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BF turns down oral sex

S

Shookone88

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I am 21 and he is 52. I was wondering if this was normal... We haven't had sex for about an entire month due to Christmas/new years plans. Today we both had work off and had no plans, he was just watching tv. After his show ended, I pull him to the bedroom and start kissing, pull down his trousers, and start licking/sucking him.

He gives off signals that he isn't interested (Such as pulling away and pushing my head away) and I say "Ok, I won't do this if you don't want me to", I pull up his pants, and leave the room.

I am really fucking frustrated. At the very best we only have sex maybe once a week. I know that he is always at least a little bit horny because I always see he's been watching some porn each day in his computer history.

Maybe he just doesnt like me. :confused:
 
Maybe he is uncomfortable with the age difference.. or doesn't like oral sex. One of the guys I've been with doesn't like oral sex.
 
Yes - you do need to have a talk with your BF. Relationships really only work if they are mutual and it sounds as if you are left doing all the work.

It may be he loves you too much and does not think he is worthy - - it may be many things - - the only way to find out is talking about it.

Good luck - remember to celebrate your life!

Rand
 
Whats with the SOB? he bagged a (presumably) cutie 30 years younger and he's turning you down? put him in his place. you're young and hot, so give yourself the upper hand, buddy.
 
The first thing that comes to my mind, (dirty as it sometimes is :)) is that he pick up a social "ailment" over the holidays, and doesn't want to share it with you.
 
You need to talk with him and express your frustrations. Is he not interested in sex at all, or just doesn't want to receive oral? If he is watching porn instead of having sex with you, that is a very bad sign for your relationship.

Talking with him is really your best bet though. Try not to make it a hostile environment if you can though. You want him to feel like he can tell you whatever it is without receiving harsh words in exchange. Just my opinion though.
 
I am nearly 60 and I also counsel many couples as part of my work. I agree that it is time for heart-to-heart although it may not be easy to make that happen. Men are very sensitive about their sexual performance and often reluctant to talk about it when there are problems.

There are many possibilities for your situation.

It could be that the age difference is threatening to him if he feels that he cannot keep up with you or cannot compete with other experiences you may have had.

It is normal for people’s sexual desire to decline over time. That’s true for both men and women. Generally speaking, someone in his 50s will not want to have sex as frequently as someone in his 20s. That’s a generalization that doesn’t apply to every case but holds true on average. However, many healthy people in their early 50s welcome sex more than once a week.

There are also many conditions that can cause a man’s sexual desire and/or stamina to decline. Among these are some common ones such as depression, hypertension, arteriosclerosis, diabetes and obesity. There are many medications that have the same effect, the most common ones being antidepressants.

It is possible for a man to feel desire but have difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection. Thus a man may be interested in porn but not in person-to-person sexual activity.

This may sound strange but there is a dry-skin condition that can make it very difficult for a man to engage in sex. The head of the penis can get so dry that rubbing it is painful and may even cause bleeding.

If your partner is uncut, you need to be careful not to irritate the foreskin. I’ve known of foreskin enthusiasts who got so carried away playing with their partners’ skin that they made the experience painful for the partners causing them to reject sexual advances.

These are thoughts to consider. It is important that the subject be broached delicately so as not to make the partner feel defensive because that will cause him to withdraw further.

None of these issues make it impossible to have a satisfying sex life. It is even possible for a totally impotent man to engage in satisfactory sex if both partners are willing to work at it.
 
Shookone88 said:
I am 21 and he is 52. I was wondering if this was normal... We haven't had sex for about an entire month due to Christmas/new years plans. Today we both had work off and had no plans, he was just watching tv. After his show ended, I pull him to the bedroom and start kissing, pull down his trousers, and start licking/sucking him.

He gives off signals that he isn't interested (Such as pulling away and pushing my head away) and I say "Ok, I won't do this if you don't want me to", I pull up his pants, and leave the room.

I am really fucking frustrated. At the very best we only have sex maybe once a week. I know that he is always at least a little bit horny because I always see he's been watching some porn each day in his computer history.

Maybe he just doesnt like me. :confused:
Click to expand...

Maybe he cant keep it up..... find someone not so old, ugh i just dont get it...
 
Luka said:
Maybe he cant keep it up..... find someone not so old, ugh i just dont get it...
Click to expand...

Wow, really? He obviously likes the guy, and I don't think age is really his only concern. Just because it is not your thing does not mean you need to criticize someone else's attraction.

"Maybe you should find a woman, ugh I just dont get it..."
 
Why are you with a dude that old anyway?
 
Sultan said:
Why are you with a dude that old anyway?
Click to expand...
excuse me, but why kind of narrow minded shit is that?

and how old is the man you live with? What seemingly innocent and otherwise irrelevant aspect about him can I belittle you for?

That was seriously like asking him why he's a white boy fucking a nigger or a chink.
 
If you have to be with someone that old he should be your slave. If he ain't doing what you want leave the daddy!
 
Im gonna have to stay away fro this thread...cause i forgot im not allowed to have an opinion.
 
Oh please. You know anytime a couple is seen where one of the people is old and the other is like 30 years younger, the thing that's on EVERYONE's mind whether it's a gay couple or what is "why is he/she with him/her?"

People, get off your high horse. It's just a question. Let the man answer for himself.
 
Sultan said:
Oh please. You know anytime a couple is seen where one of the people is old and the other is like 30 years younger, the thing that's on EVERYONE's mind whether it's a gay couple or what is "why is he/she with him/her?"

People, get off your high horse. It's just a question. Let the man answer for himself.
Click to expand...

Don't get me wrong, he can answer it if he wants. But the question that you are asking is "Why are you in a relationship with someone in X category"? Weather that category be age, race, gender, weight, or body style, I don't know a single person that likes being asked it. That is what he clearly finds attractive either mentally, physically, or both.

I am 23, and I can tell you that there are very few 23 year old or younger gay men that I find mentally or physically attractive. They are either immature, or just not attractive to me. There are exceptions to both of these rules, but I cannot think of a single example where these exceptions overlap.

All I am saying is, your question might as well be "Why are you with a man"?
 
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