Being in love with a straight guy is one of the worst things ever.

[Tripper]

I just met this guy like four months ago, and I'm already in love with him. He's just such a cute, fun guy. Only problem is, he's straight. And it just sucks. Knowing that I can never have anything with him other than a friendship. He's very affectionate with his friends, so sometimes he rests his head on my shoulder and I just wanna hug him and kiss him or something. I keep thinking "Maybe he is gay. He does act a little gay sometimes.", but I know it's just wishful thinking. When he starts talking about his girlfriend, you can tell he's straight.

And another problem is, I'm still in the closet, pretending to just be his straight friend. I don't think he would care if I came out, but I'm just worried he might not be as affectionate, since he'd think I'd wanna get into his pants or something. Which I do, but that's besides the point. I know I'll get over him eventually, but for the meantime, it just really, really sucks. Sorry for rambling, but I just needed to get this off my chest. Now I'm sad.

 

[doctorsun]

The biggest problem with being homosexual is that you're attracted to EVERYONE of the same sex, not just the ones who are also homosexual. We've all been there. There's no advice we can give you that hasn't been given a thousand times before. There's not much you can do other than hope you can get over it. Whatever you do, DO NOT pursue anything with him. If you do, not only will you not have a boyfriend, but you also won't have a friend. Enjoy the friendship for what it is and appreciate having it.

 

[staringproblem]

I seem to have the problem with straight girls falling in love and being obsessed with me! That, in my opinion, is one of the worst things ever.

 

[Tripper]

I don't think I'm gonna do anything, because I'm too afraid to. I'm pretty sure he's straight, so I don't wanna scare him away. And I don't want him to know I'm gay, at least not yet. I think I just have a problem or something. I always fall in love with straight guys, never gay ones. I get over them, but it's usually because I lose touch with them. But this guy, I met him this year when I started college. I'm going to spend the next 4 years of my life with him. It's going to be freakin' hard. And he's just...everything I'd want in a guy. If only I could find a gay version of him...

 

[valis23]

He does act a little gay sometimes(

Unless by that you mean he's known to suck dick once in a while, I'd suggest you be sparing with that assumption. Transferrence of internal desires onto someone else's actions can get you in real trouble.

For what it's worth, I'm with Yummers. Looking back, there are several chances I should have taken, had I known then what I know now.

If you want a chance at a deep, meaningful, lasting friendship -and maybe more- I'd come out to him. If you hide yourself from him, the friendship won't survive. If you let him in to the whole you, you could lose the friendship or it could turn into something more than you can imagine. If you come out to him and he balks, you haven't lost much and you've saved a lot of time.

 

[Tripper]

Unless by that you mean he's known to suck dick once in a while, I'd suggest you be sparing with that assumption. Transferrence of internal desires onto someone else's actions can get you in real trouble.

For what it's worth, I'm with Yummers. Looking back, there are several chances I should have taken, had I known then what I know now.

If you want a chance at a deep, meaningful, lasting friendship -and maybe more- I'd come out to him. If you hide yourself from him, the friendship won't survive. If you let him in to the whole you, you could lose the friendship or it could turn into something more than you can imagine. If you come out to him and he balks, you haven't lost much and you've saved a lot of time.

I know, I know, by thinking that he acts gay I'm basically tricking myself into believing that he's gay. I just can't help it. It's like my brain can't comprehend that he's straight and just keeps making up excuses.

And I'm just too scared to come out to him. He's said before how he finds homosexuality gross and everything, like most straight guys do. I just don't want him to back away. I lost a lot of friends when I was younger, so I now I try to keep the ones I have as long as I can. I don't know, I'll probably come out to him eventually. But for now, I'm just too scared.

 

[Andreus]

you could tell him you are attracted to him

its what i would do

 

[valis23]

I've found a lot of straights that object to homosexuality do so out of ignorance. Once they realize that they have a friend who's gay, and the issue suddenly gains a human face, they change their minds. They gain compassion because they're not objecting to "that thing over there that doesn't affect me". Suddenly they understand that they're casting votes against their friends; they're slamming people they care about. That's why coming out is important for society as a whole, and not just for you as a person.

More importantly than all that, though, is the idea that you're doing everything you can to hide yourself so people will like you. How can that possibly make you happy long term?

