Bi but think I'm done with the Gay Sex stuff

[jizzinmypants]

I'm fed up. I've been looking for months for a guy I can mess around with/call a friend and have had no luck. I only fooled around once with a guy and it was incredible. It seems like everybody I talk to online is crazy or just looking to get off. I don't want anything serious but I want some kind of a connection. If I wanted to I could meet a different dude every night but thats not the kind of person I am.

I was talking to this one guy and his personality was great and he was so unbelievable good looking. He was a 10/10. I was ready to do ANYTHING with him short of bareback but I asked him if he had any STD's and he said he was HIV+.

TO THINK THIS GUY COULD HAVE GIVEN ME HIV AND DESTROYED MY LIFE IF HE WOULD HAVE LIED!! I feel so fucking stupid. It makes me sick to my stomach.

I had already gotten so attached to him. I always do this. I'll find a guy now and then that seems ok and I immediately get attached, only to be let down. I'm tired of being let down. And I promise you all i'm not even that picky when it comes to looks or personality just as long as I don't see any craziness. In fact, the standards I have with men are so much lower than my standards with women. I'm decent looking. I'm not overweight. I'm a nice guy. I'm young. I'm bi. I'm not "out". Why can't I find the same thing?

I have and always will be interested in Women, and wanted to explore my attraction to men. There are so many things I want to do but i'm thinking maybe I should move on. The time I waste looking for men combined with the risk of catching an STD just doesn't seem worth the trouble anymore.

Thank you all for listening. I feel like I can open up here.

 

[Willie Boy]

I'm fed up. I've been looking for months for a guy I can mess around with/call a friend and have had no luck. I only fooled around once with a guy and it was incredible. It seems like everybody I talk to online is crazy or just looking to get off. I don't want anything serious but I want some kind of a connection. If I wanted to I could meet a different dude every night but thats not the kind of person I am.

I was talking to this one guy and his personality was great and he was so unbelievable good looking. He was a 10/10. I was ready to do ANYTHING with him short of bareback but I asked him if he had any STD's and he said he was HIV+.

TO THINK THIS GUY COULD HAVE GIVEN ME HIV AND DESTROYED MY LIFE IF HE WOULD HAVE LIED!! I feel so fucking stupid. It makes me sick to my stomach.

I had already gotten so attached to him. I always do this. I'll find a guy now and then that seems ok and I immediately get attached, only to be let down. I'm tired of being let down. And I promise you all i'm not even that picky when it comes to looks or personality just as long as I don't see any craziness. In fact, the standards I have with men are so much lower than my standards with women. I'm decent looking. I'm not overweight. I'm a nice guy. I'm young. I'm bi. I'm not "out". Why can't I find the same thing?

I have and always will be interested in Women, and wanted to explore my attraction to men. There are so many things I want to do but i'm thinking maybe I should move on. The time I waste looking for men combined with the risk of catching an STD just doesn't seem worth the trouble anymore.

Thank you all for listening. I feel like I can open up here.

So, you don't think you can catch something from women?

Some vaginas actually do bite (and not in the kinky, funny way).

But methinks, as far as the search goes, is that you are pushing to hard and looking in the wrong places. You say you are looking for a connection and not just a ONS. Try looking for a friend first, then build that into something more. Get out at enjoy things YOU like to do, meet people doing them too. Strike up a convo.

If you look for people who are interested in having sex, about all you'll find are those wanting an ONS, maybe a short term fuck buddy at most.

 

[LGNTexas]

I was in a 13 year relationship with a guy who cheated on me five years into it and became HIV+. I still loved him, took him back and then lived with an HIV+ lover for 8 years. AND I have remained NEGATIVE. We practiced safe sex, had oral sex but didn't swallow. We did a lot of cuddling, too, always slept like spoons in a drawer. But the best part was just having him in my house, a partner to go out with, to eat and drink in cafes and bars, to accompany me to theater and events.

I was hetero until age 26, then was bi for four more years but felt I was dishonest with the women by keeping my secret. The women I came out to as BI always left me.

 

[stevexxx]

try a woman

 

[Elwood]

I think you are over reacting just a little. He told you he was hiv + and you were able to make your choice. It is also your responsibility to protect yourself whether it be with a woman or a man. Like others have mentioned it is not only gay/bi men that have std's, and it is possible to have safe sex with someone who is hiv+. I can understand that maybe you wouldn't want to take that risk but maybe you should better inform yourself on having safe sex instead of freaking out because you "almost" slept with someone who is +.

 

[stevexxx]

I think you are over reacting just a little. He told you he was hiv + and you were able to make your choice. It is also your responsibility to protect yourself whether it be with a woman or a man. Like others have mentioned it is not only gay/bi men that have std's, and it is possible to have safe sex with someone who is hiv+. I can understand that maybe you wouldn't want to take that risk but maybe you should better inform yourself on having safe sex instead of freaking out because you "almost" slept with someone who is +.

there is no such thing as safe sex with someone with HIV, that's like saying you will survive better in a suv than a car being hit by a trailer.

 

[Elwood]

there is no such thing as safe sex with someone with HIV, that's like saying you will survive better in a suv than a car being hit by a trailer.

Please inform your self before making blanket statements. There are several cases of sero/different partners one example in this thread right above my post.

Like I said I can understand that someone is not willing to take the chance but it is possible. And it has been proven.

 

[stevexxx]

Please inform your self before making blanket statements. There are several cases of sero/different partners one example in this thread right above my post.

