Best Friend MIA

[TeamLautner]

Okay so like last year I came out to my pearents and they were super cool about it suprisingly.

However I recently told my best friend who ive know for years and we have stuck by eachother through thick and thin, through our school life and ever since. She said she was cool about it and everything and then she stared calling and texting me less and less and started hanging around with this other group of friends who she has told me on many occasions that she hates instead of our usual group, which doesnt really bother me. However now she is completely ignoring me and every text I send doesnt get a reply, Every phone call ends up on answerphone.

Now I seriously dont know what to do cuz I cant help feeling its something about me being gay because shes still cool with the other people in our group and I have no idea what to do because I feel like going crazy at her and having a huge fight but In the long run I know ill regret it because I hate fighting with people in general

 

[HunterM]

Yep. Move on. It is now her problem...not yours. Make new friends that accept you.

 

[backpacker]

It's also possible that she had a thing for you and is having a hard dealing with the fact that you are gay and will never be with her. If you can, try to find a way to talk to her one on one and let her know you miss her. Don't act mad, just tell her you would like to know what's going on and where your friendship stands. Keep it very low key and show concern for her.

 

[kevin23]

Para and Hunter gave you the correct answer. Move on. She has your contact info if she ever wants to use it. Anything you attempt to do will only make things worse, could get very messy.

 

[medic1]

Yep. Move on. It is now her problem...not yours. Make new friends that accept you.

This is the best advice on here,you were honest with hr and if she can,t return
the favour it kinda say,s it all.

 

[Seasoned]

It's difficult to lose a friend especially when there's no closure. All sign point to the reason being your sexual orientation. Perhaps, but none of us are mind readers. Perhaps she was crushing on you for years. Perhaps her boyfriend is homophobic (I once lost a gal pal that way).

People can be chicken when it comes to honesty and many, many people prefer avoidance. Since the only person you can control is yourself it's best to let go of her. Don't count on it but one day she may make amends.

 

[Rolyo85]

Well, you are lucky. Your family accepted you, and your friend is now shunning you. The good news is that even if we can't choose our family, we CAN and DO choose our friends. I'm fairly certain she had a crush on you, and is now being a cunt about it. I am yet to meet a girl that has a serious issue with homosexuality, so I will assume it's not about you being gay - it's about you not being what she wants.

Remember that, and also remember that a real friend does not do what she did. Apparently you haven't been through real thick and thin until now.

Move on.

 

[TX-Beau]

- it's about you not being what she wants.

I'm going to agree with this. I had (still have actually) a female friend who knew from the get go that I was gay, we hung out, got along really well, and seemed to have no issues.

Until I started dating a guy, at which point she got really jealous bitch on me.

Things were bad for awhile, but eventually we talked it out, she'd been treating me as a"boyfriend," in her head and as long as I was just hooking up, there was no problem, but when the guy came along, she irrationally reacted like I was cheating on her - because I wasn't there for her all the time anymore.

Took time but she eventually got over it. After the initial fireworks I just left her to it. Sometimes people need space to deal, and can't do that if you are always around.

 

[TeamLautner]

Hmm thanks for all the advice guys its helped

I dont think she has a crush on me tho because like shes been with guys and shes told me about all the guys shes been with and stuff but I dunno I kinda get the treating me as a boyfriend bit cuz we spent waaaaaaaaaaaayyy loads of time together n stuff

Ive come to the decision that Im gonna move on from her completely and if I see her out ill be polite and stuff but Im not gonna call or text her, Ive still got my other friends who all are there for me, still sad that I had to loose a friend tho

 

[texan_slant]

Unfortunately, friends come and go, yet a select few can stick around for life.

Circumstances change, needs change, and dynamics change, and only the deepest truest friendships survive.

Not to any fault of your's, I'd say that she either had a crush on you, or just doesn't feel the same anymore after you came out.

It's really not your fault, and it's her loss.

 

[rareboy]

It's difficult to lose a friend especially when there's no closure. All sign point to the reason being your sexual orientation. Perhaps, but none of us are mind readers. Perhaps she was crushing on you for years. Perhaps her boyfriend is homophobic (I once lost a gal pal that way).

People can be chicken when it comes to honesty and many, many people prefer avoidance. Since the only person you can control is yourself it's best to let go of her. Don't count on it but one day she may make amends.

Nailed it.

I had a high school friend who had crushed on me for years contact me after she divorced her husband. For several weeks she was sending emails about how we should get together and reconnect for old time's sake. I finally had the chance in one exchange to say how much my partner and I would love to get together and everything went totally dead.

Like Seasoned, I've also lost a few friends because their spouses were homophobic.

I'd say, accept that she was not a good friend if she only loved you for what she wanted you to be instead of what you are. There are better friends out there just waiting to be part of your life.