Being gay vs. being a lesbian:

[jubjub]

I was at work last night (I'm a waiter at a restaurant) and overheard one of my tables talking about being gay versus being a lesbian. Basically what the consensus between the two of them was that it is much easier for them to accept a friend who is a lesbian, than for them to accept a guy friend who is gay.

Honestly speaking, I think this generalization runs true for much of our society. Take for example entertainment, notice how it is so much easier for people to put in, watch, and accept lesbian scenes than gay scenes?

Why is this?

 

[Nonimus]

Because two women make their dicks go hard, while two men threaten their macho image.

 

[jubjub]

Because two women make their dicks go hard, while two men threaten their macho image.

Of course you're speaking from the male's perspective. What what of the women's? I should inform you that the two people at my table were both female.

 

[eddielee]

Lesbians are more acceptable to heterosexual men because they are turned on by two woman getting it on.

 

[1st love ron]

The lesbians had better be pretty because straight men have disgust with bull dyke lesbians.

 

[davy]

a guess:

we're in a male-dominated society.

being gay is still perceived as wrong to some degree, therefore reduces the person in stature

people have the biological imperative to "put things in its place" and if a thing doesn't fit in its place, it makes us think that it's wrong somehow. (ie social dominance theory http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_Dominance_Orientation#Social_dominance_theory)

therefore, if men in a male-dominated society relinquish their position, thus not fitting into place, then it strikes many as wrong.

like i said, a guess.

 

[Brijan]

You can find some of my thoughts on that here.

 

[tallguy297]

Yeah men still control the world. They're the important ones who make all the big decisions...or at least they like to think so....

I think men still feel threated by gay guys generally...I think its the fear that if they are the subject of any sort of gay desires or fantasies that they must be giving off signals in the first place....it hits at self image really. So they openly make statements to prove their manliness.

I guess I can understand it. If it feels stupid for us to hit on a str8 guy imagine how it must feel for him...

Funny how most of em change when they meet one of us as mates or we come out to them. That whole bs routine normally disappears real quick....

 

[doctorsun]

Men like it because they think all lesbians are the "lesbians" from the porn they watch.

Women like it because they feel comfortable with other women. Intimacy between two women doesn't threaten them.

As gay men, we'll always get the short end of the stick, unfortunately.

 

[luminum]

Being a bit less cynical, I'd say that it's because of what society interprets as the range of the gender behavior. Two women getting it on with each other is within the accepted realm of femininity. Liking another guy, however, is outside of the accepted realm of masculinity. Therefore, because it's deamed un-masculine, generalized guys ins ociety have a harder time accepting what they perceive to be anti-masculine and accept what they perceive to be properly feminine.

On another level, guys have an easier time udnerstanding why a girl would be into a girl because they know what it's like to be into girls. But straight guys believe they should be repulsed by the thought of being able to measure attractivity of another man, so they could never understand or fathom being attracted to another guy. Therefore, they can't accept it.

It's all bullshit.

 

[gmoney]

Lesbians are more acceptable to heterosexual men because they are turned on by two woman getting it on.

I don't see that at all. When I had a job in service, I was treated more harshly by lesbians than anyone else. They had no idea I was gay, but I couldn't make a sale with them near as easy as I could with straight guys or gay guys.

I may be way off base, but all of the lesbians I've met seem to be bitter with the male in general and even more so with straight males.

As for acceptance, I don't see either sex being gay having an advantage over the other one.

 

[Zeremonie]

Lots of interesting and good points in this thread. I think that on a subconscious level the stereotype exists of women being much more sentimental and emotional than men. Because women are these softer and more emotionally driven beings, I think somehow it seems more understandable that they will fall in love with either gender or the same gender - they're supposedly more programmed for love.

I also think that traditionally the idea of two women co-habitating together was far less strange than the idea of two men. Men went off and settled the west coast and women raised children and stayed behind - it was perfectly acceptable for two women to be teamed up raising kids. Men could never do this easily. Somehow then it is now not a long leap to see two women in a relationship together.

Those are just my own abstract thoughts on the matter, but I also think that many of the points already made in this thread weigh heavily on the issue - the fact that (straight) men are turned on by two men, and somehow gay men are seen as more threatening ...

 

[blackbeltninja]

The lesbians had better be pretty because straight men have disgust with bull dyke lesbians.

Never a truer word spoken.

-d-