BIG crush, big problem...

[Blue_saber]

Hey guys! I haven't posted here in a long time. This is more or less something I want to get out (you know us closeted guys don't have many people to talk about this issues). Any advice would be nice. Questions are welcome, too.

Well, I have a big crush on a cute guy that works at a shop near my house. He grew on me, mostly because he's the nicest, most polite guy ever. We go at the same school, but don't share classes toghether (different careers).

Anyway, I never had the courage to speak to him whatsoever (or maybe I wasn't too interested at the moment), but he started talking to me (I go there often to get stuff) about how he's seen me at school and such... normal friendly conversation. We started waving and greeting whenever we meet since then.

Just a few weeks ago, I decided to take it a bit further and start a conversation (after many failed attempts), and I think it all turned out nicely, as we've talked a couple of times (mostly about school). This takes me to a big dilemma.

Of course, I'm not sure if he's gay, or at least Bi. Half of me wants to keep thinking about him, and the other half wants to shut the feelings down before I get greatly dissapointed... It happened once before.

So that's the thing. I have no idea if I should keep getting happy because he remembers what I like to buy and because he's interested in my schedule, or if I should ignore those "imaginary signals" and aknowledge he's just a nice guy who likes to be friendly.

This got me a bit down since yesterday. It's just that I've had this up-and-down situation before, and it makes it worse...

Whatever the case, writing about it already makes me feel better. More so, knowing I can get some help from my JUB friends

Thanks for taking your time for reading and replying!

 

[Martkell2007]

I hate to be a party-poop, but mostly likely, he's just taking time to talk to someone who is around his area, but he doesn't really know.

It's so easy for gay men to mistake friendliness for a romantic interest because in the end, we must admit that we really are closeted optimist and hopeless romantics.

 

[G-Lexington]

Well, that's kind of the curse of being closeted. Were you out, you could drop a stray reference here or there - "oh, my ex-boyfriend really liked that product". But you can't. All you can do is remain friends, keep conversations going, and hope HE gives some indication which side he stands on first. Of course, he might be thinking the same thing about you, in which case you're both in for a long ride.

Lex

 

[FootballMuscle]

I agree with Martkell2007. He seems like a totally cool guy who could be a good drinking buddy, but I doubt he's gay/bi/interested in a sexual relationship.

That doesn't mean you guys won't ever hang out.

 

[jackoroe]

Good gosh, ask him out for a beer or a cup of coffee already! Get to talking with him, see what his interests are. Girlfriends or lack of same are bound to come up. Take your cue from what he says. For example, if he talks about banging his girlfriends head into the wall when he long bones her, he's most likely not gay. If he's reluctant to talk about his girl or women, he may play for our team.

Look, here's the most important thing. If you don't try, you'll never know. Life will really get to suck after a while of never taking a shot once in a while.

 

[Blue_saber]

Thank you very much for your comments, guys. I know this sort of things come with being closeted, and yes, he can pretty much be straight, gay or bi until I know for sure.

The thing is, I can't help thinking too much about him and such. It has been a very different attraction, as he didn't catch my eye because of his appearance at first.

I think Jack's advice is good, I will do well in taking some chances, as I can be done with it. If I don't, I could regret it. I don't think I could invite him for a coffe, though...

I guess I'll keep trying to be a close[ish] friend of his, even if I can't shut what I feel. Thanks again, guys!

 

[-Ryan-]

This is more or less something I want to get out (you know us closeted guys don't have many people to talk about this issues).

so right, unfortunately, >.>

Well, I have a big crush on a cute guy that works at a shop near my house. He grew on me, mostly because he's the nicest, most polite guy ever.

Anyway, I never had the courage to speak to him whatsoever (or maybe I wasn't too interested at the moment), but he started talking to me (I go there often to get stuff) about how he's seen me at school and such... normal friendly conversation.

are you explaining one of my experiences as well!

Of course, I'm not sure if he's gay, or at least Bi. Half of me wants to keep thinking about him, and the other half wants to shut the feelings down before I get greatly dissapointed... It happened once before.

So that's the thing. I have no idea if I should keep getting happy because he remembers what I like to buy and because he's interested in my schedule, or if I should ignore those "imaginary signals" and aknowledge he's just a nice guy who likes to be friendly.

This got me a bit down since yesterday. It's just that I've had this up-and-down situation before, and it makes it worse...

its up to you if you want to be a risk-taker; that means getting hurt.
unfortunately, when we get hurt, we either be pessimists or optimists. we stay wary of other people or we either keep on trying...

I hate to be a party-poop, but mostly likely, he's just taking time to talk to someone who is around his area, but he doesn't really know.

It's so easy for gay men to mistake friendliness for a romantic interest because in the end, we must admit that we really are closeted optimist and hopeless romantics.

=[

i know, sad, but true -.-
its the way the world works, UNFORTUNATELY...

Well, that's kind of the curse of being closeted. Were you out, you could drop a stray reference here or there - "oh, my ex-boyfriend really liked that product". But you can't. All you can do is remain friends, keep conversations going, and hope HE gives some indication which side he stands on first. Of course, he might be thinking the same thing about you, in which case you're both in for a long ride.

Lex

again, this is if you decide to be a risk taker...

I agree with Martkell2007. He seems like a totally cool guy who could be a good drinking buddy, but I doubt he's gay/bi/interested in a sexual relationship.

That doesn't mean you guys won't ever hang out.

you know, if he gets drunk... ^.-
just kidding xP

Good gosh, ask him out for a beer or a cup of coffee already! Get to talking with him, see what his interests are. Girlfriends or lack of same are bound to come up. Take your cue from what he says. For example, if he talks about banging his girlfriends head into the wall when he long bones her, he's most likely not gay. If he's reluctant to talk about his girl or women, he may play for our team.

Look, here's the most important thing. If you don't try, you'll never know. Life will really get to suck after a while of never taking a shot once in a while.

and again, the choice is risk taking!

 

[attallaborn]

if your asking if his intrested, you havnt exhibited any signs about him that would indicate that he is flirty or gay. just because he makes small talk, remembers your schedule, etc. doesnt mean shit. i wait tables and know guys who come in to eat all the time and I remember their meals,etc but have no interest in them at all. if he starts making remarks about your physical appearance or starts to glare at you weird, then you may be on to something. for now, dont get too gayish with him. he'll catch on and it may freak him out. good luck

 

[rareboy]

I should ignore those "imaginary signals" and aknowledge he's just a nice guy who likes to be friendly.

Sound advice.

 

[CtBoyWonder]

if your asking if his intrested, you havnt exhibited any signs about him that would indicate that he is flirty or gay. just because he makes small talk, remembers your schedule, etc. doesnt mean shit. i wait tables and know guys who come in to eat all the time and I remember their meals,etc but have no interest in them at all. if he starts making remarks about your physical appearance or starts to glare at you weird, then you may be on to something. for now, dont get too gayish with him. he'll catch on and it may freak him out. good luck

Or you can think about it this way? Since you really don't know the guy very well. If you make a move and he rejects you. You can move on, and count it as a learning experience. "Water under the bridge" as they say. I say ask him for coffee. See how it goes. If it doesn't work out, no big deal.

J.P.