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Being Used.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Kadratis
  • Start date Start date
K

Kadratis

Guest
About two weeks ago, a gay "pornstar" (I'm not sure whether to believe it or not, still) added me as a friend on XTube, who claimed to have found my little biography on the site interesting, named Dalton S. So we talked for about an hour on Yahoo!, and then I finally asked for his number. And he gave it to me. I nearly fainted. Not only was this guy interesting, he was frigging hot too (mind you, I'm usually not one who falls for people for their looks... !oops!)

So we talked on the phone quite a bit, prolly about five hours every night. Then, just last Sunday, he asked me playfully if I could come pick him up in Springfield, IL from where I live, in Dayton, OH and take him to Cleveland. I don't know why, I guess because I was looking for love in all the wrong places, I decided I would. The trip was torturous. Not only did I spend almost all my money (currently unemployed :( *sob sob*) on gas, but I also got my first speeding ticket.

So I picked him up, and I'm surprised I nearly didn't die. I mean, his pictures didn't do him justice. On our drive up to Cleveland, he kept giving me these teasing looks. If I had the opportunity to lose my virginity during that trip, I would have done it in heartbeat, but I'm so glad I didn't. When we finally got to Cleveland, he introduced me to his other modeling friends. It was kinda odd though... a house full of gay porn stars all living under one roof. Felt more like a brothel, really. Anyway, after I was told I couldn't spend the night, I left. It's kinda sad, though. Usually, because I suffer from bi-polar, I'm always down, but when I met Dalton, I was actually up. That's never happened to me. I became a completely different person.

Anywho, I ended up having to pull over at a rest stop outside of Cleveland and sleep for the night (so uncomfortable, btw). When I got home, I wrote a blog about my whole trip and how I was completely different person because of him. When he found out I wrote it, he (and his other models) totally flipped out on me. It was starting on that night, I started crying myself to sleep. Seemed I was wrong about him.

The next day, I got a text message. He needed money! How could a pornostar with $300 sun glasses need money?! He wanted $100 to pay for rent, and I almost gave it to him so I could make up for the blog entry. But I didn't. The other half of me stopped myself, because I came to the realization I was being used. I so badly wanted to though, since I was a different person because of him, and I loved him. Having so many connections with a person like that was incredibly hard to resist. I told him to leave me alone, and I removed him from all methods of contacting me.

Heartbreak isn't something I've faced yet, considering I've never really had a boyfriend. I cried myself asleep for the entire week, last week, but I'm feeling a little better now. But it still bothers me...

Now I just wanna know, what would you have done in this kind of situation? Given him the money, told him to f*ck off, or something different?

Thanks guys, and much love. :kiss:
~ Kad
 
Kadratis said:
About two weeks ago, a gay "pornstar" (I'm not sure whether to believe it or not, still) added me as a friend on XTube, who claimed to have found my little biography on the site interesting, named Dalton S. So we talked for about an hour on Yahoo!, and then I finally asked for his number. And he gave it to me. I nearly fainted. Not only was this guy interesting, he was frigging hot too (mind you, I'm usually not one who falls for people for their looks... !oops!)

So we talked on the phone quite a bit, prolly about five hours every night. Then, just last Sunday, he asked me playfully if I could come pick him up in Springfield, IL from where I live, in Dayton, OH and take him to Cleveland. I don't know why, I guess because I was looking for love in all the wrong places, I decided I would. The trip was torturous. Not only did I spend almost all my money (currently unemployed :( *sob sob*) on gas, but I also got my first speeding ticket.

So I picked him up, and I'm surprised I nearly didn't die. I mean, his pictures didn't do him justice. On our drive up to Cleveland, he kept giving me these teasing looks. If I had the opportunity to lose my virginity during that trip, I would have done it in heartbeat, but I'm so glad I didn't. When we finally got to Cleveland, he introduced me to his other modeling friends. It was kinda odd though... a house full of gay porn stars all living under one roof. Felt more like a brothel, really. Anyway, after I was told I couldn't spend the night, I left. It's kinda sad, though. Usually, because I suffer from bi-polar, I'm always down, but when I met Dalton, I was actually up. That's never happened to me. I became a completely different person.

Anywho, I ended up having to pull over at a rest stop outside of Cleveland and sleep for the night (so uncomfortable, btw). When I got home, I wrote a blog about my whole trip and how I was completely different person because of him. When he found out I wrote it, he (and his other models) totally flipped out on me. It was starting on that night, I started crying myself to sleep. Seemed I was wrong about him.