Like I said I can understand that someone is not willing to take the chance but it is possible. And it has been proven.

so smoking light cigarettes as opposed from regular cigarettes will prevent you from getting lung cancer down the road?

 

[Elwood]

so smoking light cigarettes as opposed from regular cigarettes will prevent you from getting lung cancer down the road?

Ha ha another analogy that makes absolutely no sense. Any who I am not going to go back and forth with you unless you want to have an informed intelligent conversation.

 

[bankside]

Why would you ask someone a question with only one acceptable answer? You asked, he told. He was being responsible. And what you have learned is that even when they risk rejection and freak-outs, people have enough character to be honest.

You sound almost like you're "angry at him for doing this to you." But he didn't get HIV so he could have the option of lying about it and destroying your life.

So, you've learned that hot, attractive, honest men with character can have HIV, and it surprised you. If you knew that going in, you would have been ready for either answer. You could have said "In all honesty I'm not comfortable right now to sleep with you even with a condom. I don't know what to think about it or what to do next. But you're really hot, and I still think it would be a fun time if we jerked off together."

Because if he's jerking off, and you're jerking off, and you're just watching each other, there is a 0.00000000000000% chance of you getting infected.

..unless of course this killer rooster slashes your leg at the exact moment the guy cums, and he splashes jizz on the open wound.

The thing is, you asked, and he had the balls to answer honestly, which pretty much confirms what you said about his good personality. Good luck finding a man or a woman with that kind of integrity.

 

[stevexxx]

isn't it illegal for people who are HIV Positive to have sex with other people?

 

[tipmyscales86]

Yeah I don't really get what this has to do with gay sex. You can catch a disease having sex with anyone that is infected. Women have diseases too, and many of them would probably be too insecure to disclose that, since much of society still holds negative attitudes towards women appearing to be "sluts."

 

[Elwood]

isn't it illegal for people who are HIV Positive to have sex with other people?

Wow really??? I can only answer for Canada because that is what I know. The only time you have to reveal your status is if you are going to engage in risky sexual behavior, the problem is the courts cannot agree on what risky sexual behavior is. You do not even have to inform your dentist or any health care provider and they do not have the right to ask. Also your health care provider cannot reveal your status to anyone. Just a few years ago if you were HIV + your doctor would have to inform the Govt. health agency, things have changed dramatically because,

HIV is no longer what it used to be, a death sentence. It is now considered a chronic illness such as living with diabetes or high blood pressure. Did you know that once a HIV + person gets on the meds and they start working, the HIV virus cannot even be detected in their body.

I am sorry I may be hijacking this thread but attitudes have to change. Because of this type of attitude toward HIV, people are first of all scared to get tested, so they may have it and continue to spread it. Secondly this attitude makes it even harder for a HIV + person to admit he is +. So getting back on topic I totally agree with Bankside when he says "The thing is, you asked, and he had the balls to answer honestly, which pretty much confirms what you said about his good personality. Good luck finding a man or a woman with that kind of integrity."

 

[jizzinmypants]

I want to respond to everyone.

I never said that I couldn't catch an STD from a woman. I don't chat with women on sex sites and I don't date promiscuous girls. I am more likely to find a promiscuous guy because I am looking online and because men are more sex crazed than women in general. I really don't know why some of you are bringing women into the conversation. Regardless I always have safe sex either way.

I am looking for friendship and I always let that be known first and I only target guys that are interested in friendship and/or sex. If I am looking in the wrong places please tell me where to look.

I will not have sexual relations with someone I know who is HIV+. I really don't care how many HIV- people got away with it. Why would I put myself at risk? Safe sex or not, the risk is not worth the return. HIV may not be a death sentence, but I don't want to come into contact with it obviously.

Bankside, I am a little angry at this guy. Not for having HIV+ but for not telling me up front. I was ready to meet this guy and I feel like he lead me on. And I told him very politely that I was no longer interested. I'm not interested in just jerking off with him. I can do that by myself. I'm looking for more than that.

 

[Elwood]

I want to respond to everyone.

I never said that I couldn't catch an STD from a woman. I don't chat with women on sex sites and I don't date promiscuous girls. I am more likely to find a promiscuous guy because I am looking online and because men are more sex crazed than women in general. I really don't know why some of you are bringing women into the conversation. Regardless I always have safe sex either way.

I am looking for friendship and I always let that be known first and I only target guys that are interested in friendship and/or sex. If I am looking in the wrong places please tell me where to look.

I will not have sexual relations with someone I know who is HIV+. I really don't care how many HIV- people got away with it. Why would I put myself at risk? Safe sex or not, the risk is not worth the return. HIV may not be a death sentence, but I don't want to come into contact with it obviously.

Bankside, I am a little angry at this guy. Not for having HIV+ but for not telling me up front. I was ready to meet this guy and I feel like he lead me on. And I told him very politely that I was no longer interested. I'm not interested in just jerking off with him. I can do that by myself.

First off I just want to say that you do not have to have sex with a +person that is your choice and I understand that.

I just do not understand why you are mad, he revealed his status to you. Ok maybe it was not the first words out of his mouth but he told you when it was necessary.
It is not like he revealed it to you after sex. Just for a second put yourself in his shoes, imagine you are HIV+ and every time you meet someone and you start to be attracted to them you realize that you have to tell them, and the chances are that 9/10 are going to have same reaction as you, sorry but I am not interested. So just maybe you start thinking well if they get to know me better before I tell them maybe they will stick around.

It was probably very hard for him to tell you but the fact remains he did tell you before putting you at risk, and that's what matters.