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BF spending too much time with some1else. Jealous!

E

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My BF made friends with this guy on facebook (the guy was having a long-distant relationship with my friend - and they got to know each other becos of that).
He and his BF broke up not long ago ... but was coming here for a short visit where we live to visit him and see the sights. My BF said he culd stay at his place for 2 nights ( Monday - Wed - how long he was staying) and I said that was okay with me cos it wasnt that long a time.

I said I wuld give my BF a cple of days - some time to show him around by himself and that (ive never talked to this guy before). Ive been getting lots of text messages about how much fun they r having - seeing all the sights, going on long road trips - hours at end. Also got a message today saying that he missed his flight and will now be here till Saturday. And now pictures r coming up all over facebook of their adventures (they have more pics than me and my BF has now).

Im just feeling really jealous over all of this. Ive been with my BF for almost 6 months (my first rship). They are spending 24/7 with each other and doing things which me and my BF were planning to do or had planned to do (but something came up). Where we live there isnt really that much to do, and my BF has been saying previously he wants to be spontanious and go to these places with me - And now he has gone to them all with this guy. Which leaves us nothing special and nothing to do, and I dont think he is gonna want to go again time soon.

My BF is saying he wants to see me very soon (tomorrow), but frankly i feel like shit over all of this and dont want to see him. He is going to be with this other guy all day, and ill just feel like a third wheel. I do trust that my BF isnt cheating.

Am i just being overly jealous about this?
 
Re: BF spending too much time with some1else. Jeal

I do trust my BF..
 
Re: BF spending too much time with some1else. Jeal

Dump him, he's some kind of a perv, cos if you don't you'll always go with guys that making you suffer... Now its' the time :)
 
Re: BF spending too much time with some1else. Jeal

just talk to ur bf. tell him u are feeling a wee bit jealous. make sure u explain u are fully aware how silly it is to be jealous, but that you truly can't help it. Maybe scheduling a day when all three of you go sight-seeing?
 
Re: BF spending too much time with some1else. Jeal

Why has he not invited you on some of these adventures--the guy missed his flight and has to stay more than double the amount of time that he originally planned???
 
Re: BF spending too much time with some1else. Jeal

I agree with everyone else that you should tell him how you feel. I don't think your jealousy is a bad thing though. You only feel that way because you love him I would think. Just don't come off like your mad at him and it might flatter him.
 
Re: BF spending too much time with some1else. Jeal

Obviously you aren't the overly jealous type or you would have had a problem with this guy staying with your bf (which would have been wrong). You also gave them space as the guy wasn't really your friend. Had it just been confined to the three day stay as planned, I don't think you would be nearly as upset.

Since he has now doubled the length of his stay, I would have serious questions about what is really going on. Since when does a missed flight translate to staying three more days? Aren't there flights everyday? Depending on where you live, there are probably several flights a day.

At the very least your bf is being very inconsiderate of your feelings. If there are a couple of special things that you guys had previously discussed doing together, he should have declined to do them without you. It would have been the perfect opportunity for him to include you in the visit with his friend. I know I would want to include my bf in some activities as I would want my friend to get to know my bf.

The little voice in the back of your head is saying something isn't right. From what you have written, I'm getting the same feeling. I think it's time to have a talk with your bf.
 
Re: BF spending too much time with some1else. Jeal

tell him how you feel.

But if they are doing things that your boyfriend had originally planned to do with you then that sounds a little fishy and totally wrong.
 
Re: BF spending too much time with some1else. Jeal

i cant really give ya much advice, since i dont know your bf, but i agree with backpacker. There are flights multiple times every day to pretty much anywhere in the world. I am not saying to not trust your bf, but i think you should tell him you are feeling kinda lonely, and tell him you wanna spend some time with him.
 
Re: BF spending too much time with some1else. Jeal

So, why weren't you included in the plans that your boyfriend had with this guy?
 
Re: BF spending too much time with some1else. Jeal

Yeah, there are some details that need to be addressed. He shouldn't have to stay until Saturday and you should be included in the fun.
 
Re: BF spending too much time with some1else. Jeal

I will say you must really 'trust' him. The first red flag I saw which I am a bit shocked that nobody mentioned before was that his 'ex' was coming to visit. I may not be a relationship expert but an ex hanging around is usually not a good thing, especially since the breakup was not too long ago. The fact that now he is staying longer and not including you in your plans causes a huge red flag. To top it off, you never said what was the motive for ur bf's ex visiting (and extending his stay).

I personally don't buy "my ex and I are still friends". That's like dangling a string behind you so a cat can chase you if he wants. The cat can choose to chase the string or not, but as long as the string dangles, there is that possibility to chase it.
I obviously don't know you or your BF and the details of your relationship, but I would seriously have a conversation with your BF and demand it ASAP (politely if it is possible of course). If you have some sort of intuition that something is amiss, it usually is right.

I wish the best of luck though and your conversation with your BF.
 
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