bi,gay,orwhat

[marriedbi]

I must say first if this subject has been posted before im sorry as i have read a lot thats on this forum and have no answers.

alright i have a problem and i hope you can help. i am married (25yrs) love hetro sex and beleive i may be gay or bi, i have a fetish for underwear (mens) and love looking at them on the web. i also look at gay porn and would love to have a gay affair.

My question is am i gay or bi (if there is such a thing) and how would i find someone to have a affair with. I am very confused and would love any advice

 

[TX-Beau]

OK, does your wife know you feel this way? OR are you planning on going behind her back.

Do you have an open relationship? Or does she think you’re monogamous?

Do do this:

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=277498

To her.

You haven't done anything underhanded yet, before you start exploring, maybe you should do your duty by her first.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

Well, you clearly are not completely heterosexual and yes, bisexuality does exist. The question here is what are you going to do? You have said that you are married. Have you discussed this aspect of yourself with your wife? If not, do you plan on doing so?

You've said that you enjoy having sex with your wife? Are you or were you attracted to her, or any other women for that matter? I know that I am asking you a lot of questions, but I am trying to understand your situation better.

 

[josher]

If you genuinely enjoy sexual and emotional relationships with women, you aren't gay.

If you also are sexually attracted to men, you are probably bi.

If you're looking for someone here to instruct you on having an affair with someone, while you are married and behind your wife's back, you're in the wrong place.

I hope you read the thread that TX-Beau linked in his post.

 

[KaraBulut]

Welcome to JUB. Congrats on your first post.

We spend a lot of time trying to find words for what we feel when we should be spending the time trying figure out what it is- exactly- that we want.

The first question for you is whether you are happy with having these fantasies and watching gay porn... and if you're willing to risk your marriage to find out what you want?

 

[marriedbi]

Thankyou gentlemen for your comments, so many questions to answer, TX-beau thanks for the thread it was an eye opener. As for my wife we have had a convertation re me being bi (this came after i asked her to do things to me if you know what i mean) . I have not acted on any of these feelings and dont think i will but i was just looking for advice.

Josher i am not looking for an affair with anyone from this site just some advice

 

[TX-Beau]

Well if your wife knows what you're feeling you're one up on most of the guys who come in here with this issue.

Is she OK with you maybe exploring this outside of your marriage?

The problem is, we can't tell you if you're gay or bi. Only you can answer that. But if the feelings you're having are strong enough to prompt you to explore, that suggests at least bi.

OK what specifically are you confused about.

You seem to be sure that you find men sexually attractive.

You seem to be sure that you still find women sexually attractive.

Where is the confusion specifically? Is this about relationships?

 

[AngelFromAbove]

Thankyou gentlemen for your comments, so many questions to answer, TX-beau thanks for the thread it was an eye opener. As for my wife we have had a convertation re me being bi (this came after i asked her to do things to me if you know what i mean) . I have not acted on any of these feelings and dont think i will but i was just looking for advice.

Josher i am not looking for an affair with anyone from this site just some advice

I am a little confused. Do you still need advice? You've told your wife about your bisexual side and you said that you have no intention on acting on these desires. So, to me, it seems that you have solved your problems.

 

[josher]

Josher i am not looking for an affair with anyone from this site just some advice

That isn't what I meant.

I meant that people in this forum would not be supportive of you having an affair without your wife's knowledge and acceptance.

In your OP you said you'd "love to have a gay affair," and you asked us to advise you how to accomplish that.

If you look through this forum for threads by men who are cheating or want to cheat on their wives with other men, you'll find that the overwhelming majority of people who post here are strongly opposed to that.

If she knows and approves of it, that's another matter.

 

[GaysDivorcee]

I'm the author of the post TX-Beau linked to. For what it's worth, here's my take on your situation and my advice.

First, I doubt you're bi. My ex kept trying to claim he was bi and that he'd enjoyed sex with me. In fact, he just THOUGHT he enjoyed it because he'd imagine I was a guy while we were having sex. He is and always has been homosexual, but was reacting to his upbringing and the time we grew up in. Others may argue, but this is just my opinion based on discussions with dozens of other women in my same situation.

Second, DO NOT CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE. Ever. There is no excuse for adultery. Period. I can't believe she'd be "okay" with you having a gay affair. For her sake and yours, go to counseling -- both of you. And be honest. She'll be more "okay" with you being gay than with you cheating and exposing her to potentially deadly STD's.

You aren't the only one in the marriage and your wife deserves the truth and a fair shake should you divorce. Don't do what my ex did and end up like he did. He's a broken man with a life-threatening illness. And lots of that could have been prevented.

Please go to You Tube and search for "I Married a Gay Guy" and watch the video. It's about 28 minutes. You'll have to sign in because it's for age 18 and up. It deals with mixed orientation marriages and the effects on both the gay and straight spouses. It's sensitively done.