Bi or str8 just messing with me?

[Ichigofang16]

K i can't figure out my friend/coworker. Hes younger than me by a few years--though me and him sit comfy on the same maturity level. (I tend to be a joke-ster). We work at a pool so we are always either half naked or nearly. Thing is we rough house a lot, wrestling and fighting in the water--all fun. (to give you guys a better picture hes younger but has a bigger built body than mine).
However he then does things that make me wonder:
--likes to choke me/ pull me close into bear hugs and things
--goes out of his way to touch me
--he plays with my hair--i have dreads
--today he was like side hugging me a saying i was warm and stuff
--stole my towel twice and rubbed himself dry with it/ deck changed behind my towel.
among other things, can't get a read on him.
It doesn't bother me all that much, and if he swung bi or gay way i wouldn't mind attention--hes a pretty cute guy...just not knowing whats going on is drivin me crazy. So what do you guys think this is?

 

[njcollegekid]

could be just a really playful type straight guy. my roommate is straight (so far that i know) and he still slaps my ass, stroked my foot as i was typing just now and i had to move it, and even stuck a dollar down my underwear once - and he knows im bi (also told him to quite it as nothing is ever gonna happen between us).
or perhaps he gets off on the attention. i know i do - love turning other people on. could be straight or bi or gay, it could just be that he likes your reaction.
or maybe he wants to get with you. does he know you are bi?

 

[Ichigofang16]

Don't think he does...not sure.

 

[itsmeagain]

Get to know him better---sexually. Ask him what he is into. As things go, does he have a gf? (Or ever? )
sexuality is sometimes like a puzzle. Put the pieces together, maybe he will help.
Careful going into his pants though. Friends are better than sex.

 

[zebec847]

touching your hair is an extremely intimate gesture

 

[Ichigofang16]

Well i'm black, for some weird reason white people like touching my hair....

 

[mcbrion]

I agree..playing with a person's hair is VERY intimate...

 

[Ichigofang16]

And I try but he has this weird thing where he'll only answer like 3 text and then go silent the rest of the day or even week

 

[njcollegekid]

playing with someones hair is pretty intimate. i love it when people run their hands through mine, feels pretty sensual.
but on the other hand, you say you have dreads. i have only ever seen dreads on 2 people, and never felt them. so it could be a curiosity factor that made him do it initially. and even though after that the act becomes intimate, i does not need to be sexually intimate. i know this one guy from my highschool who would always play with this other guys hair cuz he said it felt like a pad of steel wool and was weird - as far as im aware they are both totally straight and just good friends.

 

[Ichigofang16]

Thats what I'm trying to figure out. If it's just a friend thing then cool, but then he'll do something else...and i notice he only does this stuff with me.

 

[njcollegekid]

well, if your out, you may as well tell him. if he is straight or deep in the closet - there is a 99.99% chance that nothing changes. see above about what my roommate used to do before he knew - and how he still does all that shit. gets on my nerves too - you dont start playing with another dudes foot while sitting next to your gf. thats just weird.
but if he is gay/bi, he may be very interested in that info, and maybe grab you by the neck, pull you in for a kiss, slam your torsos together and... you get the idea

 

[Ichigofang16]

I'm starting to wonder if i should come out.....But in the case of him, I wanna know. I did ask him once, cause we were making jokes about....oh yeah he tried to push me into the pool and i pulled him in with me, h landed on his ass hole and it got bruised. after we checked he was ok we laughed and told him what do you think people would think happen to him over the weekend with him walking funny. he laughed and something else came up and i snuck in the question of are u bi and his voice cracked hard when he answered no.

Urgh why is life so complicated?

 

[njcollegekid]

well you are making it complicated to some extent. you want him to tell you he is bi, but you dont want to tell him. and i 100% understand. but 'life favors the bold', you gotta risk it and tell him.
voice cracking was probably brought on by a bit of anxiety, either because he is hiding his sexuality, or because he isnt bi/gay and doesnt want to come across as such.

 

[nycguydowntown]

when u are horsing around with him---have u ever noticed a boner in his Speedo?

 

[Ichigofang16]

No not really, though I did shower one time in the locker room to get ready for work and he followed me down there and watched and I thought he had a boner then but I wasn't sure, there was a deffinately bulge though. Thats what made me think he was bi/gay and caused me to call all this into question.
And on the whole telling him thing. I could, cause I have never really cared what others think of me...however I know if things turned sour and a whole lot of people got on my case for being bi i'd act out in a violent manner--what happens when i'm pushed too far (I maybe a little guy but i can do damage and have a tendency to take things too far).

 

[tomhrdhat]

Sounds like he just really likes you, maybe brotherly.

 

[njcollegekid]

If you're brave you can hug him from behind and grab his crotch and see how he reacts.

sounds like a fun time