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Bi Guys, how do you tell that special girl your bi? Need Advice!

lugus15 said:
^ So you´re married, right??? And your husband is 100% heterosexual. But what would you think, react or do if suddenly you found out your husband is bisexual??? Even the most understanding of women would have to cope with it someway or another. I mean I just can not believe it that someone would just shrug it off, it must have some effect (for better or for worse), even the most minimal, but some...

Just food for thought
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I already answered this in my first post. I'd be fine with bisexuality, IF my partner had been honest and upfront about it from the beginning. If I found out after years of marriage that he'd been hiding it from me, I'd be angry and upset. Not the being attracted to men, per se, the fact that he'd been hiding an important part of himself from me. No, I wouldn't just 'shrug it off'. But that's not the situation we're talking about here. The OP wants to tell his gf near the start of their relationship. He's not talking about what might happen if he's been married for 10 or 20 years, THEN tells her.
 
Lugus15, no I am not married. Are you even reading the post? Exactly what are you bringing to this conversation? I mean, seriously. What would I do or how would I react if I found out my husband was suddenly 100% hetero? Is that what you are suppose to be asking me? Have you read a single word i have typed? I WANT TO BRING THIS UP ASAP. FOCUS!!!! NOW, your not even mentioning the age difference. No offense, but your not helping. Your rambling on about things I am not even discussing is a distraction. I'd like only serious responses. Please, go back and read my post and sit this one out. Just food for thought.

WHo's wanting to keep their mouths shut? Okay, let me say this again because some people aren;t getting it. I WANT TO BRING THE SUBJECT UP OF MY BISEXUALITY ASAP. Get it? I don;t want to wait. I want to be honest and bring it out into the open. I keep hearing people tell me women don;t like guys who are bi. So, I guess I should either change my sexual orenitation,keep my mouth shut and be dishonest or prepare to loose a woman if I tell her. These are my options? Good God. Oh, and this advice is coming from bisexual men? WOW, I am so glad you do not speak for the majority.Talk about self loathing. YIKES!

I agree with asking my female friends and Candyapple and SinfulSimon, thanks. Great advice.
 
Romantico said:
Lugus15, no I am not married. Are you even reading the post? Exactly what are you bringing to this conversation? I mean, seriously. What would I do or how would I react if I found out my husband was suddenly 100% hetero? Is that what you are suppose to be asking me? Have you read a single word i have typed? I WANT TO BRING THIS UP ASAP. FOCUS!!!! NOW, your not even mentioning the age difference. No offense, but your not helping. Your rambling on about things I am not even discussing is a distraction. I'd like only serious responses. Please, go back and read my post and sit this one out. Just food for thought.

WHo's wanting to keep their mouths shut? Okay, let me say this again because some people aren;t getting it. I WANT TO BRING THE SUBJECT UP OF MY BISEXUALITY ASAP. Get it? I don;t want to wait. I want to be honest and bring it out into the open. I keep hearing people tell me women don;t like guys who are bi. So, I guess I should either change my sexual orenitation,keep my mouth shut and be dishonest or prepare to loose a woman if I tell her. These are my options? Good God. Oh, and this advice is coming from bisexual men? WOW, I am so glad you do not speak for the majority.Talk about self loathing. YIKES!

I agree with asking my female friends and Candyapple and SinfulSimon, thanks. Great advice.
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Romantico: I'm guessing that Lugus's post about being married to a hetero man was directed to me.

Yes, I'm sure there are some women who couldn't handle the fact that their bf is bi. But I still don't think you should hide your sexuality from this girl. I agree with SinfulSimon. If she loves you, she'll accept your sexuality. If she doesn't accept it, she's not the right partner for you. Bravo to you for wanting to be honest and upfront about your sexuality.
 
Well, after reading it your probably right. Lugus needs to be more clear and direct his comments to the proper person and use names,after all thats how we identify ourselves.

Thanks again. I think you and Simon are right.
 
my Lady knows I am bi, I told her when we had been together for a short time, it's the right thing to do....in my opinion....she has a right to know, just don't be in such a hurry to tell her. Let her get to know you first so she can see who you are really are and not just judge you based on your sexuallity.
 