I know it's scary, but it's a risk worth taking. Consider telling just him. Let him know that you want him to know because it's important to be honest with him. Then explain that you're not generally "out" and ask him to keep it to himself. If he's half a human being, he'll respect your request even if it affects your friendship negatively. Open honesty is a much healthier basis for a friendship than years of lying.

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

no no no

my best freind is straight

me love him

did i mention he's greek and we went to sparta last year

greek boys are so hot...........but he like girls

 

[relaxin13]

And he's just...everything I'd want in a guy. If only I could find a gay version of him...

Yeah I have had that same thing running through my head for years now about the first friend I came out to. I told him recently how I felt and regret doing so just a little bit...

 

[Ninja108]

It's tough.. but it's life.. There is a guy out there who has the same qualities that attracted uou to this guy.. but he will be gay..

 

[AaronG]

I could have written every word of your post. Affectionate straight friend, totally not gay but gives your imagination just enough room to hope, doesn't like gays, etc. Kinda startling how much I identified.

When you're ready, he might be a candidate for your first coming-out conversation. It's a risk, but there's a lot to be gained. It may even be just the thing to make him more openminded, too.

 

[ahotjock71]

If only I could find a gay version of him...

But you can't and you won't. Don't set yourself up for failure in gay relationships before you even start by idealizing this guy.

Grab yourself by the balls, get over him, just be his friend and move on.

 

[Tripper]

Thanks for all the advice, guys. I know there's not an easy solution for this, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one having this problem. I'll see if I can get some courage to come out to him soon. Maybe that'll make things at least a bit better.

Well, good luck to all of you going through this. Hopefully we'll get over our straight guys, or even better, they'll turn out to be gay too. Thanks again.

 

[angedelune]

When I first moved away from home, and I lived on my own, I worked as a server. Now everyone who has ever waited tables knows that the food and beverage crowd in a city ALL know each other. Therefore, I had a VAST and wide-ranging circle of friends. That also ment I got to meet a lot of "straight" boys who wanted to "try" it. Me, being the naive thing that I was, I would take them home, we'd play naked twister for a few weeks, then i'd show a little affection beyond having them pick lint off my carpet, and they would bolt.

This happened more times than you can imagine. THere is one guy in particular that I will never forget, he still calls me to this day just to see how I am sometimes. He was tall like me, long blonde hair, cute little goatee, awesome body, BIG DICK, he was almost as big as me, and the cutest little boy named sebastian. I fell for this guy, HARD, and in the end I got crushed. So take my advice, if you want to avoid the frustration, find you a nice normal, already out gay guy with 1). a car, 2). a future that does not involve retail, and 3). likes to play nerdy online games.

 

[RationalLunacy]

Imagine how embarrassed I felt when I asked my best friend if I could kiss him and he told me he's only into sheep!

 

[Endlight]

RL you make my day, every day!

 

[Danugh]

If you 2 are as close as you claim. You can try wearing him down.

Ask him if you can perform intimate acts on him. More than likely he will tell you no at first. But if you are persistent enough he will eventually give in.

In future try not to fall inlove with straights. Just bag them and sex them. Catch and Release.

 

[Tripper]

In future try not to fall inlove with straights. Just bag them and sex them. Catch and Release.

Yeah, well, I wish it was that easy. It's not like I can choose who I fall in love with. That'd make my life a whole lot easier and I wouldn't even be having this problem.

 

[Swellegant]

Actually, that's a myth: there is something worse than falling in love with a straight guy.

Try falling in love with a gay guy who's not into you. He wants to be your friend, and he likes you and all, but he doesn't want to fuck you or kiss you or anything like that. He wants to do so with other guys, just not you.

At least with a straight guy, you can blame his lack of interest in you on the fact that you're not a girl. With a gay guy, the only thing you can blame is your lack of hotness. And that, my friend, sucks.

But you know, that's the nature of the beast. You can paddle around in the shallow end and experience small pains and small pleasures, or you can get out into the ocean and experience everything to the nth degree. You can sit around falling in love with straight guys the rest of your life, which isn't as painful as it is irritating, and never give yourself a chance to fall in love for real; or you can get out there and meet some gay guys who may or may not want you... the rejection is more painful, the the acceptance is sweet.