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Bi? Gay?

Queerwitch

Queerwitch

On the Prowl
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Here's my problem. I love guys. Everything about them, from their heads down to their toes, and the stuff between the legs is a major plus...

I can also say there have been woman that I've been attracted to. Hell, I have a crush on one of my best friends who works with me. She's married, so nothing will ever happen there. A vagina can definitely be sexy. I can imagine I'd enjoy eating one, and having sex with the right woman. However, breasts do absolutely nothing for me, and I can't understand for the life of me how straight/bi guys or lesbians for that metter get so worked up over them.

Furthermore, when I imagine myself in a ltr, or married, it's always to a guy. It's the company and love of a man I really desire, even though I probably would enjoy doing some things sexually with a woman. I'm not sure whether even dating a woman appeals to me.

I've debated with friends as to whether that makes me bi. I continue to call myself gay, since it's men I'm really passionate about. Are there other gay-identified guys who feel similar?
 
Take the Flexuality test by James W. Hicks, MD. He is a JUB member btw. This will provide you with lots of information too. Here is a link.
 
Being a definite 50/50 bi male myself, I'll just share my .02.

I think way too many people get wrapped up in the definition and think they have to like one thing and not the the other to fit into a nice tidy definition.

You are what you are. If you lean more to men than you do women, but you can still find yourself attracted to women sexually, that would make you bi.

For me the definition of bi doesn't merely mean the 50/50 mark, even though that's how I identify. I think bi covers the whole spectrum from 30/70 to 70/30.

Most gay men that have been married that I know have told me they were never sexually interested in women.

Some men I know have grown over time from being mildy attracted to women to not at all.

Tastes change (at least to most people I know who identify as bi). Whereas most gay's tastes on that matter don't, as i fully believe it's genetic.

Dont get caught up in a label. Just have fun :)

D
 
It's more than genetic, I slept with women only when I was younger. I was perfectly capable of understanding the attraction, and performing. But really what was going on was a whole lot of denial about being gay.

I didn't find them repulsive, I didn't have to get drunk to do it, it was fun and pleasurable, but the moment I started having sex with men, any desire to pursue women sexually completely disappeared.
 
TX-Beau said:
It's more than genetic, I slept with women only when I was younger. I was perfectly capable of understanding the attraction, and performing. But really what was going on was a whole lot of denial about being gay.

I didn't find them repulsive, I didn't have to get drunk to do it, it was fun and pleasurable, but the moment I started having sex with men, any desire to pursue women sexually completely disappeared.
Click to expand...

Not being gay myself I wasn't sure how to phrase that without coming across as completely clueless.

Point made and taken :)

I will restrict my comments to what i know :p
 
Hey talk away, basically what I did was talk myself into wanting women. Of course it wasn't the women I was attracted to, it was the heterosexuality, and straight guys wanted women - I was straight, therefore, I must want women.

The twisted logic of the closeted mind. Thank god I don't have to deal with that shit anymore.
 
I agree. Coming out has to be one of the most liberating feelings I've ever had :)

Your logic makes perfect sense.

Done with the derail :D
 
I understand the "just have fun" part of human sexuality, but, in reality, that only works in the long run if your partners want nothing more than that. In general folks start pairing off and there may come a time when it's no longer fun doing both men and women.

I was married. I have children. I was never bi and by the way a vagina wrapped around my penis felt a whole lot better than any anus.
 
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