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So, how did it go, Romantico? I posted something on a similar topic earlier this week, if you're interested in reading about my experience. Anyway, hope things are still going well with her.
 
Thanks for asking. So far, everything is great. I told her but she already knew. Apparently she asked some people 'what my story was'. As gossip goes, it came up. I followed my instincts and being upfront and totally honest early on paid off. We're taking things slow and just getting to know each other. She's very touchy and clingy. I usually don't like that but for some reason I don't mind it with her. She's very curious about my sexuality but she's not really asking too many questions. I think she doesn't want to be rude or come off as being nosey, but I actually kind of like it. It shows me she wants to know me and I am more upfront and honest with those who really want to get to know me.This girl makes me feel confident and secure with myself.

Anyway, no fights or arguments yet. As the title of the post suggests, its not always easy bringing the subject up but in my case it paid off. I still think by telling her early is the way to go. If she was not cool with it I would not have bothered getting to know her. If I got to know her and then told her and she was not cool with it I would be really hurt. Anyway, thanks for asking and Good Luck!
 
awwww...that's sweet Romantico! It sounds like you're off to a great start. I didn't think she'd have a problem w/ your sexuality and it's awesome that everything is working out.

Nurlan, I hope that everything is going well on your front.
 
Actually, that wasn't Lugus's fault. I went back and re-read it and I DID write that.Theres about a 9 year age difference. She'll be 20 in March and I'll be 29 in April. I'm just now catching that. Man, this thread seemed like it was ages ago. I was so terrified when I posted this. I've come so far since. I'm glad it was bumped. It was weird reading it again and I hope other bi guys in the same boat as I can benefit from it. I still believe with all my heart that telling someone your bi as early on is the best move you can make. My lover sort of knew before hand but still that act of honesty goes along way. I knew I didn't want to tell her after 3 or 4 dates or 3 or 4 weeks or months.If she didn't take that risk or gave me a chance I would have gone mad by now. :confused:
 
Romantico said:
Actually, that wasn't Lugus's fault. I went back and re-read it and I DID write that.Theres about a 9 year age difference. She'll be 20 in March and I'll be 29 in April. I'm just now catching that.
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Why would you say that you are 32 when you are 28??

It looks like that someone got confused about the made up personality.

Romantico said:
I'm 32 and she is 21.
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LOL! Yeah you found me out dude. I don't exist. Seriously, I have found I have PM'd members here and have become friends with and then discovered in older threads we hated each other. People here have actually met me in person. Some even have my Myspace and Facebook page's and know me. .:D
 
Romantico said:
LOL! Yeah you found me out dude. I don't exist.:D
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You are clearly creating this fake Romantico personality and you thought 28 would fit much better.

Do you really have a gf? Are you really the one who you are trying to portrait here at jub?

I doubt it.
 
Man, are you for real? Do I really have to explain myself to you? Did I piss you off in another thread? I don't have to prove a damn thing.
 
DennisThePennis said:
You are clearly creating this fake Romantico personality and you thought 28 would fit much better.

Do you really have a gf? Are you really the one who you are trying to portrait here at jub?

I doubt it.
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hahahaha. Why do you care so much? You don't even know the guy.
 
Re: Bi Guys, how do you tell that special girl you

I told my wife on our first date, "I'm bisexual and I will cheat on you." She replied, "So." We've been together ever since and life is good. I don't cheat on her, since we have an open relationship (she gets to see other guys, too). Honest is always the best policy. Just be prepared for her to out you. She may talk to others about what you share with her.

Grigori
 
Re: Bi Guys, how do you tell that special girl you

I think it's good to be honest but I think it would be good to wait until she or that special person gets to know WHO YOU ARE before dropping the bomb, that way they already know you and have an attachment, they will probably be more likely to accept it rather than run from it initially... thats what makes sense to me... I have no experience and I'm pretty scared of dating and telling chicks about bi-ness as well...
 
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