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Betrayed?

B

benlemieux2003

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Hi guys,

I've known this guy since last summer and we got along great as friends. Last month, we decided to go out together and things have been wonderful since.

However things have taken a twist in the past couple of days. On his facebook page it was still saying he was in a relationship with his ex-gf. He told me it was because she had people after her in her hometown and so she wanted to keep that "front" so that she doesn't get bothered by guys who found out she's single.

So I thought, meh, okay sure.

I asked him again about changing his status to "in a relationship with" me and he said he was going to change it in a month when he'll be staying at my place for a week because he doesn't want to get too many questions asked by his friends in his hometown.

So again, I'm like, allright.

Now it gets even trickier. His ex-gf kept taging his wall with kisses, I love you, I miss you (and he said they're on very good terms as friends).

I'm kinda getting uncomfortable at that point. So by some chance last night I ended up finding his ex-gf's blog where she wrote in an entry a couple of days ago: "I just found the best Christmas gift for Tom, I hope it'll get there on time. Once he gets it he'll see that I'm the best girlfriend in the world!"

And wow, I'm crushed, feel like I've been run over by a tank. It seems he never broke up with his "ex-girlfriend"...

We're supposed to talk on the phone today... how the hell do I go and confront him about that??
 
You say "friend," but imply you are lovers?

If a jealous friend, back off. If a jealous lover: confront his sorry ass.
 
Just talk to him about it.

"Look, I'm glad you're on good terms with your ex, but I feel like I'm living a lie when she keeps sending you kisses and talking about what a great girlfriend she is to you in a public forum."

Lex
 
benlemieux2003 said:
On his facebook page it was still saying he was in a relationship with his ex-gf. He told me it was because she had people after her in her hometown and so she wanted to keep that "front" so that she doesn't get bothered by guys who found out she's single.
Click to expand...


A liar's drama.

This is when you should have said something other than, "meh, okay sure." Something along the lines of, "Goodbye."

Don't be friends or boyfriends with a liar. If he lies to, for, or about himself or others, he'll lie to you. And although you can shrug off one or two or even a dozen lies, eventually all that deceit and the unsureness it creates in your subconscious builds up and begins to actually change you. It's not good.

If you find someone who cares about you and is true and honest, don't let him go. But run away from liars; they'll turn your life into an unhappy place to be.
 
I have to agree with NickCole advice!

Call his ass up and asking him what the hell is going on...if he studders or pauses in his answer. It's time to move on!

He's trying to get his cake and eat it too!!
 
He's basically dragging you along for the ride with his gf.

One thing I learned from dealing with people is never offer an ultimatum. In this case, choosing between u and his ex. 9/10 times, they choose the person other than the one making the ultimatum.

It's time to move on.
 
Hey guys, update and end. G-Lexington for the win.

"Look, I'm glad you're on good terms with your ex, but I feel like I'm living a lie when she keeps sending you kisses and talking about what a great girlfriend she is to you in a public forum."
Click to expand...

He was really surprised by the situation, as he had no clue she was writing that stuff about him. She's kinda psychotic possessive and somehow still considers him a boyfriend.

He was very sad seeing that it hurt me. So he cut all ties with her and told me that I mattered to him more than anyone he'd ever dated before and that she wasn't going to be in the picture anymore in any shape or form.

And he's changed his status on facebook to "in a relationship" with me. He looked deeply troubled by what had happened and felt really bad that his lack of action on his ex had left some innuendos up in the air but now it's all done, over, and we're happy.

Thanks guys, and especially, thank you Lex.
 
YES!!!

CONGRATS!!

Wow.....he does have feelings for you if he changed his status on facebook to include you!

What to go man. I'm very happy for you right now!!
 
Hey (benlemieux2003 ) am glad you got this situation worked out. And that he's cut this woman out of his life, it looks like he cares alot about you, and I hope it works out.

I wish you all the best, good luck!!!.
 
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