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Best Friend Breakup

utsasciguy

utsasciguy

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How do I recover?

Over a week ago, I got frustrated and said some things in anger that I would never have said otherwise. Now my best friend wont talk to me. Well he hasn't till last night.

He finally came to me to say, "Oh, I don't like other people in my room." WHAT!!! We've been friends for over a year. He is the kind of friend that I would die for, what I thought was my best friend. Now yes I know I did wrong but I didn't believe our friendship was this fragile.

Now I think I've gotten over most of the crying, and there was lots of it. I've gotten a second job since when I moved in, he let me stay without paying full rent, well now thats changed. Now I'm just a roommate, I woke up this morning to find he separated the fridge to a my side and his side. Now I'm more angry then anything. How can he do this, we've gone through so much together.

I feel like he is being a child about this, but I'm afraid to give him a piece of my mind since I then don't want to be left out on the street. I could always go home, but I don't want too. It would feel too much like a failure and too much has gone on for me to then add the failure of not being able to have an apartment.

So I guess I have resolved to somehow go on with my life without him, but how is the hard part. It was pure fluke that I met him, and he has taken me, this once and sometimes still is a geeky kid and turned me into someone who knows how to dance and party.

So what can I do now?
 
What can you do?

Tell him, basically, what you said above, especially that you thought your friendship was less fragile than that. Talk out whatever the problem was. Agree to disagree if you have to.

Based on what you said, and implied, he seems to be over-reacting and in somewhat a childish way (like, moving food to one side of the refrigerator. Is he in 8th grade?). His level of maturity may dictate how far you can reason with him or reach him on a more adult level.

Is he straight? Gay? Unknown? Does he know about you? The reason I ask is that I get the sense that you have/had feelings for him other than "brotherly love" of a "best friend." Is that emotion mixed in with all of this?

If so, you need to separate out the real issue from the emotion. Mixing the two up will be a roller coaster for you.

Good luck. Let us know what happens.
 
Hmmm, did you bother to apologize at all? Or did you just expect him to forgive you without apologizing?
 
If you started this and said what you said, the you had to tell him your sorry and really show you mean it. This might not get better, something has him wound up. You dont say if you out,bi/gay/ is he,was he, have you done anything together, did you do anything to him he did not like.

Maybe he just figured out he wants to live by him self, or he did not know about you and his is freak out. Who knows.

You may want to rethink and put some space between you and or find another place.

but start by be sorry for what ever you said to him, must have been bad to freak him out at you like this.

You may not like his answer but at least you will know.


sometimes you can be the best of friends, but living together is alot different.
 
We are both gay, and yea ok when I first met him yea I was attracted to him but that was over a year ago. Now if I think about it, its too weird since we are too close, you know?

What happened was I was driving to drop him and his new boyfriend downtown. I don't like getting last minute instructions to turn here or get in that lane. Well thats how he gives his instructions and I got frustrated and said, "Get the fuck out of my car." He thought I was saying it to his boyfriend and I wasn't. It may have sounded like it but it was more about me just trying to release my frustrations. I know I totally messed up on that part and tried to apologize right there. He would have none of it and told me when rent was due and shut up till I dropped him off at work.

I left a note for his boyfriend saying I was sorry and when I came back home and talked to him, he was totally cool with it and understood, but my best friend just keep his distance from me.
 
Even the best of friends have small differences that create a huge rift. We never know our friends as we think. The best thing to do is apologise and express your feelings. I think he's being overly sensitive, but that's how he is.

Through personal experience, always being sincere and truthful in a friendship is necessary, but sometimes things just fall apart. Nothing lasts forever, so just live in the now and be the best you can each day.
 
Another way to look at it, is he is angry at you. People don't get mad at people they don't care about. They get mad at people they do care about. So that's actually a good sign. He's playing a bit passive / aggressive with you which sucks, but you need to force the issue to a head. Only once you begin an honest dialogue of your issues will you be able to fix them.
 
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