny.. and some of those horned up young men are attracted to guys..

So are you trying to say that it's fine and good for a straight guy to act out on his attraction to a girl and it's not ok for a gay guy to act out sexually with another guy?
Makes no sense man.

It's a choice for guys to act out before marriage.. but guys cannot marry other guys.. and usually it's damned tough for guys to even date guys in highschool (where dating usually starts)..
So you can sit there with your beautiful girl friend and act out if you want to.. but you cannot accept the same thing for a guy to act out with a guy?

Yes, easy for someone to say that if they are straight well then it's fine for them to have pre-marital sex with a girl.. but if a guy does it.. well then he should hold his sexuality back...
Guys want sex man.. and if society allowed young gay guys to date other young gay guys, then allowed them get married to eachother.. well then things may be different..
But that is not how it is..
 
People who think that being a homo is a choice aren't even trying are they?

Maybe 50 or 100 years ago, before the nature of human physiology and chromosomal make-up were understood, one could maybe accept that ignorance of what determines sexual preference was more forgivable.

But now it is not.

I agree. When someone tells you that being a homo is a choice, ask them when they chose to be straight?
 
Scottyboi said:
While I do believe that there is something genetic behind homosexuality I want to point out I think we cripple ourselves by hiding behind the "its not our choice" response to religion's telling us we will go to hell.

If it is my damn choice then its none of their business what makes me happy
Click to expand...

The "it's not my fault" agrument almost seems to be saying sorry - and treating liking sex with people of the same gender as some sort of disability (like being in a wheelchair).

I happen to be BI - if it was my choice - it's a real good one - and one I'd definitely chose to make anyway.
 
Oh, no need to get your panties in a knot. Just saying some people choose not to act out on being gay that's all. It really just boils down to your morals and beliefs.
 
Fortunately, I don't know anybody who ever thought that way, and all of my friends are straight.

Sexuality is not a choice. It's who you are.

This comes out of ignorance and not knowing, so here's your chance to educate people.

Ask them if they ever chose to be "straight".
 
Something I've always said to people when they've told me being gay is a choice is this:

You cannot choose who you fall in love with.
 
I must have decided at an early age because I don't recall ever not being gay. It was a long time before I realized what gay was, but in that instant I knew that it was who I am. My partner was seventeen when he came out to himself, and to others. He says it was like having slowly exhaled for years and "coming out" was finally breathing in.
 
^^ That's what it felt like when I came out to myself. Like there was all this pent-up stuff inside me and it was great to let it all out.
 
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