The next day, I got a text message. He needed money! How could a pornostar with $300 sun glasses need money?! He wanted $100 to pay for rent, and I almost gave it to him so I could make up for the blog entry. But I didn't. The other half of me stopped myself, because I came to the realization I was being used. I so badly wanted to though, since I was a different person because of him, and I loved him. Having so many connections with a person like that was incredibly hard to resist. I told him to leave me alone, and I removed him from all methods of contacting me.

Heartbreak isn't something I've faced yet, considering I've never really had a boyfriend. I cried myself asleep for the entire week, last week, but I'm feeling a little better now. But it still bothers me...

Now I just wanna know, what would you have done in this kind of situation? Given him the money, told him to f*ck off, or something different?

Thanks guys, and much love. :kiss:
~ Kad
Click to expand...

An immediate red flag should have went up for you when he asked you for 100 bucks to pay his rent. He claims to be a porn star and hes wearing 300 dollar shades. There is something wrong with this picture. I think you did the right thing. Even though it had to be tough. Love or infatuation can sometimes be blind and dangerous. I think you handled it like a class act.:D
 
I agree with doglover - you handled the situation very well, and definitely did the right thing by not giving him the money. I have been in a situation where I was being used for money, and unfortunately I was stupid enough to keep giving the money over quite a long period of time. I should have known better, and maybe I did, but like you, I was looking for love in the wrong places and thought that it would pass. But the good thing from that situation is that I learnt the signs of possible being used and (I hope) will not let myself get into that situation again. Likewise for you - you will have learnt from this situation.

It hurts when your thought about someone are wrong, but eventually you'll meet someone who you're not wrong about and feels the same things for you.

Take care dude!
..|
 
The other posters are right. You absolutely did the right thing. Forget this guy. He's an ass and a user....no matter how hot he is. The fact that you went out of your way to chauffeur him around and he couldn't even offer you the sofa to sleep on is really tacky and selfish. Roommates or not, that is the LEAST he could have done. Then to add injury to insult by asking for $100 was the straw that broke the camel's back. This is a typical con artist. Had you given him the money, you likely would never hear from him again or he would see how much more he could scam out of you to pay for his $300 sunglasses. Move on and don't communicate with him anymore. You deserve far better than someone like him.
 
Awe, you guys are amazing. I love you all! :D Thanks so much!
 
i would of told him to F-off. he seems like a user and abuser, he is no good for you and will just keep asking if you keep giving out.
 
You did the right thing.
People can only use you if you let them.
Sometimes the best lessons are the hardest ones to learn.
Congrats to you !
 
Next time, Darlin, don't even give a guy a ride. You're lucky he was just a selfish, using prick, and not a killer. Besides, when you are unemployed and struggling yourself, don't invest so much into someone you don't know.

Good job on not giving the scum any money. Now just be more careful with the next one that comes along. (*8*)
 
Killjoke said:
Next time, Darlin, don't even give a guy a ride. You're lucky he was just a selfish, using prick, and not a killer. Besides, when you are unemployed and struggling yourself, don't invest so much into someone you don't know.

Good job on not giving the scum any money. Now just be more careful with the next one that comes along. (*8*)
Click to expand...

True that, I still can't believe you gave him a ride in the first place. Some people are too nice for their own good.
 
Kadratkis,
You were right, for you were being used.
Take care of the bi-polar stuff, and try
not to let yourself get into those kind
of situatioins. But do keep reaching out.
Love you, and I am glad you are here
at JUB.
Shep+
 
You did the right thing. don't associate with those anyone who calls themselves a "porn star." i once hooked up with a self described "porn star" (really he was like in 2 films) and while he was hot, the ugly cold personality was a huge turnoff

not to say there arent some cool people in porn but anyone who calls/acts like "porn star" is a red flag
 
Hi Kadratis am so glad your here and you did a very brave thing by opening yourself to this guy and puting your heart out there like that sometimes there are CON artists out there and they come in many different people and am not saying he was or he wasn't because I don't no him but am so glad you stopped when you did because he started asking you for stuff a trip and then money and so on

am glad you stopped when you did because its hard to even tell what might have happened if you would have continued he could have sucked you dry of all the money you had its happened I see it on the news all the time and am very proud of you for saying no :-)and am so glad you did not give your virginity up to this guy thank god for that because you would have been hurt even worse this is a very cruel world and a very happy world you just have to find the happy part and find the happiness you want in your life thats whats important you find yourself sweetheart and feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk about anything(*8*)
 
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