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Best friend going out with a married man

Just a thought - does his wife know???

I had an affair with a married man for several years and had the same kind of reaction from my friends.... until I pointed out that his wife knew and was okay about it - in fact we all used to go out together on a Saturday night!
 
agree with what many have already said. its your duty as a friend to tell your friend exactly what you think. that its unfair towards the wife and the children. that the married man is probably never going to leave his wife. that your friend is always going to be second best, and going to end up being dumped and blamed for destroying a family. tell him one time, and tell him in a clear and direct manner.

but then let it go. your friend is an adult who can make his own decisions and take responsibility for the consequences. if he wants to talk about his "relationship", just say something like "you know how i feel about this, i think its a very bad idea, always have. i dont want to further discuss this with you."
 
Chrisied--I know how you feel for your friend...you're embarrassed that he's dating someone who is committed to a woman in God's eyes and also has children. Also, You have to remember that will be his troubles when that man decides to just leave him alone. Your friend I am assuming-is an adult and is responsible for his own actions and with those actions--consequences play a huge part. He will learn his lesson. All you can do be his friend --if not just part ways with him and do you!
 
This is not just some casual friend, this is your best friend.
At some point in time, it would seem to me, you will be socializing with him and the husband. Friends tell friends the truth, so telling your friend what you think of his activities is the first thing you should do. Then, when you meet the so-called boyfriend, you tell him what you think of his actions. Honestly, you friend is a scumbag and his boyfriend is a scumbag. The wife would be better off without him and his poor children will suffer for having a character-less father. This is not the case of a man who made a mistake by cheating on his wife. This is a man who has a lifestyle of cheating. You can be sure that your friend is not his first and be sure to tell him that he won't be the last. Serial cheaters cheat on everyone.
While you are at it, remind your friend that when his boyfriend is spending time with him, he is robbing the man's children of a father. Unlike another poster who said the husband is the one doing wrong, I say your friend is anything but innocent. Stories like this always make me wonder how some people are able to sleep at night.

I say get involved by talking to your friend and his asswipe. Maybe your friend will even listen to your wise counsel. If not, one day, when the relationship falls apart (and it will) he will know you spoke the truth to him.
 
chrisied said:
My best gay friend is having a relationship with a married man. He has put in his facebook status that he is now in a relationship, so from that it must be quite serious. But the thing is this guy still lives with his wife and has two kids.
I am extremely mad that my friend is doing this to a family and until the married man has ended it with his wife and told her the truth, that my friend should not be seeing him. Am i wrong to think like that?
If i knew who this married man's wife was, I would without a doubt tell her whats going on. Do u think that is fair? What would u do? I know this is my friends discision to make, but it still makes me furious for what he is doing.
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There is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. Your friend is being an asshole, and needs to be called on it.


chrisied said:
that is what I think to. the only thing that is going to come out of this, is them both getting hurt. The married man will blame him for ruinning is life and my friend is going to be seen by everyone else as a homewrecker. Which he basically is. Of course i want to tell him this. But of course if i do, he will never want to hear from me again.
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I wouldn't be too concerned with what this user and bastard thinks. He isn't worth you time. If he's willing to happily destroy a family and hurt innocent children (which is what will happen when their family crumbles around them) for a little personal pleasure, what will he be willing to do to you? Confront him and walk away.
 
Moral issues aside, I think it's just plain tacky, and desperate, and pointless, for your friend to update his Facebook status as in a relationship in this particular case.
 
I was messing around with a married guy, on a semi-regular basis. Honestly, for the most part I never considered his wife in the whole thing. I wasn't in love with the guy, by any means, but he did have a certain power over me. I was never under the impression that we were in a relationship, but I never really considered just how much he was getting around. We played safely, most of the time, but things really hit me when he told me that his wife was expecting. So he was having sex with me, in addition to other guy, and probably girls(this guy was HOT), as well as obviously unprotected sex with his wife. Shame that it took me so long to finally get how wrong the situation was, but I did end up breaking things off.

Never had confirmation, but I'm fairly certain his wife knew atleast about me. He told me that she'd come across some telling pics of me(NOT my face) but that he'd explained them away. We'd actually met a couple times, and I think most people can figure it out pretty quickly that I like dick, so I'd imagine it wouldn't be too hard for her to put things together. Also I used to wonder if she noticed some of her lingerie was stretched out, as for some reason, he thought I'd like him dressed up in that stuff:confused:

According to him, she hadn't exactly stuck to her vows either, and NO, I'm not excusing anything. I know it was both selfish, and quite foolish of me to be in such a risky situation, but I kinda let my little head do the thinking for me back then.
 
Willie Boy said:
There is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. Your friend is being an asshole, and needs to be called on it.
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I totally agree with Willie Boy's statement, unless this applies:

quasar said:
Just a thought - does his wife know???

I had an affair with a married man for several years and had the same kind of reaction from my friends.... until I pointed out that his wife knew and was okay about it - in fact we all used to go out together on a Saturday night!
Click to expand...
 
his wife doesnt know. I asked my friend the same question and his answer was 'Not Yet'. Which probably means that it will neva happen. But we will see.
 
quasar said:
Just a thought - does his wife know???

I had an affair with a married man for several years and had the same kind of reaction from my friends.... until I pointed out that his wife knew and was okay about it - in fact we all used to go out together on a Saturday night!
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How could the wife not know?
 
Well his job means that he is away for long periods of time and also he goes to see family in spain regularly, So I can see why she doesn't know
 
Ugh so messy, your friend must know its going to head in a very complicated/intense situation sooner or later, fuck doing that too a family/his wife.
 
chrisied said:
but this is slightly different this is two men, and i dont think that this really applies to the straight world, I think this makes things far more complicated.
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The only part that makes it more complicated than if your friend was a woman is that the dude's wife's reaction to it is completely unpredictable. It could destroy her on a number of levels.
 
quasar said:
Just a thought - does his wife know???

I had an affair with a married man for several years and had the same kind of reaction from my friends.... until I pointed out that his wife knew and was okay about it - in fact we all used to go out together on a Saturday night!
Click to expand...


How could you sit at a dinner table with his wife and still smile and remain comfortable? I understand that she was COOL with you being his "side-fling" but you didnt have ANY limitations?

Somebody had to give a Damn about something...Wow....
 
MisterMajestic said:
How could you sit at a dinner table with his wife and still smile and remain comfortable? I understand that she was COOL with you being his "side-fling" but you didnt have ANY limitations?

Somebody had to give a Damn about something...Wow....
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People give a damn about honesty, trust, loyalty and getting what they want. Some of them just don't want monogamy.
 
My best friend is dating a guy who is in a relationship and still lives with the other girl. She's my best friend, so I'll always support her and be there for her, but at the same time I told her she was a shady dumb ass.
 
Ultimately, what two adults do with each other is of concern only to them and the family members.

If friends don't meet your moral standards, than it's either time to drop that friend or limit your judgements to you own actions.
 
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